Yesterday I started a story about Brooke. Just in case you missed it, I'll go back and catch you up a bit...
A few days ago I drove Brooke to school. On the way she ate her gourmet breakfast handmade by the president of Proverbs 31 Ministries- 2 slices of buttered toast. One piece of which was an end piece.
The bane of my child's existence is a piece of bread with the crust still attached. So, you can imagine the sheer happiness she felt when one whole piece of her toast was nothing but crust. Absolute joy.
Anyhow, after she picked and licked and chewed little pieces from the center, her plate was full of crumbs. Crumbs that I didn't want all over my already nasty vehicle. So, as we pulled to the front of the school I simply said, "Brooke, please carry your paper plate of crumbs with you and throw it away."
You would have thought I just sprouted six clueless heads and told the child to take a ten pound sack of trash with her. She wanted no part of carrying a paper plate of crumbs up to the front of her school.
Her reaction frustrated me.
Mentally, I started ticking off in my brain everything I'd done for that child that very morning. With each item on the very long list I felt my heart getting more and more revved up. This all happened in nano-seconds which is what makes these raw emotions so tough.
My emotional heart moves faster than my rational mind.
That's why I must pause-pause-pause before my mouth speaks. I have to redirect the place from which my words will come. If they come from my fast moving, revved up, irrational, heart- I will react out of my feelings in the moment.
If however, they come from my more rational mind- I can see things more clearly and react more appropriately.
So, I wisely chose in this situation to pause. And that's when I could see very clearly what was really bothering me in this situation. Ungratefulness is a huge trigger for me.
I'm all about giving, loving, and serving until someone pulls the ungrateful card on me and wham! My tame emotions become raw in an instant.
Since that was the real problem here, I was able to calmly address this with a logical consequence, "Brooke, I'm asking you to take this plate up to the trashcan and throw it away. If you choose not to do this, there will be a consequence. This afternoon you will need me to do something for you. And if you say no to me now, you are begging me to say no to you this afternoon."
I won't tell you she was suddenly all smiles and giggles. But, she did throw the paper plate away. And even if she hadn't, I was empowered by having a logical consequence to speak loudly so I didn't have to.
Now, I wish this had been the way I reacted the rest of day to other situations in my home. We have a lot of kids so we have a lot of situations.
I didn't remember to pause other times. That's where God's grace steps in and reminds me old habits sometimes die hard.
I can't do this on my own. I have to keep asking God for His super natural strength to invade my very wild heart.
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever," (Psalm 73:26).
How are you doing sweet sister? What are you learning? Do you have any verses that are particularly helpful in taming your raw emotions?
One last note... Holly is excited to announce, her husband Dan has a job and they don't have to move! And do you know what's really amazing? The day their severance pay from his old job runs out is the day his new job is scheduled to begin. Praise the Lord!
A few days ago I drove Brooke to school. On the way she ate her gourmet breakfast handmade by the president of Proverbs 31 Ministries- 2 slices of buttered toast. One piece of which was an end piece.
The bane of my child's existence is a piece of bread with the crust still attached. So, you can imagine the sheer happiness she felt when one whole piece of her toast was nothing but crust. Absolute joy.
Anyhow, after she picked and licked and chewed little pieces from the center, her plate was full of crumbs. Crumbs that I didn't want all over my already nasty vehicle. So, as we pulled to the front of the school I simply said, "Brooke, please carry your paper plate of crumbs with you and throw it away."
You would have thought I just sprouted six clueless heads and told the child to take a ten pound sack of trash with her. She wanted no part of carrying a paper plate of crumbs up to the front of her school.
Her reaction frustrated me.
Mentally, I started ticking off in my brain everything I'd done for that child that very morning. With each item on the very long list I felt my heart getting more and more revved up. This all happened in nano-seconds which is what makes these raw emotions so tough.
My emotional heart moves faster than my rational mind.
That's why I must pause-pause-pause before my mouth speaks. I have to redirect the place from which my words will come. If they come from my fast moving, revved up, irrational, heart- I will react out of my feelings in the moment.
If however, they come from my more rational mind- I can see things more clearly and react more appropriately.
So, I wisely chose in this situation to pause. And that's when I could see very clearly what was really bothering me in this situation. Ungratefulness is a huge trigger for me.
I'm all about giving, loving, and serving until someone pulls the ungrateful card on me and wham! My tame emotions become raw in an instant.
Since that was the real problem here, I was able to calmly address this with a logical consequence, "Brooke, I'm asking you to take this plate up to the trashcan and throw it away. If you choose not to do this, there will be a consequence. This afternoon you will need me to do something for you. And if you say no to me now, you are begging me to say no to you this afternoon."
I won't tell you she was suddenly all smiles and giggles. But, she did throw the paper plate away. And even if she hadn't, I was empowered by having a logical consequence to speak loudly so I didn't have to.
Now, I wish this had been the way I reacted the rest of day to other situations in my home. We have a lot of kids so we have a lot of situations.
I didn't remember to pause other times. That's where God's grace steps in and reminds me old habits sometimes die hard.
I can't do this on my own. I have to keep asking God for His super natural strength to invade my very wild heart.
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever," (Psalm 73:26).
How are you doing sweet sister? What are you learning? Do you have any verses that are particularly helpful in taming your raw emotions?
One last note... Holly is excited to announce, her husband Dan has a job and they don't have to move! And do you know what's really amazing? The day their severance pay from his old job runs out is the day his new job is scheduled to begin. Praise the Lord!
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