I'm all confused and slightly bent out of shape. I thought only my children could do this to me, but since they are all gone I have no one to blame but the Dept. of Motor Vehicles.
Seeing as my 40th birthday is fast approaching next month they decided to send me a little happy birthday card. Actually a post card that was neither happy nor little.
Apparently, I need to renew my license because I am getting old. Like the verse I found this morning while trying to find a better attitude in the 37th Psalm- verse 25, "I was young and now I am old." Don't tell me the Lord doesn't have a sense of humor.
And don't mock me for spending an unusual amount of time trying to pick out a pill organizer at the Target the other day.
Heavens to Betsy, the choices. They about wore me slap out. I didn't have my 17 juice plus, fiber, cranberry, chaste berry, Omega 3 fish something, and something else from bees that's supposedly wonderful for you- pills. So, trying to cup my hand and see if the individual slots could contain all my healthy goodness was stressful.
I wanted to throw myself across the check out counter near the pharmacist and plead, "For the love of all that's good in this world, let me rip open this here pill organizer and have 17 of one of your pills so I can see if they fit in the one day slot. And if they could be nerve pills that would be a total bonus because these pill organizers you sell are getting on the last good nerve I have."
But I'm glad I saved my one time to throw myself across some counter for this month.
Because the DMV deserves my dramatics so much more.
Here's the jest of their not so happy birthday wish for me:
- You should start the process of getting your license renewed 6 months prior to the expiration date. Seeing as I am I the woman who forgot to pick up her children at camp a few years ago, I'm guessing I'm not a plan ahead kind of gal.
- In the fine state of North Carolina they no longer give you your license the day you apply for it. To protect your identity they mail it later. Because we all know that a license floating around the postal service is so much more protected than simply handing it to me over the counter. The counter which I want to fling myself across.
-Because of the delay that said mailing takes and because it is in fact illegal to drive around with an expired license, makes it crucial to start this process months in advance.
-How special that they sent me all this info less than 30 days before my license expires.
-But it gets even better. You can not get a Driver's License unless you have a social security card with your correct name printed on it. Of course not.
And of course I have my card with my maiden name on it. I used to have a card with my married name on it but it somehow sprouted legs and walked out of my file. The one time in my life I need this little blue card, and it decides I've strung him along too long and he's just not that into me.
-So, before I can fling myself across the counter at the DMV and explain the break up I just experienced with my social security card, I have to visit another counter.
At my social security office.
Where they don't hand you a card over the counter either. Of course not. Though they tell you to protect your social security card with your very life- they happily hand it over to the postal service and let it roam free for days.
I still don't let my sons roam free in a store. And they are 20 and 21 years old. Do you know the amount of anxiety that is being caused by the roaming free of my social security card and my driver's license?
- And last but certainly not least, the not so happy birthday card from the DMV informed me that during the months of July and August their offices are to be avoided at all cost because of the unusually high demand for license renewals.
- But of course. However, I have a plan to keep my marital bliss in check whilst standing around for hours at the Social Security office and the DMV. I plan to figure out how to use one of my kid's ipods and listen to this song while singing out loud much to the delight of all the government workers I am sure.
I think I'll even smack some gum while singing.
And busy myself by filling up my new pill organizer.
UPDATE:
To my new BFF's at the DMV. Thank you from the bottom of my unnecceasrily stressed out heart. My experience with you today was wonderful. Even though I had no clue I had to take the sign test. I am obviously 'sign name' challenged but you were so patient.
And you did not judge me for looking like a complete and utter mess during my photo session with you. You see, I found my Social Security Card right before leaving to go get a replacement card. I squealed in utter delight and ran out the door to come visit with you. It never crossed my mind that this photo would be my constant identification companion for the next 8 years.
Who goes to get their license photo taken with hair that is not only greasy but lumpy to the point it is obvious to all said hair has been up in a ponytail for an unusual amount of time?
Me.
We rednecks always look past appearance indescresions like these. We just want to know if our tractors look good. And our hound dogs.
Who cares about the photo I will share with more people than I care to think about right now.
Anyhow, I am also so thankful to you, DMV, for delaying the new process of mailing people's licenses to them until next week. What timing!
So, I will be back in the year 2017. Only next time, I will wash my hair before our little reunion.
Home