Lysa TerKeurst

Will you fill me?

2009-12-17T06:57:00.003-05:00

In my "Encouragement for Today" Devotion, I wrote about how we girls can sometimes be found holding out a little heart shaped cup to our spouse, our kids, our friends, our possessions, or our jobs and ask, "Will you fill me?"

If you are visiting from the devotion... welcome. I'm glad you've popped over. The list of verses I promised can be found below. But first, I hope you'll read this:

We were created to experience the full love of God. When we try to get other people or other things to fill that which only God was made to fill, the remaining emptiness can make us girls desperate. I know. I've walked those roads.

And when people, possessions, and positions didn't fill me, I turned to food.

Ever been there?

I felt as if life was already denying me so much. For heaven’s sake, everything I wanted seemed out of reach but these cookies were right here. And I wanted them. And I knew they would taste good. And no one had the right to tell me I couldn't have them. So there.

I think many of us have been around this mountain a time or two or twenty seven. But I love what God instructs in Deuteronomy 2:3, “You have circled this mountain long enough. Now turn north."

Turn north it’s time to move on to something new. Turn north, it's time to stop trying to get everything else to fill you. Turn north and let the truth of my love seep into every deep recess of your soul. Only I can fill you, so turn north and see.

For me, this has to start with me admitting my feelings to the Lord and asking for his help. But I’ll be honest, often in times of struggle I’m over playing the plastic prayer game.

Rote prayers I’ve repeated thousands of times just won’t cut it when there’s Goldfish and Oreos calling to me from the pantry and my resolve has worn thin as a tissue. I’ve been known to pray as I’m stuffing myself full, “God, thank you for this food. Take it to the nourishment of my body and please change the molecular structure of these goldfish to be that of carrot sticks.”

Since I hardly think that’s a sign of heading north… I have to have another prayer strategy. And a few years ago, I found exactly what I needed- prayers where I don’t speak at all.

Romans 8:26, “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.”

In a huff one day I sat down to pray and had absolutely no words. None. I felt so empty.

I sat there staring blankly. I had no suggestions. I had no solutions. I had nothing but quiet tears and a little chocolate smeared on my top lip. Finally, God broke through to me when a thought rushed through my mind and caught me off guard, “I know you want me to change your circumstances, Lysa. But, right now I want to focus on changing you.”

I didn’t necessarily like what I heard during this first time of praying where I didn’t speak at all, but at least I felt I was connecting with God. I hadn’t felt that in a long time.

Since I wanted to keep that connection I started making it a habit to sit quietly before the Lord more often. I just trusted that the Holy Spirit would indeed lift up the exact right prayers for me like Romans 8:26 promised.

Sometimes I would cry. Sometimes I’d sit with a bad attitude. Sometimes I’d sit with a heart so heavy I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to carry on much longer. But as I sat, I sensed God was there. And I started to discern changes that I needed to make in response to my circumstances- responses that didn’t include using food for comfort. Responses that didn't demand fulfillment from anyone or anything but God.

If I was really going to head north and make lasting changes, I would have to empty myself of the lies that other things or people could ever make me feel full. Then I would have to fill up on God's truths.

The more I've filled myself up with the truths of God's love the less and less I find myself pulling out that little heart shaped cup.

That's why I wrote "Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl" to walk women through the process of learning how to have a fulfilling relationship with God. You can order your copy by clicking here. (But, wait... I have something I want to give you first!)

In the meantime, here's a list of some of my favorite verses reminding us just how filling God's love really is:

Ephesians 3:17- 19, "And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

Romans 8:38-39, "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Psalm 89:2
I will declare that your love stands firm forever, that you established your faithfulness in heaven itself.

1 John 4:9
This is how God showed his love among us: he sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him.

Romans 5:5
And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

1 John 3:1
How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.

Psalm 103:8
The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.

Psalm 103:17
But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him

1 John 2:5
But if anyone obeys his word, God’s love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him.

I pray this encourages you sweet friend. Happy (almost) weekend.

Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl

2009-07-08T22:30:00.006-04:00

This book is my heart divided into chapters and pages. I've told my kids, even if this message wouldn't have gotten published, I would have still written it just for them.

Just for a taste of what you can expect from this book, here's the introduction:

This is for all 3 of you who like to read introductions.

Since we will be spending time together as you read this book, I thought it might be helpful to let you in on a little secret. I’m a very picky book reader.

When I pick up a book, I don’t do it lightly. It takes time to read a book and time is a hot commodity. I’m not into wasting it. Unless of course I happen to be fortunate enough to be somewhere that requires me to have suntan lotion and a skirted tankini. But even then, I’m not into reading books full of theory but lacking in real-life application.

The reality is I've got dishes to wash, loads of laundry to fold, kids to raise, a ministry to run and cellulite to deal with. If I’m going to give a book some time, I want to know that I’ll be able to relate to the author as a trusted friend and that it contains a message that will challenge and impact me. If that’s what I want as a reader, you better believe I want to deliver that as a writer.

So what is the message I’m delivering in this book?

I want to help women not only know God’s truth but also feel equipped to live it out in their everyday lives.

For too many years I was full of Bible knowledge with no idea how to let the truths I knew impact my daily life. I would go to Bible study, leave all inspired, and then come home and have a complete meltdown over bleach being spilled on my favorite shirt. Or a kid’s bad attitude. Or finding out a friend betrayed me. Or gaining back the five pounds over a weekend that took me two months to lose.

