Today I have a devotion running at Proverbs 31 about the dangers of having an emotional affair. Believe it or not, this is a terribly dangerous situation that haunts many women day in and day out.
Maybe it's a friend's husband- a guy at the office- a past boyfriend- or a guy at church. No matter who it is, what may seem so innocent at first can quickly lead to disaster.
We women were made for emotional connection.
Our DNA longs for that man who will sweep us off our feet and carry us into the sunset while acting like we are light as a feather. He says the right things at the right moments, has the tenderness of our best girlfriend but the manliness of the Marlboro man.
Although, since I'm allergic, he can't smoke like the Marlboro man. So, maybe that's not the best example. But you catch my drift.
We want that connection that makes us the star of our own Jerry McGuire moment where he proclaims, "you complete me."
That was a fine romantic moment.
So fine in fact it sort of ruined every real guy's response since then.
I mean imagine a less Hollywood scene. Hubs comes in from cutting the grass only to be asked to please change Jr's poopy diaper. I just can't see him quipping back, "Absolutely dear- you complete me."
Chances are, it's not going to happen.
But what could absolutely happen is that another man suddenly starts saying all those things that you wish hubs would say. He makes you feel good- fresh- alive- like putting on lipstick again.
And so you do.
And you start going out of your way to see him. And you like that he notices you. And you like what he says to you. And. And. And.
And suddenly, you're in trouble. Your husband can do no right. This other man can do no wrong.
The problem with this is that by the time you realize this other man also wakes up with morning breath, has traits that will grate on your nerves, and will stop saying "you complete me," it's often too late to reverse all the damage done in your marriage.
I once sat across the table from a friend who'd traded her marriage for someone she thought might be her "real soul mate." In tears she admitted it all started with simple emotional flirting. Now, she'd give anything to go back and make different choices.
This week, we've been talking about watching our words but it's equally important to watch our thoughts as well.
For where our thoughts go, our emotions will quickly follow.
Why not recapture some of those amazing thoughts we used to ponder about our husbands. You know the ones during those days where we doodled our first name with his last name on every spare napkin? Don't pretend like you didn't do that too!
Anyhow, let's take each of our thoughts captive today. Let's intentionally fill our minds with a list of all that our husband does right.
And then when he walks through the door tonight, let's throw our arms around that husband of ours and proclaim, "you complete me. I just had to make sure you knew that."
He'll totally pretend to look at you like you're crazy--- but deep inside he'll love it.
After all, the grass isn't greener on the other side- the grass is greener where we water and fertilize it.
Maybe it's a friend's husband- a guy at the office- a past boyfriend- or a guy at church. No matter who it is, what may seem so innocent at first can quickly lead to disaster.
We women were made for emotional connection.
Our DNA longs for that man who will sweep us off our feet and carry us into the sunset while acting like we are light as a feather. He says the right things at the right moments, has the tenderness of our best girlfriend but the manliness of the Marlboro man.
Although, since I'm allergic, he can't smoke like the Marlboro man. So, maybe that's not the best example. But you catch my drift.
We want that connection that makes us the star of our own Jerry McGuire moment where he proclaims, "you complete me."
That was a fine romantic moment.
So fine in fact it sort of ruined every real guy's response since then.
I mean imagine a less Hollywood scene. Hubs comes in from cutting the grass only to be asked to please change Jr's poopy diaper. I just can't see him quipping back, "Absolutely dear- you complete me."
Chances are, it's not going to happen.
But what could absolutely happen is that another man suddenly starts saying all those things that you wish hubs would say. He makes you feel good- fresh- alive- like putting on lipstick again.
And so you do.
And you start going out of your way to see him. And you like that he notices you. And you like what he says to you. And. And. And.
And suddenly, you're in trouble. Your husband can do no right. This other man can do no wrong.
The problem with this is that by the time you realize this other man also wakes up with morning breath, has traits that will grate on your nerves, and will stop saying "you complete me," it's often too late to reverse all the damage done in your marriage.
I once sat across the table from a friend who'd traded her marriage for someone she thought might be her "real soul mate." In tears she admitted it all started with simple emotional flirting. Now, she'd give anything to go back and make different choices.
This week, we've been talking about watching our words but it's equally important to watch our thoughts as well.
For where our thoughts go, our emotions will quickly follow.
Why not recapture some of those amazing thoughts we used to ponder about our husbands. You know the ones during those days where we doodled our first name with his last name on every spare napkin? Don't pretend like you didn't do that too!
Anyhow, let's take each of our thoughts captive today. Let's intentionally fill our minds with a list of all that our husband does right.
And then when he walks through the door tonight, let's throw our arms around that husband of ours and proclaim, "you complete me. I just had to make sure you knew that."
He'll totally pretend to look at you like you're crazy--- but deep inside he'll love it.
After all, the grass isn't greener on the other side- the grass is greener where we water and fertilize it.
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