Sometimes being in ministry is stinkin' hard. Bare with me through a few essential details to understand what I mean.
Yesterday was a full day.
I had to give Mark a little talkin' to about why it's important to remember to turn the stove top off when he finishes cooking soup. He remembered to remove the pot. He even remembered to rinse the pot out after eating his soup straight from said pot. But the flame--- the flame! The flame burned unsupervised for many hours. Mercy!
Jackson is knee deep in college applications and the world of possibilities that stretch out before him. Still a boy, yet very much a man. And still scratching his head when I tried to explain how crucial it is to get the correct Weight Watcher chocolate cakes and Slim Fast fudge bars from the grocery--- because you do NOT mess with a dieting woman's food for heaven's sake.
Brooke admitted she lost her toothbrush and has been using her finger--- for a week. (Insert a mom gagging here.)
Hope needed me to help edit her paper on the novel "Animal Farm." There should be a law against moms having to try and comprehend books about animals that have strong political parallels with the Russian Revolution and other historical situations. The complexity made my brain throb.
Ashley is at a major cross roads. Her gymnastics injury still hasn't healed enough for her to get back into the sport she loves. This is huge in her little world and she needs help navigating through the probable loss of something she loves doing.
Combine all this with a run to Target. A run to the grocery. Another run to the grocery because all brain cells were left sitting on the counter next to the list that got left at home. And five loads of laundry--- and you have a day filled with choices to love those right in front of me while hundreds of e-mails sat unanswered.
Hundreds of e-mails that may sit unanswered tomorrow and the next day as well.
It's not that I don't want to answer all those e-mails. It's not that I don't love and care for and desire to touch all those lives being lived on the other side of cyber world.
It's just that I'm in a season where I've had to make peace with not being able to be all things to all people so that I can be a mom to some really important little people.
People that need a new toothbrush and reminders to turn the stove off. People that need to be told they are loved to the moon and back--- that they are loved more than all those e-mails.
Yet, in making those choices, I inevitably become a disappointment to other people.
This past weekend, I got an anonymous comment here on the blog under my contact me page that stung. It read:
"Lysa, I have heard you speak and your story really touched my heart. I sent you a note and I didn't ever get a response. You don't even read your own emails...your assistant takes care of them and she doesn't even respond? Your story is great, your cause is great, it unfortunate to see that you have gotten bigger than all of it. Books and events will never replace the impact you can make with a little personal attention. Thank you."
Oh dear anonymous friend, please understand, it is not because I am bigger that I haven't responded yet. It is because I make choices everyday to keep my heart in the small, wonderful, place called my home.
God has called me to share my story but please know, I am a flawed woman.
I share my story to lead people to Jesus---not to lead people to me. Jesus is the only One able to lavish people with personal attention tailor made for each and every soul.
Please know that I read and treasure every e-mail I get. But in this season of my life, answering every e-mail is something I've had to let go of--- so I can hold on to my priority blessings while they still need their momma.
Oh dear friend, I pray this post helps you understand ~
Yesterday was a full day.
I had to give Mark a little talkin' to about why it's important to remember to turn the stove top off when he finishes cooking soup. He remembered to remove the pot. He even remembered to rinse the pot out after eating his soup straight from said pot. But the flame--- the flame! The flame burned unsupervised for many hours. Mercy!
Jackson is knee deep in college applications and the world of possibilities that stretch out before him. Still a boy, yet very much a man. And still scratching his head when I tried to explain how crucial it is to get the correct Weight Watcher chocolate cakes and Slim Fast fudge bars from the grocery--- because you do NOT mess with a dieting woman's food for heaven's sake.
Brooke admitted she lost her toothbrush and has been using her finger--- for a week. (Insert a mom gagging here.)
Hope needed me to help edit her paper on the novel "Animal Farm." There should be a law against moms having to try and comprehend books about animals that have strong political parallels with the Russian Revolution and other historical situations. The complexity made my brain throb.
Ashley is at a major cross roads. Her gymnastics injury still hasn't healed enough for her to get back into the sport she loves. This is huge in her little world and she needs help navigating through the probable loss of something she loves doing.
Combine all this with a run to Target. A run to the grocery. Another run to the grocery because all brain cells were left sitting on the counter next to the list that got left at home. And five loads of laundry--- and you have a day filled with choices to love those right in front of me while hundreds of e-mails sat unanswered.
Hundreds of e-mails that may sit unanswered tomorrow and the next day as well.
It's not that I don't want to answer all those e-mails. It's not that I don't love and care for and desire to touch all those lives being lived on the other side of cyber world.
It's just that I'm in a season where I've had to make peace with not being able to be all things to all people so that I can be a mom to some really important little people.
People that need a new toothbrush and reminders to turn the stove off. People that need to be told they are loved to the moon and back--- that they are loved more than all those e-mails.
Yet, in making those choices, I inevitably become a disappointment to other people.
This past weekend, I got an anonymous comment here on the blog under my contact me page that stung. It read:
"Lysa, I have heard you speak and your story really touched my heart. I sent you a note and I didn't ever get a response. You don't even read your own emails...your assistant takes care of them and she doesn't even respond? Your story is great, your cause is great, it unfortunate to see that you have gotten bigger than all of it. Books and events will never replace the impact you can make with a little personal attention. Thank you."