How do we apply truth to this kind of everyday stuff? We are quick to say all the right Jesus answers in church, around our Christian friends and in our Bible study. But when the strains of life press against us, do we live as if Jesus really works?

I’m challenged by this. So, I wrote this book not as an expert having achieved this perfectly but rather as a friend who dared to try and become more than just a good Bible study girl. Inviting you to accept this challenge is the point of this whole book.

You see this book started with a question that many people seem to be asking today. It used to be that people asked, “Is Jesus true?” Books were written about it, sermons were preached about it, seminaries offered courses, all offering up spiritual, emotional, historical, and biblical answers proving that Jesus is true. He is the way, the truth and the life as He claimed He was.

But now that question has shifted. The question many are asking now is, “Does Jesus work?”

That’s great that He is true but what kind of difference can He make in my life? At first this question seems self centered and not even worth answering. I would never want to reduce Jesus down to the same qualifications by which we judge a car… that’s great that it’s the nicest vehicle on the road but will it get me where I want to go?

Though I admit asking “does Jesus work?” is a bit bold, it is an honest question deserving an honest answer. The world is literally dying to know the answer to this question.

So, I broke the question up and decided to tackle six things that each play a vital role in determining whether or not Jesus works.

Will Jesus make a difference in my heart?

Will he help my connection with God be more real?

What kind of difference could Jesus make in my relationships?

How do I process my struggles with Jesus?

What do I do when my thoughts pull me away from Jesus?

And does Jesus really have a calling for my life?

As you see each of those above questions correlate with the six sections of this book. My desire in writing this book was never to just fill another book shelf with another resource that will encourage us to just keep on keeping on with all this Jesus stuff.

No, my desire was to write a book that not only pointed people to the truth but also revealed how to really live it out. Truth lived out loud, is the very thing that will answer in an undeniable way the question, “does Jesus work?”

And it’s not just so we can all have a little more Kumbaya in our lives. It’s not about having a good Jesus feeling. It’s not so we can speak a little more Christianese and play the good Christian game a little better.

It’s so that the truth of Jesus can break free from the confines of our Christian arenas and replace the world’s emptiness with true fulfillment.

And on an even more personal level, I wrote this book to challenge myself to not just know the truth but to fully live it out.

You'll never catch me polishing my halo

2009-12-16T06:00:00.004-05:00

The other day I referenced a conversation I had a couple of years ago with my son and his girlfriend at the time and several of you asked me how did I get my son to open up with me about their struggles. They had gone too far physically. While they hadn't crossed every line, enough had happened that they were scared.

First, let me tell you I will never be the mom sitting around shining her halo about what a great job I do as a mother. So, please don't see this conversation as some kind of indication that I've got things all figured out. I don't.

I struggle more wondering if I'm doing this mothering thing right than any other area of my life. And there are lots of things I've done wrong along this journey.

But one thing I have done right is asking God to give me a spirit of wisdom and discernment. I've asked this of the Lord more times than I can count. I want to be able to discern what's really going on in the hearts of my kids and I want to have the wisdom to know how to respond.

It's funny, with little stuff... like a teen who knows better spilling cranberry juice on my white chair after I just instructed them to keep the juice on the kitchen table... or a lazy response to my request to help carry the groceries in...I feel those firecrackers in my Italian blood start to ignite.

I have to fight like mad to keep my responses calm. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don't.

But throw something big at me... like one of my teens who only had his learner's permit deciding to move my car in the driveway and causing thousands of dollars of damage to my visiting friend's car... or my son and his girlfriend admitting something hard for me to hear... and an unexplainable calm washes over me.

My son had experienced this calm during some other really tough things so he had the assurance I wouldn't freak out with this big issue.

And, I'd had plenty of honest conversations with him about the reality of teenager hormones. My hormones as a young adult had gotten me into trouble. When each of my kid's were mature enough to handle my story, I've been very honest with them. But, I've always placed a lot of emphasis on the consequences of my choices.

My goal with these conversations has always been to get them to think beyond what feels good and easy in this moment. Because what we chose in this moment will determine what we experience in many future moments.

I once sat some of my kids down and wrote out what they would need to one day live in a small home with some very basic necessities. Then I wrote out how much money they'd need to make per hour in order for this to be their reality. They were shocked by how expensive life really is. And they were really shocked to see how tough this would be if they dropped out of high school.

Not that they were thinking of dropping out of high school... but it sure does prove a strong point when they ask why school matters.

Emphasizing that every choice will either carry with it a blessing or a consequence has been a thread I've tried to keep consistent throughout my parenting journey. It's not always easy to operate under the reality discipline premise but it's the only thing that's worked for me.

I'll write more about this next week. My son will be home from college and I want him to weigh in on this discussion. I write all this to ultimately say, I don't really know why my son came to me that day. And I certainly don't have a step by step plan to help make this a reality for my other kids.

I just have some serious prayers invested, a few things I've done right, a bucket load of things I've done wrong, and the grace of a very forgiving God.

