First, I must say a huge thank you for praying for my Mom. She rallied a bit this weekend and we both knew it was a direct result of many, many prayers.
If anyone has a connection at the Mayo clinic, please e-mail me at Lysa1@Proverbs31.org. We've tried twice to get her seen there but have been denied. Which may very well be for the best, but I thought I'd at least try one more time.
Since I've been home, I've been tired and grumpy. I can't really explain why. You know that edgy feeling that if one more person asks one more thing of me, my head might start spinning around?
Pleasant, hunh?
So, this morning I sat down with my Bible and asked God to please interrupt my feelings with His truth. I want to be fresh for my family today. I'd like to actually smile and say nice things.
Usually this comes without trying. But some kind of emotional funk has settled over me.
As I sat down with my Bible I opened it up and started reading and praying.
"Speak to me Jesus. Help me process this heavy feeling I have."
Only one word came to me. Only one word rushed across my heart and settled into my spirit. It wasn't the word I was expecting but I suppose it is the exact word I needed.
"Thanksgiving."
So, I started listing things for which I am very thankful. It felt a little silly. A little elementary. I wanted some deep theological truth to chew on and ponder. I wanted a big lightening strike of revelation. I wanted an instant fix... a ready explanation.
But here I am in this basic exercise.
And the more I verbalize what I am thankful for, the less cloudy my heart feels. I still can't explain my feelings. I still don't understand them. But I think verbalizing what I'm thankful for is the very thing that is keeping me from wallowing in them.
So, I am making choices despite my feelings. I am making the choice to get up and do the laundry, the grocery shopping, the cooking, the errand running, the kid investing.
And with each task as I am verbalizing my thankfulness I am seeing the treasures wrapped within.
I am thankful that we have running water and electricity. Therefore I can do laundry by walking across the kitchen. So many in this world don't have this luxury. I am thankful for the blessings of towels and sheets and clothing.
I am thankful for a car that can carry me to and from the grocery. I am thankful that I have money to buy the food my family needs. I am grateful for arms that are strong enough to lift the bags of food from my car and legs that help me carry it all inside.
I am so very thankful for my healthy kids and for the privilege it is to hear them call me Mommy. I am even thankful for the constant interruptions and busy little messes that seem to be found around each corner of motherhood.
I am thankful that God makes a way for us to live our lives based on truth rather than on feelings.
And I am really thankful that Weight Watchers makes little chocolate cakes that only count for one point... and that my grocery store had them in stock today... and that I have two set aside for my after lunch treat today.
Oh yes ma'am.
And that's how Jesus is helping me get my groove back.
Now for the winner of the drawing from last Thursday... can I just first say that you ladies are so smart and full of great insights! I read every one of your comments and found them to be incredibly helpful.
So, I used the little random generator to pick a winner...
Random Integer Generator
Here are your random numbers:70
Timestamp: 2008-07-06 16:03:26 UTC
Congrats to Pamela from the Pink Shoe Lady blog... you are the winner of the $20 Starbucks certificate.
If anyone has a connection at the Mayo clinic, please e-mail me at Lysa1@Proverbs31.org. We've tried twice to get her seen there but have been denied. Which may very well be for the best, but I thought I'd at least try one more time.
Since I've been home, I've been tired and grumpy. I can't really explain why. You know that edgy feeling that if one more person asks one more thing of me, my head might start spinning around?
Pleasant, hunh?
So, this morning I sat down with my Bible and asked God to please interrupt my feelings with His truth. I want to be fresh for my family today. I'd like to actually smile and say nice things.
Usually this comes without trying. But some kind of emotional funk has settled over me.
As I sat down with my Bible I opened it up and started reading and praying.
"Speak to me Jesus. Help me process this heavy feeling I have."
Only one word came to me. Only one word rushed across my heart and settled into my spirit. It wasn't the word I was expecting but I suppose it is the exact word I needed.
"Thanksgiving."
So, I started listing things for which I am very thankful. It felt a little silly. A little elementary. I wanted some deep theological truth to chew on and ponder. I wanted a big lightening strike of revelation. I wanted an instant fix... a ready explanation.
But here I am in this basic exercise.
And the more I verbalize what I am thankful for, the less cloudy my heart feels. I still can't explain my feelings. I still don't understand them. But I think verbalizing what I'm thankful for is the very thing that is keeping me from wallowing in them.
So, I am making choices despite my feelings. I am making the choice to get up and do the laundry, the grocery shopping, the cooking, the errand running, the kid investing.
And with each task as I am verbalizing my thankfulness I am seeing the treasures wrapped within.
I am thankful that we have running water and electricity. Therefore I can do laundry by walking across the kitchen. So many in this world don't have this luxury. I am thankful for the blessings of towels and sheets and clothing.
I am thankful for a car that can carry me to and from the grocery. I am thankful that I have money to buy the food my family needs. I am grateful for arms that are strong enough to lift the bags of food from my car and legs that help me carry it all inside.
I am so very thankful for my healthy kids and for the privilege it is to hear them call me Mommy. I am even thankful for the constant interruptions and busy little messes that seem to be found around each corner of motherhood.
I am thankful that God makes a way for us to live our lives based on truth rather than on feelings.
And I am really thankful that Weight Watchers makes little chocolate cakes that only count for one point... and that my grocery store had them in stock today... and that I have two set aside for my after lunch treat today.
Oh yes ma'am.
And that's how Jesus is helping me get my groove back.
Now for the winner of the drawing from last Thursday... can I just first say that you ladies are so smart and full of great insights! I read every one of your comments and found them to be incredibly helpful.
So, I used the little random generator to pick a winner...
Random Integer Generator
Here are your random numbers:70
Timestamp: 2008-07-06 16:03:26 UTC
Congrats to Pamela from the Pink Shoe Lady blog... you are the winner of the $20 Starbucks certificate.
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