Oh dear anonymous friend, please understand, it is not because I am bigger that I haven't responded yet. It is because I make choices everyday to keep my heart in the small, wonderful, place called my home.
God has called me to share my story but please know, I am a flawed woman.
I share my story to lead people to Jesus---not to lead people to me. Jesus is the only One able to lavish people with personal attention tailor made for each and every soul.
Please know that I read and treasure every e-mail I get. But in this season of my life, answering every e-mail is something I've had to let go of--- so I can hold on to my priority blessings while they still need their momma.
Oh dear friend, I pray this post helps you understand ~
91 Comments:
Grace to you, my friend...no book line would ever be too long to keep me from saying hi to you!!!
Those little blessings (and many, many women) are being blessed in a mighty big way because of your sacrifice.
Praying His grace, love and acceptance over you today. Also praying for anonymous...May God touch you in a deep place.
In ministry I have learned two things...There is always someone out there looking to be offended...and it has nothing to do with you. Secondly, you can't please everyone. I am so thankful for your ministry and this blog, because it does show us you deal with all the same "problems" we all do...struggling to do it all. If you don't take care of those babies and nurture them...then who will? Praying for God's peace, wisdom and grace for you.
Hi Lysa!
I feel for your reader who feels slighted but you are absolutely making the right call.
I sometimes don't get back to my closest friends and I am not a published author, speaker and business woman, on top of the many hats that we have to wear at home.
Each of us has to build a fence of protection around our time. Sometimes for emergencies you can open the gate, but the goal is to keep it locked as much as possible.
I hope you did not take offense at the remarks, and that you understand that we love you!
Happy Tuesday ~
Shannon
Lysa,
Thank you for always keeping it real, for wearing Jesus well and for setting the example of putting our families first above our minsitry, you are in my prayers my friend, keep doing what your doing, point away, Jesus shines through your choice.
Lysa~ The fact that you put your family first is exactly why we love you so much! Keep on keepin' on, girlfriend...you ROCK! I appreciate SO MUCH what you ARE able to do....Don't ever apologize for not doing more. You are making a difference no matter what others might say or think. Anyway, hope this makes sense. Blessings to you and yours! Nan
I *heart* your blog and think you are great. I can't imagine how busy you are with 5 kids, and both you and your husband working in & outside your home. As you would say, Mercy! I can barely email one person, and my baby isn't here yet; receiving gobs of emails must be overwhelming. I think it is amazing that you even have the time to read them all, in addition to the comments on your blog, etc., etc. Let not your heart be troubled! You totally made me laugh with your daughter brushing her teeth with her finger. God bless.
I will pray that "anonymous" understands too. I am already awed that all of you do all that you do with young families. Absolutely those little people need to come before anyone and everyone who lives outside your walls.
I've been criticized for not being a better partner in my DH's ministry because I've been in a season of making the choice to keep my heart (and time and attention) close to home. Well, it's not really even been a choice; it's been an act of obedience as I've followed his clear leading. But, God seems to be leading me to head toward some new ministry opportunties (based on Proverbs 31 even), and I am already wondering how I will open my borders to include these endeavors when I feel so inadequate with what He's given me to do already.
In my season "on the shelf" though, I have seen that He does speak clearly about what I need to do and what I don't. I hope I will continue to hear him and be obedient even as you are an example of that to us.
I am sorry someone's feelings were hurt, but you can only do what you can do. One of the hardest parts of ministy is knowing you can't meet all the needs and be all things to all people. But, as Keith Green said, "You keep doing your best and pray that its blessed and He'll take care of the rest."
Dear Lysa: You are making the right choice. Your heart is being led by His Holy Spirit. You are indeed honoring God by putting Art and your cherubs first. Serving Him by serving them. Be encouraged. I have your "Audience of One" (from one of your books) taped inside of my kitchen desk cabinet. Thank you for pleasing Him first.
Your "Walk By Faith" book talks all about honoring Him. Thank you for living that out by honoring Him with your priorities.
Thank you for pointing others to Him, not to yourself.
Being Led by His Spirit.
Pleasing Him.
Hooring Him.
Pointing others to Him not you.
For all of these reasons, your heart will filled with His peace, your conscience will be clear before Him, your life will continue to bear fruit for Him and He will continue to be glorified through you.
May He give your personal treasures in your heart today just from Him to you.
And may He do the same for sweet Anonymous. And may Anonymous know how much He loves her today, and He knows every detail of her heart and life.
Everyone has choices and yours are right on! Keep those the Lord has placed in your care at the top! Have a blessed day! You're doing a GREAT job!
Lysa,
I am amazed that you even have time to do this blog everyday! I am so thankful for your ministry. You are such an example of the Proverbs 31 woman who also put her family first.
wow Lysa.
In ministry I find I can not please everyone. And my family must come first. You are a mom and that alone is a very busy ministry.
you also touch so many with how real you are on your blog. Thank you for your daily, honest and real posts. Thank you that you are showing us that home and husband and children are more important.
I hope anonymous will look to God to fill her needs and not you.