A contest day

2009-12-15T05:57:00.003-05:00

p.s. I know it's weird to put a p.s. on the top of a post instead of the bottom but I wanted to make sure you knew I am also posting over at (in)Courage today. All I can say is I never promised I to be a great driver...Click here to keep reading...
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Thank you for your insightful and encouraging comments yesterday. I've already implemented several of your suggestions in that chapter and am so happy to report the book is 3/4 done.

Which is a good thing since I have to turn in a completed manuscript February 1. How did February sneak up on us so quickly? Seriously. That seemed so far away when I signed this contract. Now it's right around the corner.

It's a daunting task to write a book. Especially when the people you live with want to eat three meals a day and wear clothes that are actually washed every now and then. And have a mama who washes her hair every now and then.

Anyhow.

Speaking of hair, I send out my deepest love and gratitude to the wonder of the world named Amber. Thank you for not judging me with my self trim attempts. Thank you for brown hair dye. Thank you for answering desperate texts and miraculously fitting me in.

If you live in Charlotte your hair must meet Amber. I take that back. If you live on Earth your hair must meet her. I think I will do a video blog with her sometime.

I wanted to do a video blog today but my hair has a mind of its own and I would surely scare you and never do Amber's fabulous cut justice. Hair likes to be washed. And I might have mentioned I'm having some issues with that right now. Because I'm writing a book. Not on hair, thank goodness.

Anyhow, speaking of books... I have a little surprise today.

Shhhhh.... this is just between me and you.

I got some advance copies of the "Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl" Bible Study and DVD teaching series that are not supposed to be out until the end of this month. Yes, I did! And guess what?

I'm giving away a set today.

Yes, ma'am.

You'll get a book, a Bible Study workbook and a DVD that contains the 6 teaching sessions delivered right to your doorstep. Not by me and my greasy hair. No. By the postman. Or postwoman. Or post-teenager. And you will jump up and down and call your mama. Hopefully.

So.

All you have to do to enter is leave me a comment about your favorite shampoo. Oh I kid. You can talk about your shampoo or leave me your favorite Bible verse about overcoming a struggle.

Yeah.

I love contest days.

It's not fair

2009-12-14T05:55:00.004-05:00

Happy Monday sisters... we dicussed this last week... now tell me what you think about how this chapter for my healthy eating book is developing. Thank you for your insights!
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A big, huge piece of bakery deliciousness sat in front of me.

It was a combination of three different desserts in one. One layer was cheesecake, one layer was ice cream cake, and in between both of those was a layer of brownie like chocolate cake... all drizzled with some kind of fudge icing that was literally calling my name.

This was served to me this summer while Art and I were on a special romantic vacation. It was at the beginning of my no sugar adventure. I'd been doing great at home but sitting there that night was tough.

I'd been dropped into a place that was teaming with bakery things my mind could not even conceive with my husband who could eat a pound of sugar a day and still look fit and trim.

I didn't want Art to miss out so I told him to please enjoy- "I'm fine."

But inside a totally different dialog was playing in my mind- "It's not fair!"

In that instant, I squirmed in my chair and thought, "I'll just take one little bite... maybe two... I've been so good... this is vacation... everyone else is indulging...OH MY STARS WHAT ARE YOU DOING LYSA!"

The sugar was like a siren of mythical tales, luring the ships over to rocky coves that would inevitably dash and destroy them. The seduction was smooth and seemingly innocent. But in that moment of temptation, I realized me having a pity party was a clue I was relying on my own strength- A strength that has failed me before and would fail me again.

I had to grab hold of God's strength and the only way to do that was to invite his power into this situation. I mentally gave God control of the situation by reciting the go to script I'd been using at home when tempted, “I am made for more. I am made for victory.”

Then I quoted pieces and parts of Scriptures I’ve tied to this go to script and banked up in my heart. "I'm more than a conqueror." "With God all things are possible." "Let the peace of God reign in your heart." "Lead us not into temptation but DELIVER us from the evil one..."

The problem is, Satan hit me with a twist leaving me vulnerable and shaky, “But this is a special time Lysa. And special times deserve an exception to your normal parameters. It’s not fair that you have to sacrifice. Look around you. No one else is sacrificing right now.”

Poor me. This isn’t fair. I’ve lived with this struggle for so long. This is a special time. I could just give in this once. Everyone else is doing it.

It’s at this exact point where the dieter indulges. The virgin sleeps with her prom date. The girl on a debt reduction plan pulls her credit card back out. The alcoholic skips AA and heads off to the bar instead.

We may know we are made for more but somehow Satan has dissipated this truth with the justification of, “special times deserve special exceptions and anything else just isn’t fair.”

I needed a go to script for this situation.

So, I lowered my head and prayed, “God my I am at the end of my strength here. This is the moment I’ve got to sense your strength stepping in. The Bible says, your power is made perfect in weakness. This would be a really good time for that truth to be my reality. Help me see something else besides this temptation looming so large in front of me it seems impossible to escape.”

Suddenly a memory flashed across the screen of my mind. I was sitting on my back deck with my teenage son and his girlfriend having a deeply honest and gut wrenching conversation with them. They had gotten into a bad situation and allowed things to go too far physically. While not every boundary line was crossed, enough had to scare them both. My advice to them was to think beyond the moment. Say out loud, “this feels good now, but how will I feel about this in the morning?"

The morning will always come and shed light on the consequences of our choices from the night before.

