I am such a complete sucker for marketing ploys. At one point my husband banned me from infomercials… it always looks like the greatest stuff. And the people selling it sound so genuine. Even if it is the dumbest infomercial thing in the world I’ll get sucked in by their enthusiasm. I just have to support their little invention that is only available for a limited time and if you call in the next 30 minutes you get their dumb invention number two as a bonus. Then when you call that 1-800 number, there is this script reading girlfriend who needs to talk you into an upgrade so she’ll get a bonus… of course I have to help girlfriend out so I add dumb invention number three for only $9.99 more.
What started out as a $20 impulse buy turns into a plus handling, plus taxes, plus upgrade, plus shipping disaster that eventually winds up going to the Goodwill because it didn’t make me lose ten pounds in ten seconds or magically roll about my house cleaning every stain without me lifting a finger.
So, eventually I learned how to turn the channel the minute I start to hear the words, “You just have to have this latest and greatest…” I take the clicker and start repeating, just say no…just say no… just say NOOOOOOOOHHHH… just say no! (sung to the tune of Bob and Larry’s Where is My Hairbrush Song or something like that.)
While I have successfully conquered the evils of infomercials… I can still be snookered. So the other day I went to get my hair cut at a very thrifty little salon. Seriously, I don’t like spending a lot of money on beauty type stuff. But after I saved so much getting my hair cut, I allowed myself to meander in the products store. That when I spotted Magic Lips! Ohhhh, ohhh, ohhh the sign says it stays on for 18 hours. I asked the lady in the store if the sign was speaking truth… like she is going to say something contrary to what her boss just printed on the sales sign…hmmm.
But I just so desperately wanted to believe that there could be such a thing and to beat all it was on SALE…of course. But you can’t just buy magic lips… you have to buy the gloss to apply on top and you have have to buy this stuff called OOPS! Because if you apply magic lips while driving (that’s me always!) and you hit a bump that causes the color to run up into a nostril, well…. You can’t fix said mistake without this OOPS product. (note to self…this is sounding a whole lot like the plus upgrade, plus handling, plus a partridge in a pear tree situation that I’m supposed to be singing my Bob and Larry song to!)
With my heart beating fast and my face just waiting to become magical… I purchase LIPS and run to car. Visions of beauty are dancing about in my mind when I whip out magic lips and apply.
OH MY STARS!!!! Let me just say if I were to dip my lips in gasoline and strike a match… it would not even hold a candle (excuse the sorry pun) to the fire that just got lit on the only set of lips my face owns. Owie, Owie, Owie Owie! Then they got stuck together when I pursed them trying to ease the pain. Oh wait, quick, maybe the problem is that I need that gloss stuff.
Shoot, shoot, shoot, I accidently applied the OOPS stuff and all that pain was for nothing. I had to start all over. Finally, ten minutes, 2 long streams of tears, and three magic products later I had some fine looking lips!
I was so proud of my lip burning self that I had to share my pain… I mean beauty secret-with a friend. Enter Wendy Pope- the only sweet sister at the Proverbs 31 office kind enough (sucker enough) to try and see if it burned her lips as well.
It did.
I had a serious case of inappropriate laughter disorder as I watched her bounce about fanning her lips.
Later she e-mailed to say that only one stripe across her bottom lip remained for 18 hours. After realizing she had no OOPS product to fix her situation I had another case of inappropriate laughter disorder.
So, how is it working out for me? Well, I thought just fine. I mean I can deal with the skin pealing off my lips from being burned day after day for almost a week now. I love that the color really does stay. But this morning my husband (who never notices stuff like this at all!) asked me about my lipstick…hmmm.
Him- Is it new?
Me- Kinda
Him- It’s not good
Me- Define good
Him- Colorless gloss is better for your face
Me- What’s wrong with my face?
Him- Your lips
I guess it was a bad idea to apply 18 hour lips at 6pm last night. I think my magic lips scared him in the middle of the night. He wouldn’t admit to it but they did kinda scare me when I got up this morning.
So, I’m still smiling... but without perma lips today... he banned that mess from attending church with us.