Dear Father,
I pray right now for Lysa as she continues down the path you have chosen for her, while obeying You in the choices she is making. Father, please keep her mind and heart content on Your Word and Your guidance today. Please bless her for the hard choices she is making in ministry and in her home.
Lord, we just thank You for being the One who lavishes that personal love on each of us. Thank You for disappointing us with people...so that we will cling to You. Thank You for the gift of our families and the joy they are to our lives. Help us never to look past them to a "better" ministry...as if there were such a thing.
Father, thank You that Your Word is our standard not other people. Help us to be poured out like a drink offering today in our homes and in the lives of those around us. But, may we listen closely to Your course today...and not that of those around us.
In Christ's Name...who gives us life to the FULL...amen.
Frances Worthington
Desert Flower Ministries
Yes Lysa, God First and your family. With no family, no stories, no sharing.
Thank You for your love and HIS is enough not yours. WE must look to him, not You.
I am crying as I write this. Tears of joy for the priorities you have placed in life and hold on to regardless of other's perceptions, and tears of sorrow for the pain and criticism your life invites surrendering to a spotlight that demands unfair perfection by others.
I know the longing of an "Anonymous" to be touched by a "name", yet how my heart aches for this one who hasn't clearly read, heard or seen the heart of your life.
It's for this, and many other reasons, my prayers for you continue and my love surrounds you in your ministry. Holding you in His arms today,
With love, prayers and hugs always,
Joy
Lysa,
Thanks for sharing this today. I too am dealing with some priority issues. I know what my priorities are I just have to step up and put them in order as you have. You are always an amazing encouragement.
The day will come when those babies are all an email or phone call away. Hold them in your arms while you can!
Paula G. <><
Lysa:
Just on my heart to share one more nugget with you.
My husband and I wholeheartedly support P31 because your desire is to keep God's Word pure, encourage women in the Word, and bring glory to Him and His name for what He has done and continues to do. And you, Lysa, do all of this in a very authentic and personally vulnerable way. (I love how Joyful so beautifully put it..."surrendering to the spotlight")
We also support P31 because we believe it is a Holy Spirit led ministry, not a personality-driven ministry. Life and fruit come from the Spirit. Personalities fail and in themselves bring no life.
We don't expect you to be perfect, but we know you are seeking the One who is Perfect.
Thank you.
So much love to you and all the gals at P31. And your families, too.
You keep on, keeping on! You're doing great! Thanks for taking time for us. You are a blessing.
I feel the hurt for you... Although, I am not in ministry I am sure that not connecting with people must be a hard part of it, but as you said you must keep the main thing the main thing (well, you didn't say it like that, but that is what I got out of it :)...
Actually, we all need to keep our main thing the main thing.
Blessings Lysa!!
I too got tears in my eyes while reading this. Lysa, your heart is right where it's supposed to be! The Lord has given you a ministry that is very time consuming.....and I realize that letters sometimes have to go unanswered. I feel like your blog each day is a letter to all of us. It's a personal touch from you! I love you and I love your heart. Keep rockin the world with the love of Jesus girly!! =)
Lysa,
Your FIRST ministry is you family and on't you dare let the enemy make you feel guilty for that!!!
My hubs just face a dilemma. OUr church decided to hold VBS the week that we always go on vacation with my family. And as the Pastor, he had to decide between family and church. I told him that I was fine with whatever he decided.
We're going on vacation!!!
Galatians 1:10 and please don't worry about responding to this!
Love ya!
Thanks Lysa, You answered my comment without even sending a personal email. I respect you for choosing your kids first and as I begin facing that choice more and more you are setting a wonderful example. Thank you and God bless! Jill
You have said much here today. And although personal contact is indeed craved by many a woman, it is the home where God calls us to first. Blessings sweet friend as you have your priorities in order.
Disappointment is hard, but if we placed our hope in you, it would be misplaced for certain. Jesus is where we find our hope and our strength and our encouragement. Sometimes He uses others to do it, sometimes He does it Himself.
Remember that there will always be naysayers...even when they don't understand what they are doing. Pray for this woman; but do not take on coat of guilt that she mistakenly/unmistakenly tried to throw at you.
Blessings,
Rebecca
Girl, I still have clean laundry waiting to be put away on my sofa from yesterday. I didn't get the kitchen cleaned or the living room vacuumed. I am caught up on my chronological Bible readings, on top of my Esther study but way behind on my CBS study. I did sneak away for lunch with a friend, pick my kids up from school and attend my oldest last basketball game of the season. I can not imagine having a growing ministry to stay on top of also. I don't know how you do it. I too, have always been amazed that you daily write on your blog. It takes me so darn long to type a response! Hang in there and keep doing the best that you can do. God will do the rest.
Lysa..I do hope that reader is "reading" today. She needs to "hear" this. That is the thing..you have to keep God first then your Family..then all the rest. People have got to understand that..that is what keeps you from getting BIGGER.
I understand...and hope you don't beat yourself up over that.
