Brooke: "Mom, are you looking for gray hairs again?"Me: "Nope. I just like getting my head this close to the mirror."
Brooke: "Abby's mom knows the trick."
Me: "What trick?"
Brooke: "She has a wand that she waves over her head and it pulls out all her gray hairs. But it doesn't hurt at all. And then instantly brown hairs just grow back right away. It's really good Mom. You should get one of those."
When you go to a very formal dinner on Christmas Eve and they are serving carved turkey, you really shouldn't take the neatly staked turkey slices. Really you should just rip off one of the turkey legs which hangs off your china plate and then take your seat at the formal table and ask your mama why does everyone have two forks.
There are three ways to keep the deer from eating the pansies that your husband spent hours planting so that his wife could walk by them every day and say, "awww, my Arthur did that for me!"
1. plant deodorant soap under the mulch- but our deer like soapy pansies and eat them still
2. go to your barber and ask for a bag of human hair and then sprinkle it on top of your pansies- you've never seen a vision of loveliness like hairy pansies!- but our deer don't mind the hair either
1. plant deodorant soap under the mulch- but our deer like soapy pansies and eat them still
2. go to your barber and ask for a bag of human hair and then sprinkle it on top of your pansies- you've never seen a vision of loveliness like hairy pansies!- but our deer don't mind the hair either
3. when drastic measures are called for you have to tee-tee on the pansies and well the deer seem to then stay away. I won't tell you who discovered this nor will I share who's chore this is everyday. But boy do my pansies look pretty!
And lastly, Art's sure fire way to get his teen-aged daughter off the phone with her friend: "Hope, I got the nose hair trimmer repaired today! Did you hear me? The nose hair trimmer is fixed!" He just announced that very loudly as I was typing this so I had to add it in.
Have mercy. I love my family.
Okay, I know the Give Away is over but I'm still in the gifting mood. So, post some tidbit of your family's wisdom (silly or sane) and I'll pick the best one and send you a prize! My book, "The Bathtub is Overflowing But I Feel Drained," could be yours--- just for the posting.
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