Raw emotions; those feelings we hide from others but spew on those we love the most.
I've spent my life trying to keep my raw emotions in check. I'm a Christian woman who loves Jesus and her family passionately but can get thrown for a loop emotionally and show it.
Not to the world at large mind you. Oh no, I'm patient and loving and extraordinarily kind to the grocery clerk, the UPS delivery woman, and even the sometimes snippy clerk at the returns counter who doesn't appreciate my inability to keep receipts. They get my best.
It's the people I absolutely love the most that sometimes get my worst. I hate that.
And it's usually the smallest, dumbest things that set me off and send me into a tizzy. One of my kids forgetting to do the dishes last night though I reminded them 3 times before I went to bed. My husband saying something with a slight edge and quickness to his voice. One of my teenagers taking too long to run an errand and not answering their cell phone when I call over and over.
These are those things that make my heart race and spark something raw and ugly to spew out of my lips. The same lips that give tender kisses and get lost in praising God on Sunday mornings. The same lips that say I love you a thousand times. Yes, those same lips that then get swept away in chaotic feelings and go to bed in tears asking, "God why do I sometimes act the way I acted today? Please help me. Please forgive me."
I have to think I'm not alone in struggling with feeling like I'm quite simply coming unglued at times. Not all the time. That's what makes this complicated. I can go long stretches of time where I finally feel like I've mastered my emotions and my heart tilts back to an even keel.
But then out of the blue some circumstance bangs its fist down on my little glue bottle and ugly, sticky gunk shoots out on someone I love. And the sad thing about me coming unglued is inevitably, it sticks things on them I never intended.
That's why I think it's high time to stand up and honestly tackle this issue that can't be solely blamed on hormones. Sure hormones play a part in this but they can't be my excuse. The Bible promises it is possible for God's girls to practice self-control.
And I can't find the escape clause where self control is possible except in times of hormonal flux. Trust me, I've looked.
But as I looked, I did find hope that God doesn't want me to be a slave to my raw emotions. As a matter of fact, I've gained some confidence it is actually possible to boss them around a bit. Tangled inside my anger, anxiety and other emotions that beg my heart to betray the woman I want to be, is a glorious hope.
That's what I want to chat about this week.
So, I have some questions for you:
* Do you ever struggle with raw emotions?
* Which raw emotions trip you up sometimes?
I've spent my life trying to keep my raw emotions in check. I'm a Christian woman who loves Jesus and her family passionately but can get thrown for a loop emotionally and show it.
Not to the world at large mind you. Oh no, I'm patient and loving and extraordinarily kind to the grocery clerk, the UPS delivery woman, and even the sometimes snippy clerk at the returns counter who doesn't appreciate my inability to keep receipts. They get my best.
It's the people I absolutely love the most that sometimes get my worst. I hate that.
And it's usually the smallest, dumbest things that set me off and send me into a tizzy. One of my kids forgetting to do the dishes last night though I reminded them 3 times before I went to bed. My husband saying something with a slight edge and quickness to his voice. One of my teenagers taking too long to run an errand and not answering their cell phone when I call over and over.
These are those things that make my heart race and spark something raw and ugly to spew out of my lips. The same lips that give tender kisses and get lost in praising God on Sunday mornings. The same lips that say I love you a thousand times. Yes, those same lips that then get swept away in chaotic feelings and go to bed in tears asking, "God why do I sometimes act the way I acted today? Please help me. Please forgive me."
I have to think I'm not alone in struggling with feeling like I'm quite simply coming unglued at times. Not all the time. That's what makes this complicated. I can go long stretches of time where I finally feel like I've mastered my emotions and my heart tilts back to an even keel.
But then out of the blue some circumstance bangs its fist down on my little glue bottle and ugly, sticky gunk shoots out on someone I love. And the sad thing about me coming unglued is inevitably, it sticks things on them I never intended.
That's why I think it's high time to stand up and honestly tackle this issue that can't be solely blamed on hormones. Sure hormones play a part in this but they can't be my excuse. The Bible promises it is possible for God's girls to practice self-control.
And I can't find the escape clause where self control is possible except in times of hormonal flux. Trust me, I've looked.
But as I looked, I did find hope that God doesn't want me to be a slave to my raw emotions. As a matter of fact, I've gained some confidence it is actually possible to boss them around a bit. Tangled inside my anger, anxiety and other emotions that beg my heart to betray the woman I want to be, is a glorious hope.
That's what I want to chat about this week.
So, I have some questions for you:
* Do you ever struggle with raw emotions?
* Which raw emotions trip you up sometimes?
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