Don't get paralyzed by pornography

Sweet Sisters-

I know this is a heavy subject but as you can see from the heart ache woven throughout the comments yesterday, it is, unfortunately, necessary.

A big thank you to Clay Crosse. Clay, I so appreciate you sharing your heart, insights and advice today. What a gift to us to have a man so openly answering our questions. Thank you!

One thing I feel I must share sisters is don't get paralyzed by this issue. Yes, pornography is big but we serve a much bigger God who is ABLE to help anyone rise above this pit. Keep praying sisters! Keep praying.

Ask God to make you wiser than you've ever been. Ask Him to show you any open doors of help you are supposed to walk through. (A great first door might be to order Clay or Renee's books by clicking here.) And ask God daily to help you see that Satan is the enemy here- not your husband.

Don't be a woman of accusation, be a woman of prayer who is not afraid to do battle on behalf of her husband- her sons- and herself in the spiritual realm. It's time to fight sisters! Fight for those you love so dearly.

And fight against the bitterness and hopelessness than can so easily go hand in hand with this messy issue.

I love you sisters. That's why I think these posts are crucial to address. And please know I am praying for each of you.

Now, here's Clay's wife, Renee~

“We Need to Talk…”

What is it about the sound of those words? When I hear them, I automatically hear ominous music playing in my head. The words are usually followed up with bad news. Or at least, that’s my personal experience.

Such was my experience with them in the summer of 1998. Clay turned to me as we sat in church and asked me to get a babysitter for our girls, because "We need to talk." See what I mean?

Clay and I spent that afternoon in the family room of our home. It was that day that Clay confessed to me his struggle with pornography. To say that I was shocked is an understatement.

I knew that God was dealing with Clay about something, but I never expected it to be, pornography. I was so confused and angry. But just as quickly as the anger arose, another emotion came into my heart and mind. I blamed myself.

If he were satisfied, why would he need that material? Satan was seeking to destroy! He was going after my husband with this secret sin, and he was going after me, filling my head with doubt, anger, blame, and fear.

Clay told me that he had rededicated his life to Christ and wanted to come clean about this sin and he was asking me to forgive him. What I have come to realize in the years that followed this moment, is that the porn was just a symptom, not the problem.

The problem was a Christian man not fully committed to the Lord. Clay began to draw closer to God through his rededication, and I saw the impact that had on his
life.

I forgave Clay when he asked but it took years to heal and rebuild trust. Clay started meeting with an accountability partner and studying his Bible like never before. I saw growth in my husband’s life.

Through this season of our life, God allowed us to write a book sharing our testimony. “I Surrender All- Rebuilding a Marriage Broken by Pornography”.

I have to admit, it would be a lot more fun being the poster children for “Got Milk” but God had a different poster that he wanted us to stand in front of.

Psalm 34:5 states, "Those who look to the Lord are radiant, their faces are not covered in shame." While there is shame in the sin, the victory comes when you release this to Jesus.

God has also allowed me to write a Bible Study for women. “Reclaiming
Stolen Intimacy-When Your Marriage is Invaded by Pornography.” It’s designed to be completed in a small group setting but individuals can also complete the study on their own.

I don’t pretend to have all the answers to this problem. And, it is surreal to see that God has opened up the doors for us to develop a ministry, holyhomes.org.

Through this ministry, Clay and I speak to Christian homes about the importance of being set-apart and holy. So much of our teaching and conferences have very little to do with pornography, but we always tell our testimony.

Why? Because we hear from hundreds of families who are being torn apart by this sin. We must continue to tell of the victory we have experienced and what God has done in our marriage.

He stands ready to do the same for you.

Renee Crosse, is the wife of Christian Recording Artist, Clay Crosse. They have 4 children and reside in Arlington, TN. She is a speaker and author and co-founder of HolyHomes Ministries.

Thank you, Renee, for sharing your hurt, your hope, and your healing journey. Just like yesterday, feel free to ask Renee questions today in the comments. And of course, you may post your comment as anonymous.