The idea struck me the last time one of our darlings emptied the contents of their stomach all over their bedroom. Like most things, the TerKeurst's do nothing in a calm, tidy manner.
Oh no.
It was on the bedspread, in the sheets, on the carpet, on the wall, in the hair and even on the precious pink Target lampshade.
I stood there stunned and gagging.
I had no choice but to handle this in a mature, motherly way.
So, I went to get Art out of bed. He shared in the joy of making said child, so he should certainly share in the joy of cleaning her up.
We quickly assessed the situation while I scooped up my crying patient. She was very vocal about wanting me to hold her. So, I sacrificed by letting him have the room and I headed to the tub with sick child.
A little shampoo, a little soap, and a little kiss on the forehead made us good to go. Art, on the other hand, was struggling.
This is when my plan was hatched.
I told him I thought this whole thing could be solved by going to his storage shed to get the Wet-Dry Vacuum cleaner and just suck all that mess up.
He gave me the look. You know the "don't mess with my tools or my wet dry vac" look.
That's when it occurred to me that for the next Father's Day I could buy him a new wet dry vac but tape a sign on the outside that renamed it... "The Puke Sucker Upper."
It was a brilliant idea.
Except I started having flashes of Art being at church on Father's Day listening to all the other Dads bragging about their Home Depot Gift Certificates and automatic tie spinners.
Then they'd look at him and ask about his gift.
And I just couldn't figure out a manly way that he could say he got a "Puke Sucker Upper."
So, I'm looking to patent the idea and market it in a way that makes Dads everywhere think this is the thing all cool men must have. Just like women felt about the Bread machines of the 80's.
But until then, I had to come up with an inexpensive cool Father's Day gift. One that he could brag about with that "Tim the Tool man Taylor" laugh.
Alas, I present you... the Bocce Ball Set.
I gave it to Art early so that we could use it on our little family excursion to the beach this week.
Oh my stars, we have never had so much fun playing a family game as this!!!
So, until I get all my ducks in a row for my awesome Puke Sucker Upper to hit the market for all future Father's Days...
Consider getting a bocce ball set.
You will thank me.
More fun could not be found.
Except of course when one of your darlings has eaten too many M&M's while playing Bocce Ball and they give you the gift of revisiting those colorful yummies in a more liquid form during the night... and then you smile and walk to the garage to get my invention.
Oh yes ma'am that will be fun. You'll be doing your own version of the "Tim the Tool Man" laugh as you hand the Sucker Upper Machine to your husband and go back to bed.
I bet some of you have some brilliant Father's Day gifts in mind as well. So, share with us what some of you will be giving the Dads in your life this weekend.
Oh no.
It was on the bedspread, in the sheets, on the carpet, on the wall, in the hair and even on the precious pink Target lampshade.
I stood there stunned and gagging.
I had no choice but to handle this in a mature, motherly way.
So, I went to get Art out of bed. He shared in the joy of making said child, so he should certainly share in the joy of cleaning her up.
We quickly assessed the situation while I scooped up my crying patient. She was very vocal about wanting me to hold her. So, I sacrificed by letting him have the room and I headed to the tub with sick child.
A little shampoo, a little soap, and a little kiss on the forehead made us good to go. Art, on the other hand, was struggling.
This is when my plan was hatched.
I told him I thought this whole thing could be solved by going to his storage shed to get the Wet-Dry Vacuum cleaner and just suck all that mess up.
He gave me the look. You know the "don't mess with my tools or my wet dry vac" look.
That's when it occurred to me that for the next Father's Day I could buy him a new wet dry vac but tape a sign on the outside that renamed it... "The Puke Sucker Upper."
It was a brilliant idea.
Except I started having flashes of Art being at church on Father's Day listening to all the other Dads bragging about their Home Depot Gift Certificates and automatic tie spinners.
Then they'd look at him and ask about his gift.
And I just couldn't figure out a manly way that he could say he got a "Puke Sucker Upper."
So, I'm looking to patent the idea and market it in a way that makes Dads everywhere think this is the thing all cool men must have. Just like women felt about the Bread machines of the 80's.
But until then, I had to come up with an inexpensive cool Father's Day gift. One that he could brag about with that "Tim the Tool man Taylor" laugh.
Alas, I present you... the Bocce Ball Set.
I gave it to Art early so that we could use it on our little family excursion to the beach this week.
Oh my stars, we have never had so much fun playing a family game as this!!!
So, until I get all my ducks in a row for my awesome Puke Sucker Upper to hit the market for all future Father's Days...
Consider getting a bocce ball set.
You will thank me.
More fun could not be found.
Except of course when one of your darlings has eaten too many M&M's while playing Bocce Ball and they give you the gift of revisiting those colorful yummies in a more liquid form during the night... and then you smile and walk to the garage to get my invention.
Oh yes ma'am that will be fun. You'll be doing your own version of the "Tim the Tool Man" laugh as you hand the Sucker Upper Machine to your husband and go back to bed.
I bet some of you have some brilliant Father's Day gifts in mind as well. So, share with us what some of you will be giving the Dads in your life this weekend.
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