I'm so blessed by this blog and P31 ministries, Lysa. I don't know how all of you do what you do and still tend to everything at home! It's inspiring. Keep up the faithfulness and outstanding work :)
Thanks for just being you :)
Big Hugs,
Kate :)
When in the minisitry, one must understand that the family is the FIRST ministry. The other thing I'd like to remind each of us what the Bible says,(and this is a paraphraze) that we are to keep our eyes fixed on the Lord, not on man. Man is humn, at some point and time we will let someone down. I wish I could recall the scripture, but I am still on pain meds from my dental surgery yesterday. Another thing, the anonymous person, whether right or wrong, what she "feels" is her feeling. We cannot right or wrong it; but pray that the Lord would quicken her heart to turn to towrds Him, before Man (woman).
Thanks Lyssa, for always being real. It's a teasured trait!
Lysa, I love you and appreciate all that you do. Frankly, I kinda wonder sometimes if you ever have time to sleep! ;) Thanks for the priority reminder and for being a real, honest human - wrapped up in His grace.
Kim
very well said, dear friend!
Pamela in TX
Oh Sweet and Flawed Lysa:
Please do NOT respond to this comment! :)
I love what you said...you share your story to lead people to Jesus not you. Wow. So well-articulated.
Before reading this post, I spent the morning seeking God about the exact same issues in my life. I'm getting to the point where I spend way more time on the computer talking to people in cyber world than I spend looking at the people who live in my house. Literally.
Last week we had a power outage and I could not get on the computer for three days. Last night, my kids said they missed the power outage because I paid more attention to them and cuddled with them on the couch. Ouch. Never mind that it was 2 degrees outside and 50 degrees inside. Never mind that they couldn't play the Wii or watch Sponge Bob. Never mind that we had to shuffle into the bathroom all together wearing 4 layers of sweats, just to preserve body heat.
My kids loved that I wasn't distracted with the computer.
Today, I woke up with a new desire to reprioritize. And while I'm so thankful for the writing and teaching opportunities of late, nothing is more important to me than the other 4 people who live and breathe with me every single day.
I want my time to reflect that priority.
No condemnation here, my good and beautiful friend. I support you 100%. That is why I relate to you so well and why I will continue to be a Lysa TerKeurst Groupie. If you neglected your family to tend to your "ministry" I, for one, would find that very troubling.
Your flawed sister and friend,
Sandy
Oh, Lysa, my heart hurt as I read this. Hurt for you as I know you feel so tugged. Hurt for Anonymous who lashed out in her need of a human touch.
Yet I also rejoiced because I see your heart, which is dedicated to serving God and your family first and foremost even before the ministry He has given you. It amazes me the personal attention you do give people.
Remember that even Jesus didn't please everyone - or dance to their tunes - when He walked on this earth.
Sending you big hugs, and wishing I could bring you a big mocha!
Thank you for sharing and always being so transparent with your life and flaws.;) It helps to know I'm not in this beautiful, yet taxing, walk of motherhood alone! You help me laugh at myself when I need to laugh and press into Him when the times get a little rougher. Thank you for diligently seeking Him and His purpose for your life. For that, I am grateful and encouraged!
hlridge@hotmail.com
Lysa,
I stop here every day to read and rarely leave a comment because like you I am so very busy with life and ministry. Thank you for this post. I often feel terrible that I can't respond to all of my email from my ministry. I needed this.
Know that you are loved and I pray for you often. Lynn from Spiritually Unequal Marriage. Hugs, and have a great day.
Keep leading us to Jesus. It's his "well done" that I am running toward.
peace~elaine
It's hard to be judged by an "outsider" looking in, but when we give people a glimpse in our daily life, it happens.
At some point, you may actually need to turn over your email to Holly, to weed through. It happens. We're all human and only have 24 hours in a day.
You're making good use of yours. Keep it up.
Lysa, I know you feel the pressure and tugging to have a foot in both home and outreach ministry (what I call answering my emails, hah hah), but you can only do so much. And home always wins in my book. The little people and big man in your world need your love before we do.
You are *so* not a disappointment! You rock!!!!! Keep on keeping on.
Precious Lysa,
You may NEVER read this so I offer it as a prayer on your behalf:
Precious Father, Thank you for all that you are doing and have done through this surrendered sister. Thank you that you are helping her day by day to make the right choices, to keep her many ministries in order, inside her home and outside her home. Thank you that you see her when she lays on the floor of her bedroom and cries out for your help, your direction and your protection of her marriage, her children and her ministry.
Thank you Lord, that you see the details and the desires of Lysa's heart and her ultimate goal of honoring you and glorifying your name.
Give her peace today Lord, Bless her and restore her. Heal that tiny little tear that occurs when we disappoint someone, when we struggle against being misunderstood, when we long to be a reflection of your love at all times.
Pour Yourself upon her today God and FILL her to the brim with PEACE!!!
In the Holy Name of your Son, who was often misunderstood.
AMEN!!!
We love you sister (and Holly, we LOVE you too! Bless you for the part you play in this minsitry)
Pat
Stay with your heart Lysa-your family comes first! Our flaws make us real and I do not see unanswered e-mails as a flaw. A flaw would be a generic response to each one.
Be blessed this week!
In His Graces~Pamela
Dear Lysa,
I suggest that you place an automatic response to your email address acknowledging receipt, assuring you will personally read it, but due to life's ups and downs of blissful chaos, you will not be able to respond to most of the emails you get.
I love you, your blog and your story. You are an inspiration and a blessing in my life every day!!
