Part Two- Your Teens: Making their faith their own

Once again we have Suzanne Eller joining us today. If you missed yesterday's post, click here. If you'd like to visit Suzanne's blog for teens, click here.

And we'll be giving away several copies of Suzanne's book, Making It Real, whose faith is it anyway?- so be sure to leave your name in your comments. We'll be announcing the winners on Friday.

Here's Suzie...

Yesterday we talked about one faithbuster: Living by Feelings. Let’s look at three more faithbusters that can cause detours in a teen’s faith walk.

· Living on Borrowed Convictions

Many teens have a check and balance system in place. If they stray too far, a talk with mom or the youth pastor draws them back into the safety zone. A teen may believe in God and accept the Bible as truth, but are those beliefs his or her own? Does your teen’s convictions come from sermons, your example, or their Christian upbringing?

These are all good things, but borrowed convictions aren't enough when a teen leaves home and is flying solo and is challenged over their principles or convictions. They can rehash what their pastor said or what mom or dad believes, but the key question here is: what does your teen believe?

Make It Real:

We need to encourage our teens’ faith walk. We are a society that believes in education. We talk about college from the time that our children can read. We look at potential universities and careers and create savings accounts to invest in them academically, but is our student’s faith encouraged in the same way?

If a teen were to ask a question about physics or algebra, we’d work to help them find answers, especially if they are struggling. But if a teen expresses doubt or questions their faith, a parent may see that as a threat or fear that their teen is walking away from God.

Many times they are asking questions because they want to know God or to be able to clarify what they believe in spite of cultural assumptions about Christianity. Or maybe they've made mistakes and they are wondering where God is in the midst of that. Mom and dad, God is big enough for our teens’ questions!

Share resources (great books, magazines, etc.) but also to be open to listen to their doubts or questions. (Listen all the way to the end.) If you don’t know the answer, don’t pretend that you do, but let your teen know that you are willing to dig deeper and search Scripture so that your understanding is enhanced as well.

Understand, that as they carve out their convictions, their faith may not look like yours.

Today, a lot of teens express their faith best out of the pew. That’s not dismissing the importance of church, but this generation wants to express faith in service. They want to travel to Mexico and build houses for those in need, or help the homeless. They also don’t focus on the external. They don’t believe that God cares as much about what they wear as what is in their heart.

· Confusing Faith with Tradition

Confusing faith with tradition is our next faithbuster. It’s the one my children had to sort through. But as they did, it transformed their relationship with God.

A tradition is something that you do by habit or custom. If you have Christmas at your house every year or unwrap gifts on Christmas Eve only, that’s a family tradition or custom. For many teens, church is tradition. They grew up watching Veggie Tales and singing “I Love My Lips” along with Larry the Cucumber.

I recently sat with a group of teens who were going through the book, Making it Real, in their discipleship small group. I shared this verse with them:

I’m after love that lasts, not more religion. I want you to know God, not go to more prayer meetings. (Hos. 6:6)

I explained that going to church on Sunday is an amazing freedom. It’s a temple where like-minded believers freely come to worship God. It’s a house of prayer. It’s a place of healing. It’s a place where you can study God’s Word together. It’s a community of believers. But Jesus lives inside of each of us and we are a temple.

What does God want? For us to know him and to love him. When you worship God on a daily basis you offer him love that lasts rather than religion. You grasp his healing power when you ask God to move in when you feel broken. You add to your faith when you get alone with him and search his Word.

By making God more than a habit, you learn what it means to call yourself Christian. No one can strip your faith away because it’s deeper than rituals or habit.

Make It Real:

Faith is confusing for some teens. Is it going to church three times a week? Is it the way I look? Is it being “good”? Is it being a “hater” because your convictions collide with cultural views? Is it reading my Bible every day? Is it making sure my room is clean (after all, cleanliness is next to godliness, right?) or hanging with the right people or listening to the right music? Simplify it for your teen. Faith is a vital and personal relationship with a Creator who knows them and loves them and desires the same in return.

Our teens get so many confusing messages about faith. It’s vital that we don’t add to the complexity. Do we see our teens like God sees them, as a work in progress, an individual that He loves and is directing into destiny? Do we take the pressure off of a teen and encourage them to explore a “just me and God” relationship instead of a to-do list that makes them look good on the outside, but hollow within?

· Making Faith a Group Activity

The physical building we call church isn't the only place that your teen will find God. He’s available to them outside those four walls. Spending daily time with God is where a teen gets to know God one-on-one. Faith becomes a group activity when a teen (or adult) avoid one-on-ones with God or wait for the music to tell them when and how to respond to him.

Make It Real:

Does your teen have a place that they can get alone and study or pray? A place where little brothers won’t interrupt, or where they can journal for a few minutes each day? (A lot of teens may struggle with praying, but are very comfortable with expressing their thoughts to God in a journal. It’s praying, but just in a different way.)

Encourage that private time. I love the scripture found in Matthew 6:8 where Jesus says that God knows what we need before we even ask. Encourage your teen with this scripture. He or she may not know what to say to God, but it doesn't matter. He already knows and He’s listening. It takes the pressure off.

If your teen is spending alone time with God, don’t regulate it. That makes it a duty (pleasing you) rather than personal. Can you imagine going to see a friend and checking your watch and saying, “I have to spend 15 minutes with you today. It’s on my mom’s to-do list.” I tell teens to simply make it a meeting with their Creator—every day—and not to sweat what they should say, or how long they are there, but rather to begin to connect with Him daily.

I love it when a teen runs up and says, “I was going to read a few Scriptures and talk to God for a few minutes and I looked up and a whole hour had gone by.” It’s not the amount of time, but the fact that they are learning the beauty and joy of spending time with God.

From Suzie: I’ll try to check in throughout the day if you have questions. Thank you to Lysa for allowing me to share my love for teens with you today and yesterday on her wonderful blog! I’ll be on the Harvest Show on Friday talking about this very topic. I hope you tune in.

And remember to leave your name in your comments as we'll be giving several of my books away. We'll announce the winners this Friday.

Blessings, Suzie Eller