That was it. I was challenged by the words and expectation I had placed on my son while not realizing how this same advice could be so powerful if applied to my area of struggle. I had my next go to script and as I recited it, God’s power filled in the gap of my weakness.

Soon, it was time for us to get up from the dinner table. I pushed my chair back, left my dessert untouched on the table, and walked back to our room. And I've never felt so empowered in my life.

Had I said yes to that one bite, that first night of our vacation, there would have been more compromises. Compromise built upon compromise equals failure. Instead, resisting temptation allowed promise upon promise to be built up in my heart which equals empowerment.

One day, I will be empowered enough to take a couple of bites and walk away... but that day isn't now.

I don't know what you might be struggling with today but I can assure you... God is fair and just.

There is a good reason we must face this. Our struggle to say no may be painful in the moment but it is working out something magnificent within us.

Christmas can be a struggle for people needing to make sacrifices because just like vacation- it's a special time. Too many of us use this as a time to throw caution to the wind and indulge thinking we'll just do better in January. But think of how much better we'll feel if we don't compound the issues we'll be facing in January.

Think of how much better January will be if we don't have an extra 5 pounds to deal with. Or $500 of debt. Or an extra load of guilt from other choices we made during Christmas.

Yes, it is a special time. And I'm not saying we shouldn't make it special. But for me, my special has to be found in things that don't involve sugar this year. And strangely enough, I'm finally starting to be good with that. God's power has proven to be the perfect match for my weakness. And what a special gift of discovery that is!

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says, “But he [Jesus] said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (NIV).”

Caskets should never be made child-sized

2009-12-10T08:20:00.003-05:00

This week we've been talking about everyday things we girls deal with... losing weight and gaining it back, making lifestyle changes, and my on going hair saga. But today I want to shift gears a bit.

I have a devotion running over at Proverbs 31 called, "Where was God?" Those of you popping over here from Encouragement for Today- welcome. My devotion today is about trying to make peace with God when the unthinkable happens.

It's hard when we know God is big enough and mighty enough to save someone but doesn't.

I'll be honest this is something I have had to personally wrestle with and while I don't have all the answers, I have a soothing thought I'd like to share. But first let me let you peek inside my personal story.

I know the cavernous grief that can sweep over a person in the midst of tragedy. My baby sister died due to a set of circumstances that all started when a doctor gave her some medication no child should ever be given.

One thing led to another and eventually her liver failed. While Haley was fortunate enough to receive a liver transplant, complications after the surgery were too much for her tiny body. I'll never forget getting the call from my mom telling me Haley was gone.

I'll also never forget the pink roses covering Haley's casket and the way my mom laid across them and wouldn't let them move Haley for hours after the service. It's was too much to watch my mom's heart being ripped from her chest and lowered away with that casket.

Caskets should never have to be made child sized.

So there I stood on the hot September day. I should have been at school eating lunch, laughing with my friends, planning my outfit for the dance Friday night.

Instead, I stared at the grass poking around my black shoes, wearing a black dress, listening the guttural cries of my mom. Fully realizing life as I'd always known it was over. A line had been drawn that would sever our normal description of time. Things would be categorized as 'before Haley died' or 'after Haley died.'

I hated that.

And I hated feeling guilty when I caught myself laughing at something 2 months after she died. But the worst thing of all was reliving the grief every morning when sleep would give way and the realization that Haley was gone hit me just as fresh and raw as the first day I was told.

Wounds such as these take a long time to heal. And during that time we will feel anger, betrayal, sorrow, and 100 other emotions we wish we could whisk away by reading a few good books and praying just the right prayers.

But I found there is no secret potion for grief. No easy answers to suddenly make all things better. And no pat answers when our soul cries out, "How could a good God let bad things happen?"

That's when we have to make the choice to stand on what we do know in the midst of so much we don't know.

I finally understand this now. It took me years of running from God, feeling angry with God, and sometimes doubting God even existed. I was so consumed with my question of 'why' that I lost sight of the answer God had already given.

Jesus. God suffered as he willingly allowed his Son to be taken, and beaten, and killed so that the brokenness of this world would be temporary.

Can you imagine the restraint it must have taken for God to watch and not step in? As a parent, I can't imagine.

The restraint was His deep love for you and me and my sister and my mother and every other sufferer of grief. I'm convinced on the day Jesus hung on that cross, God saw us. God saw my mother draped across Haley's casket and with the deepest guttural sobs said, "I will make this right sweetheart. I will make this right."

God is loving. God is kind. God is merciful. God designed this world without tragedy and grief and cancer and death and mothers having to bury their children. God didn't want us to know this kind of grief. But he did want us to have the free choice to love. And in that free choice, we brought sin into this world and broke God's original design.

In the end, it is His suffering that provides something greater than answers. Hope. Pure and unrestrained hope. Death was not the end for my Haley. It is but an interruption of time.

And with that, I turn my face to the sunshine and with full confidence whisper, "I'll meet you where the pink roses grow wild and free Haley. And we'll laugh the thousand laughs we missed out on before."
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If you would like to read more on this there is a chapter in my new book, 'Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl' called Deep Grief. You can order a copy for yourself or for a friend by clicking here.

Check out a fun blog give-away over at my friend Karen Ehman's!