I am a mother of 3, who works full time for someone else and I do not have time to respond to every email I get. I heart our Brownie Troop leader, but, I can not tell you the number of emails I have gotten that read something like "I haven't heard from you-don't want your daughter to miss out" sigh..... I don't want my daughter to miss out either. But, it seems that every day there is something burning on the stove and we are always knee deep in laundry!
Keep up the great work at home and in your ministry!
With all God's love,
Julie B
Dear Lysa,
I don't need a response.
I just love your blogs, It encourages me, to see someone deal with everyday issues like the rest of us and actual shares the same feelings and thoughts that we deal with all the time. Keep up the good work,
Peace and Joy always
Hi Lysa -
I have been thinking lately how I want to do big things for God, but that I need to make sure my definition of big things matches God.
I was convicted the other day that my primary calling is to love my husband and my children. That is a big thing God has called me to even if it doesn't seem very big from the world's perspective.
All that to say, keep doing what you are doing sister. Your primary calling is to your husband and children. Thanks for the good example.
Many Blessings,
Megan
Amen Lysa, Amen!!
I am in the "teenage years" with my boys...and it is harder than I ever expected. These years are so important to "be there" to listen & instruct--they are becoming adults. I have "pulled out" of all of my church activities and have received a lot of "flack" for it. Christians and the church REALLY need to support one another in the raising of our families!
Many blessings & prayers to you as you nurse your wounded heart from this e-mail. And prayers to anonymous--look to the Lord for your strength and encouragement not people as WE ALL WILL FAIL YOU!!
hugs and hang in there!
(my stove gets left on ALL the time, along with the toaster oven--what is that about anyhow?????)
No amount of money can buy back those moments, whether it's cooking, cleaning, mending broken hearts, - just being a momma. As I look back I wish that I had spent more time listening to my children - but time does not stand still and seasons pass - and your children do grow up - So in saying this do what you're doing. You help me by being you not someone that's a supermom. Just be you. Thanks a lot for that because you encourage me daily.
Sharron
"Amen!" to all of the comments other sweet sisters have left encouraging you to embrace your priorities and to keep on keeping on! It is sometimes so difficult to keep our boundaries set firmly in ministry; but you do a great job of modeling that for all of us.
I am praying that the needs of "anonymous's" heart are truly met in a deep way today. Not because of this post; but because of a true encounter with the lover of her soul.
Blessings & Peace to you & your family today!
Shanda
Please know that I do not mean to criticize. You have to do what you have to do, and absolutely your family comes first. But from someone who has reached out to others on the internet for help and guidance and never received a response (from several people), you can't help but feel rejected. As someone returning to Christ after a long absence, I had issues that I couldn't talk to with anyone I knew or I didn't know where to go for help. So I reached out to the only people I knew, who happened to be on the teachers/authors who had inspired me in the first place, but I was ignored (or at least it felt that way). Yes, your role is to lead people to Christ, but very few of us get there by just opening our bibles and sitting at our kitchen table by ourselves. Others lead us, show us where to look, encourage us when we feel like God is not hearing us, and provide Godly counseling. Maybe that isn't your role, but would it be possible for you to at least point us in the right direction? Oftentimes we just don't know where else to go for help.
I too am very thankful for this ministry. I agree with Putting The Best Thing First. We can't always please everyone as much as we would like. It does show us that you deal with all the same issues as everybody else. Your amazing.
Have a peaceful day!
Dear Baseball Mama,
Thank you for your honest comment and desire to know how to get started. I understand how you may feel ignored and I am so sorry about that. I think most of us would admit, we might feel the same way.
My heart's desire would be to walk beside every woman who wants to grow closer to the Lord. But in this season of my life, there just aren't enough hours in my day to make this a reality.
That's one reason, I write my daily blog. I see it as an opportunity to reach out and touch people in a personal way every day.
If you read my blog, I pray that somehow through the silliness and everydayness of it all, you've still been able to catch glimpses of spiritual mentoring as well.
I would also suggest you get connected with women in your church through ladies' Bible studies or small groups. While you may not feel ready to open up with them immediately--- I pray God will bring trsutworthy people across your path who can be a loving support and an empathetic voice of truth for you.
Sending hugs through cyber space~
Dearest Lysa,
Blessing on you today. Girl! I am in awe of all that you do, and am so very blessed and challenged by how you do all of it while keeping Jesus first. Next in line to Him, your family absolutely is (and should be) your first priority. No one can - or is called to - do it all. You are living out your calling and doing it well....not FOR the admiration of others, but IN our admiration.
I'm sorry I'm blabbering. I wish I could find the words to tell you (coherently) how much I love and admire you. You are awesome.
p.s. I'm secretly glad Brooke lost her toothbrush and didn't tell you....because that is EXACTLY something my own daughter would do! Thank goodness it's not just me! :)
Bless you, friend. Do what ya gotta do.
"It's just that I'm in a season where I've had to make peace with not being able to be all things to all people so that I can be a mom to some really important little people.". I love this comment. It is exactly where I am and I too, sometimes forget. Thank you for sharing your struggle and for staying focus!
Something I have learned from another well-known Bible teacher, is that in today's "cyber" world, we tend to create perceived relationships where real ones don't exist. We feel like we "know" the people who write blogs, books, do radio, etc, and because we think we know them so well, we feel like they are our friends, our confidants, our mentors....when that's not the case. In reality, we don't know them and they don't know us.