But I still hear it calling my name… Lysa, Oh Lyyyysssssaaaa… beautiful lips, remember us…come on baby light your lips on fire.
Please make me feel better and post a response about the dumbest thing you’ve ever purchased.
Smiling---kinda.
Oh by the way... the winner to my contest is Cindy from Still His Girl blog. Congrats girl!...
What started out as a $20 impulse buy turns into a plus handling, plus taxes, plus upgrade, plus shipping disaster that eventually winds up going to the Goodwill because it didn’t make me lose ten pounds in ten seconds or magically roll about my house cleaning every stain without me lifting a finger.
So, eventually I learned how to turn the channel the minute I start to hear the words, “You just have to have this latest and greatest…” I take the clicker and start repeating, just say no…just say no… just say NOOOOOOOOHHHH… just say no! (sung to the tune of Bob and Larry’s Where is My Hairbrush Song or something like that.)
While I have successfully conquered the evils of infomercials… I can still be snookered. So the other day I went to get my hair cut at a very thrifty little salon. Seriously, I don’t like spending a lot of money on beauty type stuff. But after I saved so much getting my hair cut, I allowed myself to meander in the products store. That when I spotted Magic Lips! Ohhhh, ohhh, ohhh the sign says it stays on for 18 hours. I asked the lady in the store if the sign was speaking truth… like she is going to say something contrary to what her boss just printed on the sales sign…hmmm.
But I just so desperately wanted to believe that there could be such a thing and to beat all it was on SALE…of course. But you can’t just buy magic lips… you have to buy the gloss to apply on top and you have have to buy this stuff called OOPS! Because if you apply magic lips while driving (that’s me always!) and you hit a bump that causes the color to run up into a nostril, well…. You can’t fix said mistake without this OOPS product. (note to self…this is sounding a whole lot like the plus upgrade, plus handling, plus a partridge in a pear tree situation that I’m supposed to be singing my Bob and Larry song to!)
With my heart beating fast and my face just waiting to become magical… I purchase LIPS and run to car. Visions of beauty are dancing about in my mind when I whip out magic lips and apply.
OH MY STARS!!!! Let me just say if I were to dip my lips in gasoline and strike a match… it would not even hold a candle (excuse the sorry pun) to the fire that just got lit on the only set of lips my face owns. Owie, Owie, Owie Owie! Then they got stuck together when I pursed them trying to ease the pain. Oh wait, quick, maybe the problem is that I need that gloss stuff.
Shoot, shoot, shoot, I accidently applied the OOPS stuff and all that pain was for nothing. I had to start all over. Finally, ten minutes, 2 long streams of tears, and three magic products later I had some fine looking lips!
I was so proud of my lip burning self that I had to share my pain… I mean beauty secret-with a friend. Enter Wendy Pope- the only sweet sister at the Proverbs 31 office kind enough (sucker enough) to try and see if it burned her lips as well.
It did.
I had a serious case of inappropriate laughter disorder as I watched her bounce about fanning her lips.
Later she e-mailed to say that only one stripe across her bottom lip remained for 18 hours. After realizing she had no OOPS product to fix her situation I had another case of inappropriate laughter disorder.
So, how is it working out for me? Well, I thought just fine. I mean I can deal with the skin pealing off my lips from being burned day after day for almost a week now. I love that the color really does stay. But this morning my husband (who never notices stuff like this at all!) asked me about my lipstick…hmmm.
Him- Is it new?
Me- Kinda
Him- It’s not good
Me- Define good
Him- Colorless gloss is better for your face
Me- What’s wrong with my face?
Him- Your lips
I guess it was a bad idea to apply 18 hour lips at 6pm last night. I think my magic lips scared him in the middle of the night. He wouldn’t admit to it but they did kinda scare me when I got up this morning.
So, I’m still smiling... but without perma lips today... he banned that mess from attending church with us.
But I still hear it calling my name… Lysa, Oh Lyyyysssssaaaa… beautiful lips, remember us…come on baby light your lips on fire.
Please make me feel better and post a response about the dumbest thing you’ve ever purchased.
Smiling---kinda.
Oh by the way... the winner to my contest is Cindy from Still His Girl blog. Congrats girl!...
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