The TV, fly aways, an earring, and a question

2009-12-09T06:32:00.002-05:00

So, yesterday I walked into the 700 Club thrilled at the possibility for their stylist to wield a brush working a little hair do miracle with my self-trimmed situation. But busyness had swept into her world and she only had time for a quick spray and a combing down of the split ends waving to the world from the top of my head.

Bummer.

Thank you for saying I looked nice. And thank you for praying. If you want to watch the segment here it is. But did anyone notice another little situation? Well, watch it and then keep reading...

After my TV interview... and after chatting it up with the amazing folks from another blog called "The lettered cottage"... precious people who need to pack up and come live next door to me...Holly and I went to lunch with one of the producers and a pastor from California.

Anyhow.

We were sitting at lunch and Holly starts giving me the eye. That, "something is wrong and I can't believe I didn't notice this before you went on national TV but I don't want to embarrass you so I'm not sure what to do"- eye.

Eventually, curiosity got the best of dear Holly and in the middle of a conversation about deeply spiritual matters, she reaches over and points to a spot on my necklace. A spot where something was hanging from my necklace. A spot where a square silver earring was just dangling from my necklace waving to the world and proclaiming, "This girl has more issues than just her hair."

Y'all!

How did I not notice an earring hooked to the side of my necklace?!?

See, this is my life. Kind of like the time I flew into a city and totally forgot to pick my luggage up at baggage claim. I just landed, started talking to the lady picking me up, and walked right out of the airport.

The world was my oyster until I discovered my lack of hairspray. Never mind my lack of clothing. It was the hairspray that made my heart beat fast and certain pores on my body to sweat.

Mercy.

Anyhow. Thank you for participating in the weight loss discussions the past couple of days. I am pondering all of your thoughts and will address all of this again next week.

In the meantime, I have one more question for you. What defines life style change as opposed to a diet? I think we all agree that making life style changes is the key to lasting success. So, let's chat about that.

What is a lifestyle change? Is it truly possible to eat healthy forever? What are some realistic substitutes you've implemented that leave you feeling satisfied rather than deprived and envious of those around you who are eating other things?

There is something to be discovered here...

Lysa's Story

2009-10-10T21:50:00.003-04:00

Lysa's Story (aired on Life Today, September 2009 James & Betty Robison)

Click here to watch Lysa's Story.

The 700 Club (December 8, 2009)

Lysa TerKeurst: A Deeper Faith (article on CBN.com)

Oprah (Oct 2, 2009) -- Part 1

Oprah (Oct 2, 2009) -- Part 2

Love Knows No Color (article on Oprah.com)

It's not fair and my hair

2009-12-08T07:11:00.002-05:00

Oh I have much to talk about on this Tuesday morning.

If we were chatting on the phone I'd grab a broom and my load of laundry that's been lingering in the dryer. Whenever I'm about to chat it up with a friend, this is what I do.

I talk. And clean. And listen. And fold. And giggle. And sweep.

It helps a girl who is emotionally allergic to most things domestic to combine that which she loves with that which she doesn't.

It's like the song, "A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down."

Except that I don't really do sugar right now, so I guess it doesn't apply. But you catch my drift, right?

Anyhow.

If you happen to be in the mood to turn on the 700 club today, me and my hair situation will be on. And thank you for reminding me that the 700 Club will surely have a stylist to help me comb my do. Except that I received an e-mail to come to the studio with my make up and hair done.

Drats.

What do you think they would say if I showed up with my hair wrapped up in a towel and just simply explained I had a most unfortunate encounter with a pair of my wrapping paper scissors? By the way, I cut some more off the sides yesterday.

I know.

Usually I limit my self trims to the bang region. But y'all the extraneous flippies on the sides...you'll see.

Anyhow.

Thank you for your wise, wise words and honest insights yesterday regarding gaining lost weight back. You have no idea how much I wish we could meet for coffee and chat about this topic in person. And since I'm pretty sure it is illegal to fold laundry in a coffee shop, we could chat and do nothing else.

Except count my split ends. But we've moved on from the hair topic. Situation. Awful, dreadful, embarrassingly flippie and fly away, obviously self-trimmed with wrapping scissors hair do. Or lack thereof.

So.

Today, can we chat about something else I'm writing about in my book. The whole thought of "it's not fair I struggle with my weight and she doesn't."

Let's be honest. It's hard when your best friend, sister, mother, co-worker, hair dresser (had to throw that one in because have I mentioned I'm having issues with my hair?)... when other women you do life with eat whatever they want, whenever they want and never gain an ounce.

And while they are munching away on all things delicious, you look down at your mid-day snack of a slice of turkey wrapped in a lettuce leaf and you think, "my hair looks awful today."

No, sorry.

You think, "This is not fair."

Now, I know there are a lot worse things in this world than this. We all know there are a lot worse things in the world than this. But this is an honest, everyday struggle many of us deal with and I want to address it head on.

So, please share your thoughts.

About the "it's not fair issue"... not my hair do.

18 days of kindness and a question

2009-12-07T06:35:00.002-05:00

Today is a day of complete and utter random ramblings. This is what you'd get if we were having lunch together today. Plus, you'd see me sporting a red shirt of some sort... you'll see why in a minute.

It may or may not have to do with a certain football team who happens to be number one at the current moment. I married into the crazy tide rolling thing. And I'm such a serious fan the last game or two of the season.

But more about that in a minute.