It is a blessing of God to be able to learn from such a huge array of godly people through tools like the internet. But often we separate ourselves from true, intimate friendships and try to replace them with text messages, websites, or blogs.
Even though Lysa has a national ministry, it just isn't possible for her to personally minister to every single woman who may "sit" under her teaching. No one can (or should try to be) all things to all people
How would any of us be able to work outside the home, maintain a marriage, raise FIVE children, build a relationship with God, run a national ministry, keep up with laundry, lunches, grocery shopping, sports, pets, school projects....AND respond to hundreds of emails every day?
Lysa
You can't worry about reading/answering every email. You do a great job at what God wants you to do. You're a fab mom, wife, and friend. Laundry and emails will always be there waiting; your kids won't. They grow up right before our very eyes. Don't miss a minute of it.
You are like my chicken soup. My chicken soup from Chick-fil-A that a friend is bringing to me as I am home sick with fever and sore throat. That soup, as yummy as it is, cannot be my soul source of nourishment, nor can it meet my every need. But for today, oh how soothing it will be. What a blessing for this worn out body.
And so you minister to me spiritually. You cannot be my source, but you sure do bring refreshing, perspective, and hope to so many days. And for that I thank you.
I know that God does indeed work all things together for good...and He even has a plan to use this misunderstanding and the hurt feelings to work out His ultimate good.
And I am not trying to simplify anyone's feelings by bringing chicken soup into this. Just thought of you as I told my friend what would taste good to me today! :)
Blessings to you as you continue to point us all to Jesus. Jesus and cute, yet comfortable shoes. :)
Lysa-
As a fellow speaker/author/mom in ministry, I echo your post!!!! I stress about not being able to connect with all of the gals who contact me, whether it is a quick friendly note I want to answer or a lengthy email where they pour out their heart and want difficult answers from me, an untrained mom. I wish I had time to answer them all promptly, but I just don't.
I have to tell myself often what I heard once, that no one on their death bed says, "I wish I'd spent more time at the office."
Continue to put your family first. People may not understand. However, God smiles.
Love ya sista' Karen
Lysa,
Praying for you. Even on a much smaller scale - I understand the pull between ministry and home. It is much easier now that I am an "empty-nester". But still will not be able to meet each need that comes my way.
You are right on track - your first and most important priority (other than your relationship with Your Savior) is to your husband and then your your children.
My husband always told our church - that his family came first. We always said that if we reached the whole world and lost our family in the process - that we had failed.
So, that all being said - know I am praying for you and your precious family. And then for your ministry and for God to give you wisdom to keep the right perspective and balance.
Love and Blessings,
DeeDee
P.S. On another completely different note - After teaching "What happens When Women say Yes to God" to over 80 women in our church during the fall semester, I have new ones stepping up to the plate and taking on new roles of leadership with our Women. They really "got it" and now are implementing it. Sweet.
Thank you my friend. (I sure hope I am able to come back to She Speaks again this year.)
You are doing a great job as a mother and in ministry....neither one is an easy task. Your "real-ness" and your love for the Lord cause people to want to connect with you.....I suppose that can be a blessing and other times cause stress.
I love that you have your priorities straight, but unfortunately when our priorities are in line, there will always be people who do not understand them.......such is life.
You keep on being true to what God has called you to do as a mother and in ministry....no one can be all things to all people all the time, but if they could, you would come as close as anyone!
I just wanted to stop by to say congratulations in the recognition of your blog with the Internet Cafe and may you continue to keep your heart close to the LORD that all that you write brings honor and glory to HIM. God bless you!
**PS - I remember going through this with a woman many years ago in my Women's Ministry. I gently shared with her what God shared with me, "These are not your people Lisa, they are mine just as you are mine". Often when God is using someone to be a blessing people begin to view them in a way that they really shouldn't because we're all HUMAN, flawed and imperfect and in need of rest and time with family but often people especially those who are hurting, forget that and need a lot of attention and they sadly become offended when you don't meet that expectation. Pray for them, love them and lead them back to JESUS who is the One they can always find every need met in. God bless you.
YOU are doing an awesome job. I love that you keep it real. My goodness, your post reminded me of something I wrote in my Bible after a Henry Blackaby study I did it said, "No amount of success in ministry can make up for failure at home".
Ouch. So true, though. So the other week when I cried and felt like poopie because someone left the SS class I teach after feeling neglected, I had to remind myself that "I CAN NOT DO IT ALL", that is why it is called a BODY of believers.
Heres to you knowing you limits. I am gonna pray for you not to feel guilt when things that sting come your way. Christ is freedom.
((((((((((((Lysa)))))))))) I am just going to offer a hug and a prayer for you!
More hugs and prayers for you, Lysa, and all the anonymous ladies out there that are seeking to be heard and loved. You are. If only we humans could do it the way God does it. Sweet blessings to all of your readers.
Lysa,
I will keep this short in respect of your time. :) Just wanted to thank you for your very honest post. It's easy to see someone in your position as some kind of "superwoman" rather than a real person...with a real family...living in real time...with limitations. I admire your very real and genuine blog today! God bless you for keeping your priorities in line with his!!!
