Last weekend, Holly and I were in Nashville, TN. Home of country music, southern twang and the very hip and happenin' Annie Blogs. (See Annie far left and Katie B. far right.)
I spoke at the Pure Glory Conference in Dickson, TN. After the conference was over, Holly and I met up with Annie and her friend over some serious southern salsa and some slightly questionable Fajita Salads.
During our time together the conversation flowed freely about all sorts of things. Blogs. Writing. Leaving your comfort zone because God said so. Biscuits. Voices that sound funny.
And then we moved on to the subject of relationships and eventually landed on marriage.
Annie is not married yet. But, she would like to be one day. So, she asked if I would consider writing a post with advice to those not yet... but will one day be... married.
I always thought marriage was all about finding the right partner. If you find "the one"- you'll be happy, secure, and fulfilled. I do think it's good to have a list of standards that you look for in a spouse.
However, it can never be with the expectation that if you find that special someone, he'll right all your wrongs and fill up all your insecurities. The problem with this thinking is the pressure it will eventually put on your spouse.
To expect another person to make you feel happy, secure, and fulfilled will leave you disappointed at best and disillusioned at worst. Even a great husband makes a very poor God.
Only God can settle those deep heart needs. A man can never do this. If a husband could meet every need his wife had, we'd have no need for God. Therefore, instead of just focusing on finding the right partner, let God work on your heart to help you become the right partner.
The time to start working on becoming a wife is now. Before the white dress, delicate bouquets, unity candle, bacon wrapped shrimp, and reception punch, there is some heart stuff to consider:
Getting married doesn't instantly make you selfless... it makes you realize how very selfish you can be at times.
Getting married doesn't make you feel loved... it makes you realize love is more of a decision you make than a feeling you feel.
Getting married doesn't take away loneliness... it makes you realize true companionship comes not when you demand it but rather when you give it to another person.
So, what does marriage give?
A chance.
A beautiful chance to make the choice to...
Laugh-
whether or not the jokes are funny.
Love-
by folding his collar over his tie every morning.
Pretend-
like you don't need flowers, but delight when he buys them anyway.
Cheer-
him on through both failures and successes.
Tell-
him he's a great man everyday.
Thank-
God for the privilege of being his wife.
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Okay Bloggy friends...
Time to pipe in and share.
What should Annie and her friends know about marriage?
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