Can you believe fall is already here?
One of my neighbors has her pumpkins out already. Oh the pressure.
Every year I make plans that next year will be my grand autumn decorating year. I even have tubs of fall foliage and wreaths and ceramic pumpkins up in my attic. I just need to find my decorating motivation.
Before too long, it will be time for tinsel, lights, and red and green bows. Ashley just told me her Christmas wish list will include a real live monkey.
That's just what we need. For the next three months I will be redirecting those wishes to things less alive.
Loving animals comes naturally to her. It's in her blood. TerKeurst's are farmers.
And then Art married me. The girl who can't even keep houseplants alive much less grow from seeds things you can eat. Or milk an animal.
We both knew while we were dating that our childhoods had been very different. But I was determined that once I had that ring on my finger I would take a sudden liking to all things domestic.
Oh dear.
I quickly became overwhelmed during our first years of marriage with all that I perceived a wife should be and do. I placed huge expectations on myself. I was so busy trying to do things that would prove I was a good wife, I became an absolute bundle of frayed nerves.
Something had to give.
Finally, I went to Art and asked him to describe a good wife. His answer surprised me.
He didn't list most of what I was wearing myself out trying to accomplish. We were able to list out both of our expectations and discuss which were realistic and unrealistic.
We talked about the unrealistic expectations and how we could deal with those. Then we talked through creative ways to meet each other's realistic expectations.
It wasn't that we solved every marriage issue that day. But it opened up the lines of communication and was a huge step in the right direction for us both.
I've learned many important lessons throughout my 16 years of marriage. But learning to properly deal with expectations has been one of the most crucial.
Now, back to those autumn decorations. Art could care less. So they may or may not make it out of the attic this year.
And that monkey on the Christmas wish list this year? It will make for a great discussion with my daughter on the topic of unrealistic expectations.
________________________________________________________________
Have you and your husband ever discussed expectations? A great question to start with is asking your husband to define the word "haven."
What has helped you to let go of unrealistic expectations?
And not that this question fits... but just out of curiosity... have you pulled the fall foliage out of your attic yet?
One of my neighbors has her pumpkins out already. Oh the pressure.
Every year I make plans that next year will be my grand autumn decorating year. I even have tubs of fall foliage and wreaths and ceramic pumpkins up in my attic. I just need to find my decorating motivation.
Before too long, it will be time for tinsel, lights, and red and green bows. Ashley just told me her Christmas wish list will include a real live monkey.
That's just what we need. For the next three months I will be redirecting those wishes to things less alive.
Loving animals comes naturally to her. It's in her blood. TerKeurst's are farmers.
And then Art married me. The girl who can't even keep houseplants alive much less grow from seeds things you can eat. Or milk an animal.
We both knew while we were dating that our childhoods had been very different. But I was determined that once I had that ring on my finger I would take a sudden liking to all things domestic.
Oh dear.
I quickly became overwhelmed during our first years of marriage with all that I perceived a wife should be and do. I placed huge expectations on myself. I was so busy trying to do things that would prove I was a good wife, I became an absolute bundle of frayed nerves.
Something had to give.
Finally, I went to Art and asked him to describe a good wife. His answer surprised me.
He didn't list most of what I was wearing myself out trying to accomplish. We were able to list out both of our expectations and discuss which were realistic and unrealistic.
We talked about the unrealistic expectations and how we could deal with those. Then we talked through creative ways to meet each other's realistic expectations.
It wasn't that we solved every marriage issue that day. But it opened up the lines of communication and was a huge step in the right direction for us both.
I've learned many important lessons throughout my 16 years of marriage. But learning to properly deal with expectations has been one of the most crucial.
Now, back to those autumn decorations. Art could care less. So they may or may not make it out of the attic this year.
And that monkey on the Christmas wish list this year? It will make for a great discussion with my daughter on the topic of unrealistic expectations.
________________________________________________________________
Have you and your husband ever discussed expectations? A great question to start with is asking your husband to define the word "haven."
What has helped you to let go of unrealistic expectations?
And not that this question fits... but just out of curiosity... have you pulled the fall foliage out of your attic yet?
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