Rachel
Amen girl! Pointing people to Jesus is always the right choice. When we make doing that at home our first priority, I believe God is well pleased and blessed. Thank you for helping us to see that God is in the mundane, even the laundry!!
Dear sweet Lysa, I am sure God will give anonymous what she needs in His timing. You just continue taking care of your primary ministry, your family. From the sound of that comment she might have other issues going on and you, unforutantely, got to be the target. You're not a savior, just a woman after God's own heart! Keep following that!
I don't have time to say all that I would like to say, but do let me say: Good job! Your answer was kind and yet to the point. I especially agree with the last paragraph. Thanks for a well written post.
Dear Lysa ~
Like most ladies on here have said, keep on keeping on! God knows your heart and your desires. Your desire to be the best mom in the world to those 5 children! To be the best wife you can be to Art. To be the best leader you can in your ministry. To be a child of Christ. No need to prove it to anyone else...here for sure! Continue to let God shine through you...that is all He asks of you anyways!
You are such an inspiration...even with your daily posts! And I love them every time!
Sweet Blessings,
Samina
Hey Lysa -
Thanks for sharing this honest post! It is good for me to read as I'm just getting started with a speaking ministry.
Not that I expect to be getting hundreds of emails a day...no no...but it's good for me to remember to keep my family first...ALWAYS!!
Also-I'm so excited because I just got your "What Happens when Women walk in Faith" book in the mail today...can't wait to read it!!
You are a blessing to my life...primarily because when I've heard you speak or read your book -I simply fall more in love with Christ!
Thanks for being used of Him in my life and in the lives of so many others!!
You're a dear! :)
Lysa, GOOD FOR YOU!! You have your heartfelt priorities straight. Yes, the reader who made this comment may very well be in need of your attention and care, as many may be at some point in their life, but you know who needs to come first in your life - your family. Our children are only young once and they so do need their mommas.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for this.
As a pastor's wife, I am also often confronted with the reality of the work, life, and ministry balance. There is no end to people's expectations, or honestly, my expectations of myself.
I had an eye-opening moment a few years ago when we were deep in a ministry to folks struggling with addiction. I had determined that I was going to be Christ to them in every way. But what I realized was that some of my motivation was my own pride. I wanted to be a central figure in their spiritual journey; I wanted to be part of their 'testimony'.
I eventually realized that in my own spiritual journey there was no one person who was THE profound impact on my life. God had placed people at different levels of their Christian walk in my life, some for a very short time, who had a profound impact. But I sensed that these people weren't overtly trying to touch my life, they were just being obedient, loving me as God's word instructed them, and seeking a deeper relationship with Him. My story was about how God acted in my life, not how other people acted in my life.
This epiphany helped me to see that I don't have to be everything to the people I work with in ministry. I have to first seek a deeper relationship with Jesus myself, do what he calls me to do, and trust him to work in others lives the way he worked in mine. He says He will. If my faith is worth anything, I must take him at his word.
Lysa,
I think all of the comments and your post covered things beautifully.
I will ask that if you have any suggestions on getting through "Animal Farm" that you would share them!! Ryan and Katie start that book next as soon as we finish
"Frankenstein"!!! We did have some fun with it, we watched "Young Frankenstein" today to do a contrast and comparison of the book and movie!!
Seriously, you are making the right choices and God is honoring them. It is an honor to be a small part of what you do.
Blessings,
Charlene
Lysa---Thank you for all that you do to touch so many people each and everyday! Your day sounded much like mine--I have 4 blessings from 15 down to 5! I have no idea how you get it all done. you set a great example by keeping your family first--it is a God example. Also we all need to go straight to Jesus--no one and nothing will ever be Jesus!! Blessings to you and prayers always.
Oh, it's so hard to be misunderstood! I feel for you! And I can relate on some level too. Praying for you right now!
Grace, grace, and more grace to you my friend. Lysa...just the fact that you get on here most every day to encourage us at all is BIG TIME. Thank you for every ounce of time and energy you spend for another.
Love you very much.
Elaine in TX
Exactly what I needed to hear today..priorities, priorities, priorities!! Please, Lord, help me keep mine ordered in the way that pleases you and honors you!
YES.
I cannot please everyone. OH. MY. GOSH. Learning to live with the fact that I disappoint people has been both really difficult and really freeing.
Well said, Friend.
O-kay, off to send you a long email... (heh heh heh)...
Love
Jess
you are blessed beyond measure in the fact that you realize what is really important. grace to you my sweet sister.
Grace, grace, grace, and peace, peace, peace is what I pray for you. I know at times I've craved a bit of your attention. You periodically stop by and give me a word of encouragement. That does wonders for me. But it would make me sad to think that Brooke or Ashley or Hope or Mark or Jackson or even Art were in need of something that you couldn't give them because you were involved with me. I cherish the bits I do get and wish that I could sit with so many of the P31 gang over a coke or coffee or whatever. My heart longs for that. But I know that He has given each of us a sphere of influence. Yours is both personal and public and a hard balance, I'm sure.
God first, family second, then friends, and then the rest of us in cyber-land. That's the way I see it even though I don't have the family obligations.
