Thank you for your honest and vulnerable comments from yesterday's post on raw emotions. Obviously, this strikes a pretty universal chord for us women. Isn't it nice to know we're not alone? But isn't it also sad how defeating and discouraging this is for so many of us?
I really wish learning to tame our raw emotions could come in three easy steps. Be mild. Don't yell. Exert self-control.
Sounds nice.
But learning to navigate raw emotions isn't a step by step process. For me, it's more like pealing back the layers of an onion and honestly dealing with whatever I find. If I find ugly there, I have to see it for what it is, call it what it is, and make the choice to progress or regress.
Opportunities to progress or regress don't come in tidy times of complete rationality. They come in the midst of hard situations.
Patience is birthed through situations that beg us to be impatient. Gentleness is birthed in situations that beg us to be angry. Courage is birthed through situations that beg us to be afraid.
Each time we feel a raw emotion coming to the surface it's an opportunity to either fall back into patterns that make us wallow in guilt or choose more wisely and make progress.
"Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil," (Ephesians 4: 26-27).
There are three things that jump out to me with these verses. First, it's not wrong for me to feel a raw emotion- in this case anger. Remember when I talked last week about feelings being indicators but not dictators? I think this verse reiterates that perfectly. It is possible to feel a raw emotion but not let it carry me to a place of full blown craziness.
Secondly, the sun going down on your anger part reminds me the most healthy way to deal with a raw emotion is to not let it fester. There is absolutely a place to walk away and cool down when we feel all tangled up inside. But, raw emotions deferred too long will ferment into bitterness, resentment, and magnified raw emotions. Basically, they rot and everyone can smell their stink.
Lastly, the 'give the devil no opportunity part.' This is the part of this verse that really grabbed my collar and in the best way got all in my face. When I let my emotions carry me to a place of wild responses, it's like I hand the devil the key to my heart and say, "Come on in and ransack all I hold dear. You can't take up permanent residence here but feel free to stay a while and smear my pastel world with the darkness of shame, guilt, and condemnation."
This visual makes me shutter.
And it makes me hyper aware that I don't just fall willy nilly into hard situations. Satan often schemes me to a place where raw emotions feel so enticing I want to give in and hand him that key.
In a logical moment I wouldn't give Satan the time of day. But let those raw emotions start churning, pulling me into irrationality and it's sad what kind of opportunities I freely afford him.
But sisters, let me sprinkle some hope around this morning. Today is a new day. And just because we've been making some stinky choices in the past while feeling like a slave to those raw emotions- we can change! We are only one choice away from freedom. So, let's make the choice today to progress instead of regress.
Yesterday I drove Brooke to school. On the way she ate her gourmet breakfast handmade by the president of Proverbs 31 Ministries- 2 slices of buttered toast. One piece of which was an end piece.
The bane of my child's existence is a piece of bread with the crust still attached. So, you can imagine the sheer happiness she felt when one whole piece of her toast was nothing but crust. Absolute joy.
Anyhow, after she picked and licked and chewed little pieces from the center, her plate was full of crumbs. Crumbs that I didn't want all over my already nasty vehicle. So, as we pulled to the front of the school I simply said, "Brooke, please carry your paper plate of crumbs with you and throw it away."
Y'all... you would have thought I just sprouted six clueless heads and told the child to take a ten pound sack of trash with her. She wanted no part of carrying a paper plate of crumbs up to the front of her school.
I'll tell you the rest of the story tomorrow.
But, I made the choice to progress past my typical response and it was good.
Okay sisters, make some progress today and come back and tell me about it. Remember, one good choice ---- it starts with just one good choice!
I really wish learning to tame our raw emotions could come in three easy steps. Be mild. Don't yell. Exert self-control.
Sounds nice.
But learning to navigate raw emotions isn't a step by step process. For me, it's more like pealing back the layers of an onion and honestly dealing with whatever I find. If I find ugly there, I have to see it for what it is, call it what it is, and make the choice to progress or regress.
Opportunities to progress or regress don't come in tidy times of complete rationality. They come in the midst of hard situations.
Patience is birthed through situations that beg us to be impatient. Gentleness is birthed in situations that beg us to be angry. Courage is birthed through situations that beg us to be afraid.
Each time we feel a raw emotion coming to the surface it's an opportunity to either fall back into patterns that make us wallow in guilt or choose more wisely and make progress.
"Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil," (Ephesians 4: 26-27).
There are three things that jump out to me with these verses. First, it's not wrong for me to feel a raw emotion- in this case anger. Remember when I talked last week about feelings being indicators but not dictators? I think this verse reiterates that perfectly. It is possible to feel a raw emotion but not let it carry me to a place of full blown craziness.
Secondly, the sun going down on your anger part reminds me the most healthy way to deal with a raw emotion is to not let it fester. There is absolutely a place to walk away and cool down when we feel all tangled up inside. But, raw emotions deferred too long will ferment into bitterness, resentment, and magnified raw emotions. Basically, they rot and everyone can smell their stink.
Lastly, the 'give the devil no opportunity part.' This is the part of this verse that really grabbed my collar and in the best way got all in my face. When I let my emotions carry me to a place of wild responses, it's like I hand the devil the key to my heart and say, "Come on in and ransack all I hold dear. You can't take up permanent residence here but feel free to stay a while and smear my pastel world with the darkness of shame, guilt, and condemnation."
This visual makes me shutter.
And it makes me hyper aware that I don't just fall willy nilly into hard situations. Satan often schemes me to a place where raw emotions feel so enticing I want to give in and hand him that key.
In a logical moment I wouldn't give Satan the time of day. But let those raw emotions start churning, pulling me into irrationality and it's sad what kind of opportunities I freely afford him.
But sisters, let me sprinkle some hope around this morning. Today is a new day. And just because we've been making some stinky choices in the past while feeling like a slave to those raw emotions- we can change! We are only one choice away from freedom. So, let's make the choice today to progress instead of regress.
Yesterday I drove Brooke to school. On the way she ate her gourmet breakfast handmade by the president of Proverbs 31 Ministries- 2 slices of buttered toast. One piece of which was an end piece.
The bane of my child's existence is a piece of bread with the crust still attached. So, you can imagine the sheer happiness she felt when one whole piece of her toast was nothing but crust. Absolute joy.
Anyhow, after she picked and licked and chewed little pieces from the center, her plate was full of crumbs. Crumbs that I didn't want all over my already nasty vehicle. So, as we pulled to the front of the school I simply said, "Brooke, please carry your paper plate of crumbs with you and throw it away."
Y'all... you would have thought I just sprouted six clueless heads and told the child to take a ten pound sack of trash with her. She wanted no part of carrying a paper plate of crumbs up to the front of her school.
I'll tell you the rest of the story tomorrow.
But, I made the choice to progress past my typical response and it was good.
Okay sisters, make some progress today and come back and tell me about it. Remember, one good choice ---- it starts with just one good choice!
Home