You would also see that my hair... all 547, 627 of them are desperately needing a trim. Oh wait, you will see that because I am going to the 700 club tomorrow where they will interview me and my unruly hair. But take heart, I did trim the pieces covering my eyeballs.

With apologies to my sweet hair dresser, Amber. I know you are not a fan of the old self trim situation. But I had to. And I am now a walking mess but with shorter bangs. Lovely. I will call you soon. To apologize. And to beg for an appointment. This week.

Okay first note of serious business... Thank you for your vulnerable honesty in the prayer requests you posted last week. Holly and I are honored to pray for each of you.

Secondly, how are you coming with your acts of kindness? I found a great verse for us today. Ephesians 2:10- we are created to do good works which Christ prepared for us in advance. That 'in advance' part grabs me and makes me smile. The thought of Jesus preparing a divine appointment with me in mind, seriously astounds me.

Don't give up sisters. And if you haven't joined in on the 37 days of kindness. Start today. You can make yours 18 days of kindness- one act of kindness specifically for Jesus' birthday each day between now and Christmas.

18 days is great. It's not the number of days we do this but rather the heart of kindness we develop along the way. And might I be so bold to say, I think Jesus loves this birthday present!

Now on to my question... And brace yourself for the total randomness of this shift in subjects. It's Monday and my brain bounces about on Mondays.

Much like the Florida defense did this past weekend when playing my husband's favorite team in the whole world. Thank you Alabama for winning. I was quite conflicted in my heart about who I wanted to win, because there are some really great guys that play for Florida.

But in the end, I supported the red team because my man loves them and I love my man. Plus, it saved me from having to run to Target and get an anniversary gift. I just smiled as the game was coming to a close and said, "I arranged all that for your anniversary gift sweetheart."

He loved my labor of love. Roll tide, roll.

Anyhow.

I'm working on a chapter right now that I'd really love to have your input on. And I realize this is probably the worst time to be asking this question. Which in a strange sense makes it the best time to ask this question.

Why do we so often gain back the weight we lose?

It's the worst time to ask this question because December is a month heavy laden with goodies of all sorts.

But it's the best time to ask because December is a month heavy laden with goodies of all sorts.

I am nothing if not a bucket load of wisdom this morning, right?

So, what are your thoughts? I think this is such a crucial chapter for this book and I knew you might have some great insights.

Either about this or how to disguise a bad self trim on TV.

Thank you friends.

Happy Monday.

Why don't we pray together?

2009-12-03T00:18:00.015-05:00

It's a Holly Day today ~

Thanks for visiting from the Encouragement for Today. Lysa and I would love to pray for you by name during our morning runs. Please click on 'comments' below and list your request.

In recent years I have come to learn the importance of praying not only for my family, but also with my family.

When my kids were toddlers I would faithfully pray with them every night before bed.
But as they grew older and went to bed themselves, this routine eventually stopped.

Several years ago, I felt convicted about praying with my family. Why was it that I could pray so easily with the youth in our church, with women at conferences all over the country, and with friends at Bible study, but not with my own family? Those precious people I live and do life with every day? Why did we not pray together?

There are many excuses and reasons I could drum up. But I won’t go there.

I will just happily report that we now freely pray together. It’s a part of the DNA of our family. But don’t misunderstand me. We still squabble, have many typical family frustrations and still punish our kids for making wrong choices. But we are also quick to pray for guidance, help and thanks together.

Several weeks ago my husband noticed that a pipe in our home had sprung a leak for the 2nd time in 4 months. We were extremely stressed and quite disturbed at this find. The flashbacks immediately poured in, reminding us of the probability of more bills, new carpet and drywall. It had been quite the ordeal the first time around.

But as the plumber was fixing what turned about to be a very minor pipe leak, he smelled gas while he was up in our attic. So without hesitation he switched gears and worked quickly to replace the faulty gas valve.

I couldn’t help but sigh, sit down and give thanks. The annoying-2nd time-around water leak led us to the could-be-dangerous gas leak situation.

Thank you, Lord. Your ways are much higher than our ways. Thank you for that pesky pipe leak. Thank you for that sharp plumber. Thank you that my husband noticed the pipe leak early before any significant water damaged occurred. Thank you for keeping us safe.

So that very night, after the plumber had gone and we were finally able to turn our water back on, we sat in our family room and acknowledged the events which had taken place over the previous 36 hours.

And then we prayed together, giving thanks for things that appear like annoying mishaps and unwanted expenses, but have a much bigger purpose.

Every time we gather and pray, He faithfully protects, loves, forgives, strengthens, heals, and binds our hearts closer.

I’ve learned that it’s one thing to tell my kids to pray.

It’s something altogether different to join them in that adventure.

Still stealing kisses

2009-12-01T09:10:00.005-05:00

When Art and I were first married, we struggled. A lot. We both brought in loads of unrealistic expectations into our marriage. And instead of our first years being blissfully romantic, they were spent sifting through layer after layer of hurt, disappointment, anger, and grief.

For years my marriage felt more like a life sentence than a blessed partnership.

It was tough, really tough.

But one sticky, hot, Mississippi afternoon I caught a glimpse of something that I've never forgotten. Peaking out a window with cracked green paint peeling from the sill, I watched as Mamaw pulled a rusty yard chair over to sit by Papaw.

