Well, the computer died y'all.
It did.
And while I had a little meltdown on Sunday and had to apologize to everyone in my house including my dog, I woke up Monday morning and made the choice to have a different attitude. Being frustrated and weepy weren't helping to fix my computer. It was just doing damage in other areas of my life.
So, I decided to just take the next logical step in front of me and stop worrying about all the details and the what if's.
There was such peace just taking one step at a time.
The next logical step was to talk to someone who knows a lot more about computers than me. Key word there 'talk'. I'll be honest, before I got on the phone with him I had to remind myself it would do no good to go into a full blown ugly cry with him.
This happens to me sometimes. I'm not a crying kind of gal but sometimes the ugly cry sneaks out at the most inappropriate times. It's usually when I'm feeling overwhelmed with details I don't understand.
I did it in Walmart 7 years ago when trying to find hair products for my then newly adopted African sons. I threw myself at a kind African American stranger and in complete desperation said, "Help me be a good African mama... pleeeeeeease."
I'm sure she thought I was one fry short of a happy meal.
And I'm pretty sure that's what the computer guy thought when he asked me basic questions about my computer and I said, "I don't know. I just turn it on and use it. I've never paid attention to what operating system I use."
But at least the ugly cry didn't sneak out. See, I'm making progress. And progress is good.
I am also happy to report that I kept myself quite entertained during the 7 hours I sat with the computer guy and his grown son in a little shed workshop in his garage. I'll admit when I first walked in and saw a hack saw hanging on the wall that I started thinking of the 48 hours mystery show they'd do where the investigators find me in his freezer.
See- being on the verge of that ugly cry thing goes hand in hand with irrational thoughts y'all.
But the hack saw stayed put on the wall and all was well. We talked about what I do and why I needed my computer so desperately. He wanted to know if I'd saved anybody that day. He's not much into religion but he did know that term. I appreciated his attempt to step into my world and try to understand this crazy woman who also didn't you are supposed to clean out your e-mail sent box every now and then.
Hello 5,000 messages. Hello clogged e-mail system.
He asked me if I realized e-mail systems were supposed to be mailboxes not filing cabinets. I loved his word picture and will think about it every time I'm tempted to save everything just in case and just because.
At the end of the day he saved my pictures, most of my word documents, and part of my e-mail system. He sold me his mini computer he'd just ordered and received from Dell and loaded my stuff for me. And he told me I was a kind lady.
Kind.
The lady who'd had a melt down the night before. The lady who worried about that hack saw. The lady who hours earlier had been on the verge of the ugly cry. The lady who still doesn't know what he means by operating system. He told me I was kind.
I love my Jesus who can take a neurotic feeling woman and shine kindness through her still.
"And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast," 1 Peter 5:10.
I would hardly call having a computer crash suffering. But it was painful. And while going through it I kept wondering what I was supposed to learn from this- I do that with a lot of the things I face. But at the end of the day I don't think I was supposed to learn as much as I was supposed to see.
See my own propensity for ungodly reactions.
See how God restores even when things don't get fixed the way we had hoped.
And see that a computer meltdown is a small exchange for God to make me more strong, more firm and more steadfast.
Now, if only He'd remove my propensity toward the ugly cry.
I'll post winners tomorrow from last week's contest. Happy day~
It did.
And while I had a little meltdown on Sunday and had to apologize to everyone in my house including my dog, I woke up Monday morning and made the choice to have a different attitude. Being frustrated and weepy weren't helping to fix my computer. It was just doing damage in other areas of my life.
So, I decided to just take the next logical step in front of me and stop worrying about all the details and the what if's.
There was such peace just taking one step at a time.
The next logical step was to talk to someone who knows a lot more about computers than me. Key word there 'talk'. I'll be honest, before I got on the phone with him I had to remind myself it would do no good to go into a full blown ugly cry with him.
This happens to me sometimes. I'm not a crying kind of gal but sometimes the ugly cry sneaks out at the most inappropriate times. It's usually when I'm feeling overwhelmed with details I don't understand.
I did it in Walmart 7 years ago when trying to find hair products for my then newly adopted African sons. I threw myself at a kind African American stranger and in complete desperation said, "Help me be a good African mama... pleeeeeeease."
I'm sure she thought I was one fry short of a happy meal.
And I'm pretty sure that's what the computer guy thought when he asked me basic questions about my computer and I said, "I don't know. I just turn it on and use it. I've never paid attention to what operating system I use."
But at least the ugly cry didn't sneak out. See, I'm making progress. And progress is good.
I am also happy to report that I kept myself quite entertained during the 7 hours I sat with the computer guy and his grown son in a little shed workshop in his garage. I'll admit when I first walked in and saw a hack saw hanging on the wall that I started thinking of the 48 hours mystery show they'd do where the investigators find me in his freezer.
See- being on the verge of that ugly cry thing goes hand in hand with irrational thoughts y'all.
But the hack saw stayed put on the wall and all was well. We talked about what I do and why I needed my computer so desperately. He wanted to know if I'd saved anybody that day. He's not much into religion but he did know that term. I appreciated his attempt to step into my world and try to understand this crazy woman who also didn't you are supposed to clean out your e-mail sent box every now and then.
Hello 5,000 messages. Hello clogged e-mail system.
He asked me if I realized e-mail systems were supposed to be mailboxes not filing cabinets. I loved his word picture and will think about it every time I'm tempted to save everything just in case and just because.
At the end of the day he saved my pictures, most of my word documents, and part of my e-mail system. He sold me his mini computer he'd just ordered and received from Dell and loaded my stuff for me. And he told me I was a kind lady.
Kind.
The lady who'd had a melt down the night before. The lady who worried about that hack saw. The lady who hours earlier had been on the verge of the ugly cry. The lady who still doesn't know what he means by operating system. He told me I was kind.
I love my Jesus who can take a neurotic feeling woman and shine kindness through her still.
"And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast," 1 Peter 5:10.
I would hardly call having a computer crash suffering. But it was painful. And while going through it I kept wondering what I was supposed to learn from this- I do that with a lot of the things I face. But at the end of the day I don't think I was supposed to learn as much as I was supposed to see.
See my own propensity for ungodly reactions.
See how God restores even when things don't get fixed the way we had hoped.
And see that a computer meltdown is a small exchange for God to make me more strong, more firm and more steadfast.
Now, if only He'd remove my propensity toward the ugly cry.
I'll post winners tomorrow from last week's contest. Happy day~
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