A few months ago, I got to spend some time with a lady named Pam.
She’s a snappy senior executive for Nike with two kids who could have her picture beside the word “beautiful” in the dictionary. She’d read my book “What Happens When Women Walk in Faith” and decided to ask me to speak at her church.
As Holly and I got to know her during the booking and event planning process, she shared with us bits and pieces of the tragedy she was living through with her husband. Sean was slowly dying.
He’d been diagnosed six years ago with a rare disease that caused part of his brain to atrophy. Slowly he lost his mobility, his memory, and eventually all ability to function on his own. Every day her life consisted of working full time, taking care of two teenagers, and spending time caring for her husband who may or may not be able to communicate with her.
She asked if I ever saw the movie “The Notebook.” It was like that. Sometimes he came back to her for fleeting moments. And then as quickly as a summer breeze sneaks up on you, his disease would draw black curtains over his mind and he’d be gone.
Six years.
Six years of wheelchairs, adult diapers, complicated medicines, horrific medical bills, and watching the love of your life slip into a shell of a person. By the time he died earlier this year, this strapping, athletic, young, muscular, smart, rising executive, Jesus loving, charming, love of her life was a mere 80 pounds.
I can hardly wrap my brain around all Pam has been through the past 6 years.
When I asked her about some of the life lessons she learned from all she’d been through, she was quick to say something that will forever stick with me. “When people are going through hard life circumstances, don’t say to them…If there’s anything you need just let me know.”
Pam couldn’t think about how she was going to get through the next ten minutes some days. Much less be able to think of ways for others to help. Plus, it’s hard to ask for help.
I won’t soon forget Pam’s words.
I pray I never forget them.
Instead, I will be challenged to put myself in Pam’s shoes and do whatever I might need done.
Deliver dinner. Get her car and take it to be cleaned, filled with gas, and serviced if needed. Get my son to mow her grass. Pick up an extra gallon of milk, lunch box items for her kids, or pet food from the grocery store.
Whatever… be it big or small. Just do it. I won't ask ‘if I can help…’ rather, I'll just step in and do something.
Is there someone in your life today that could use a small touch of care? Why not do something… anything. And if they ask why, tell them there was this amazing man named Sean with an amazing wife named Pam who once taught you a beautiful lesson.
And don’t be surprised if you feel this sense that heaven is smiling down on you after that… from what Pam shared, Sean was just the kind of guy who could make that happen.
Home