Like a piece of a puzzle settling into place, Mamaw fit just right by her man. No conversation ensued, no catching up was necessary, just a look and a nod and everything was understood. It was their waltz of doing life together that had been perfected over time.

And it made me cry.

Tears slipped from my eyes and dripped down my cheeks splattering onto an old linoleum floor well worn from years of activity. Years of making his favorite breakfast of biscuits with giblet gravy. Years of running after their babies, grand babies and even great grand babies. Years of pacing the floor trying to chase away the grief of losing two of their six children.

I grabbed my camera and swiped the back of my hand across my cheeks.

"Kiss her Papaw," I said in a voice to soft for his hearing aid to catch. Mamaw knew he hadn't heard and so without missing a beat, she leaned over and kissed him instead. My camera clicked. And with that one click a legacy of love was captured.

I loved that moment.

I loved it then.

And I especially love it now.

It has been years ago that Mamaw laid Papaw into the arms of Jesus and kissed his cheek for the last time on this side of eternity.

But last Thursday I pictured her seeing him again. Seeing him whole and healthy and able to hear her slightest whisper. And I love that thought.

I also love the thought of Art and I one day sitting in old yard chairs able to speak volumes with just a glance and a nod. Still stealing kisses between the activity of all our kids.

And still thinking of the words Papaw once wrote to us in a letter I've read hundreds of times. "Life is more than just the living of it. Now, you two discover it together."

They did.

And by the grace of God we are too. We really are.

The greatest of legacies aren't necessarily built around the big moments of life marked with anniversary dates and wise words spoken to the crowds. They are built around peeling window sills, rusty yard chairs, and secret kisses when you thought no one else was looking.

But they were.

(In)Courage Monday

2009-11-30T09:04:00.004-05:00

Happy Monday bloggy friends. Today is a day of sweet sorrow for our family. Our grandma TerKeurst, affectionately named, Mamaw, went to be with Jesus on Thanksgiving day. Her life and love will be celebrated today with many tears and some laughter too.

If there is one thing Eula Mae Mamaw TerKeurst would have wanted at her funeral, it would have been smiles and laughter.

I'll post a little more about Mamaw tomorrow.

For today, I'm guest posting over at (in)Courage. It's on a topic many of us girls wrestle with... acceptance. It's called "She likes me, She likes me not."

Here's how the post starts~

There is a fundamental need inside most girls to be liked. We want some people of the female variety to totally get us and walk away thinking we're pretty neat.

It's like we carry around a miniature scale. On one side we put our coolness and on the other side our total dorkiness.

Put a group of women in a space to mingle for a while and when you release them from that space, I guarantee many will walk away playing that daisy petal game in their head: "She likes me...she likes me not."

It takes me back to my brace-faced middle school days quicker than Rick Springfield singing, "Jessie's Girl." Which, by the way, I totally wanted to be. I didn't have a clue who Jessie was. But to think of Rick pining away wishing I was his...sigh.

To keep reading, click here.

And have a great Monday. No matter how this Monday started, it's a gift. Yes, today is truly a precious gift. May each of us unwrap it intentionally and enjoy it immensely.

God's Kindness Southern Style

2009-11-26T10:32:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, I was admiring all the delights one can find while riding the back country roads of a Southern state.

Dilapidated barns tucked in fields of chopped down crops I can’t name. JR’s Barbecue sits right beside the Red Shed Store proudly proclaiming, “We build ‘em, you fill ‘em.”

The filling station is well stocked with snacks for all the people required to come inside and pay for their gas. There are three large jars on the paying counter just waiting to entice the traveler’s taste buds- giant pickles, pickled eggs, and pickled pig’s feet.

I kid you not.

And y’all the jars were half empty. Normally, I’m a half full outlook kind of gal… but somebody has been eating some snacks that made me feel a little off kilter.

And speaking of off kilter, there are no Starbucks.

No ma’am we don’t have them fancy coffee places in these parts. Who would pay $4 for a grande, skinny vanilla latte, single shot, 7 pumps, no whip, extra hot cup of joe when the pickled pig’s feet gas station has a pot that’s been sitting there three days waiting for you to enjoy it’s scalded goodness.

Seriously. The nerve of my little uppity redneck self.

And don’t you dare ask if they happen to have wireless. They have keys for their locked restroom facilities attached to large chopped off pieces of PVC pipes… and they have dust 5 inches thick on their gum for sale- but no wireless.

Anyhow. Lots to observe.

But, the thing that grabbed my attention more than any other was a large, white, hand painted sign. The letters on the sign were too black and bold to miss. Everyone driving by the sign would have to read its warning: “Repent! The day of Jesus is coming. Repent of your sins today!”

I must admit, the sign made me frustrated. I rolled my eyes and thought who is going to read that sign and suddenly in the midst of broken down barns and gas stations that sell pig’s feet say, “Well, I’ll be… that’s what I’ve been missing all my life. I need to repent.”

I wanted the sign to talk about Jesus’ love.

Or forgiveness.

Or grace.

Or second chances.

But repentance?! That’s just kind of a tough introduction to my Jesus.

Good thing I’m not in charge of painted signs on the side of Southern roads. I’ve been thinking about that sign since I saw it yesterday. And my feelings have changed.

I am humbled by my hard hearted assumption that the sign was meant for other people. When in reality, I think the sign was meant for me.