God entrusted you with that pack of a family. I'd rather you hug Brooke and read her a story then feel the need to read/write/talk to me. Last year at She Speaks, the welcome you gave me, was enough to fill a deep place in my soul.
May the rest of us have grace and may you get to snuggle with one of your gang.
ps. Will Brooke pray for my finances to all work out for a trip to She Speaks this year?
Lysa - being a mother is more important than answering all of those emails! Just remember WHO it is you're supposed to PLEASE! I know that doesn't take away the sting of the words left by "anonymous," but as long as you do what the Lord asks you to do, you've done your part. :) You are wonderful. I love your blog.
Beautifully, graciously, perfectly said, my friend.
Lysa,
Mercy and Grace to you and the Wonderful ministry and balancing act God gives you strength to maintain! Bless you, Bless you, Bless you! That you can blog and minister to us bloggy friends thru the little window into your daily life is just so inspiring. And your words were chosen so wisely to this person. Of course you are doing the right thing.... and God will send someone right along side that persons to minister to them. And we Praise Him in this circumstance too. Your family is your priority. We love you and I'm praying for you too...
Lysa,
Me again. I rarely (never!) read through comments from beginning to end. Can barely keep up with the blog posts. But I couldn't wait to go through and hear all the wisdom of all the women who encouraged you.
I need to be reminded of my priorities. As God grows my ministry, I pray I never forget this lesson. Even Jesus drew boundaries. Even Jesus (perfect as He was!) was criticized for slipping away when people "needed" Him.
Stay focused. Only do what God has called you to do today. Nothing more. Nothing less.
I'm so encouraged by this post again today. Thank you. Thank you.
Blessings to you and every woman who reads this blog and struggles with keeping all the balls in the air.
Sandy
I have to say you are a patient woman. I'm sure that you don't feel that way sometimes but you truely are a Godsend. Kudos for you for putting your family first! We truely do not receive God if we don't focus on the things that are most important. God bless and I hope you guys have fun on your upcoming cruise!
Lysa,
Yes, your family has to be first. You're still raising your kids, they need you and they'll be all grown up before you can turn around. We are all blessed beyond measure that you are sharing your life with us..but after Father, your ultimate responsibility is to your sweet family.
I'll miss seeing you on the cruise...I know you guys will have a blast!!!
Jeannie
Here's a quote from Our Daily Bread book devotional. Abraham Lincoln said "If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop would be closed for business. I do the very best I know how- the very best I can; & I mean to keep doing so until the very end..." Lincoln against huge opposition, went on to reunite the fractured United States, win the Civil War, and abolish slavery in the US. Had he allowed critics to defeat him, Lincon would not have accomplished what he did. Hope that helps! As you know, being a Proberbs 31 woman doesn't mean being able to do everything perfectly, and being everything to all. Lysa, I'm proud of you. You go, girl!
Wow Lysa. I'm so sorry you had that in your inbox. Josh and I are learning that we just CANNOT make everybody happy. We've learned that the people that EXPECT a reply have made contact for the wrong reasons and that is not our fault. We cannot possibly answer every e-mail and call that comes our way either in the most timely manner. We are slowly learning to prioritize our family and our ministry and you are a great example to me about how it is possible. You are doing a GREAT job. Your family would agree with me, I know!
In a ministry that reaches thousands of women, you are only one. We have to understand that. It's awesome that the women felt that she could be honest. Another sign that you've allowed many to slip into the inner circle of your heart and life. Thanks for all that you do, Miss Lysa.
{{{Lysa}}}
All I have for you sister, is peace. God bless!
"I share my story to lead people to Jesus---not to lead people to me."
Wow sister. Well said.
And sorry about that anonymous email I sent you.
(KIDDING!!)
Growing up my mom was the head of Women's Ministry for a large church. Sometimes I felt like the "needy" woman got more of my mom than I did. I didn't feel like that all the time, but it was hard when my mom had to deal with someone when I wanted her time.
SO....Thank you for choosing your family, they will remember it!
Lysa, you are a blessing . . . no matter what others may say. It's because you have made your priorities straight that you can minister in the way you do. Don't change a thing.
"I share my story to lead people to Jesus---not to lead people to me."
Beautiful reminder, Lysa. Rang very true in my heart, both as someone who longs to be poured into and mentored, and as someone who pours into and mentors many.
Absolutely beautiful reminder.
Lysa...totally understand where you are coming from...your #1 priority is your family!! We've got your back!!
Lynn
Currently we are on our 4th "Yes to God" blog study and twice now I haven't been able to share my thoughts on the chapter because of family stuff. They have to be on top of our human priority list...period. I would hope that if you ever got to the point that answering emails or anything else that ministry throws your way that if you put P31 above God and family that He would snatch it right out from under you. You are being trusted by the Almighty because He knows your hearts' priority list. I appreciate the time you took to respond to Anonymous and I hope she gets your heart.
And anyone who can run 13.1 miles with you is worthy to answer your emails if you need her to. ;)
Keep doing it Lysa...both at home and in the field cuz the way you choose to live life is making a positive difference...for instance,
"Yes to God" Tuesdays was birthed in my heart after reading your book...What Happens When Women Say Yes to God. :)
Love,
Lelia
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