A reminder that I fall short.

I can be selfish and self-centered and distracted from what really matters.

And I can be more concerned over the dust on gas station gum packets than the soul of the tired old man working behind the counter.

I’ve been on this 37 days of kindness adventure for over a week now. And instead of feeling all puffed up by all my many acts of kindness, I am brought low by the realization of just how self focused I can be sometimes.

So, today, my kindness focus will be on this beautiful verse tucked in Romans 2:4, “…God’s kindness leads you toward repentance.” It’s not enough just to muster up the gumption to act kindly toward others and at the end of this adventure present 37 deeds well done to Jesus.

I’m starting to think it’s not about the acts of kindness at all.

Rather about a large white sign on the side of the road and a girl’s heart who thought the sign could never be meant for her. But it was. It is. And it will forever be.

Happy Thanksgiving sweet friends.

What Only Jesus Can Do for a Woman

2009-11-24T05:38:00.003-05:00

Has anyone else struggled with the Twilight rage?

I'll admit I have. It was the same struggle I had with the Harry Potter rage. But my kids were never interested in Harry Potter so it was a mute issue in my home.

Now, before we go any further, I have to say I'm not writing this post to debate whether or not Christians should see these kinds of movies. I'm not judging anyone that loves these novels and lets their kids read them.

I'm not.

I'm actually not even writing this post to debate the movies at all. I am writing this post to point out one danger in the twilight movies. Something for us all to consider, ponder, pray and if you have older teenage daughters who see the Twilight movies- discuss.

My first inclination was to tell my teenage daughters that we were absolutely not going to see movies about vampires and blood mixed with unrealistic teenage hormones. But then I decided I wanted to enter into a more intelligent discussion of my concerns over these movies than just saying, "vampires are bad."

My daughters expect more from me than that. I expect more of myself. And as a Christian mom, I need to equip my daughters to approach things in this world not from a harsh judgmental view point- but rather a spiritually sound, discerning veiwpoint.

There will be lots of "Twilight" type situations along their spiritual journey. And I want them to be Jesus girls who can see through the surface of the story.

So, I went to see the "New Moon" movie last night.

On the surface, I now see why this series is so appealing to young girls. Cute boys. Teenage love. Danger from which the cute boys always rescue the girl. The feeling that the teenagers know more about life and love than any of the adults in the film. And the hope that it really is possible to find a love that escapes the realities of everyday life. A love that is always thrilling, always passionate, always fireworks and rose petals.

Therein lies the dangerous thread I want to address.

No man can ever be what these types of movies portray. And if young girls fall in love with the notion that they too can find a man who will sit by their bed and stare at them adoringly all night just to say, "I'll protect you forever," they will set themselves up for failure.

No man's love is ever perfect. No man can protect his love against all the evils of the world. No man can ever satisfy the deepest longings of a woman. No man can ever fully complete the hole in a woman's soul.

Because even a great man, makes for a very poor God.

Only Jesus can do this for a woman.

We were designed as women to crave the affections and attention of the Great Lover of our soul. We were designed to want that enchanting love song sung over us. We are the perfect match for an embrace so tenderly fierce it strips away all our insecurities and envelops us in the best way. Our hearts were designed to receive a love letter written with words that move us, change us, direct us, and complete us.

We were made to live in angst without Him and in joy with Him. Even when sorrow comes, He really can make all things okay.

Misplacing those affections by placing unrealistic expectations upon our earthly love is disappointing at best, devastating at worst.

Earthly love can be wonderful. But it won't ever be complete. And setting our girls' hearts up to desire this from a boy is not healthy.

I want my girls to have Jesus in the deepest parts of their soul so that they are free to one day tenderly, realistically, forgivingly, and excitedly give the gift of their purity to a young man.

A young man who will have to get past my shotgun toting husband with a load of questions and a keen awareness of just how precious his girls are. And a young man whose skin better not glow like diamonds. I'm just saying.

I know many will see this movie and think it's a simple chick flick. A fun escape that doesn't need to be discussed. But I think these things are worth considering for both teen girls and us big girls as well.

Less Common

2009-11-23T07:51:00.004-05:00

Hi sweet friends. I am so excited so many of you are joining me on the 37 days of kindness. I have been having so much fun.

But I'll be honest. I feel a little like I now have a target on my back for interactions that don't exactly motivate my kindness.

Just the other day I was driving down the road processing one of 'those' situations and thought to myself, "sometimes I don't like people." People are complicated, messy, unpredictable...

...And completely loved by Jesus in that state.

It's easy to be kind to those who are nice. But today I want to be less common.

"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the prophets... small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it" (Matthew 7:12, 14).

Love you friends.

A video and a question

2009-11-19T06:38:00.001-05:00

Welcome to the Encouragement for Today friends~ Click here to see the photo video of my daughter's trip to Ethiopia.

And then pop back over here and join in something we're doing I'm convinced will help insure this will be one of the most meaningful Christmas Seasons we've ever had...37 days of kindness. Yesterday was day one, you can read about it by clicking here.

Now for day 2...

Let's start today with a question: Why did Jesus come?

There are many amazing reasons Jesus traded the riches of heaven for the rags of earth. To save us. To redeem us. To forgive us. To provide a direct connection between us and God. To heal us. To love us. To teach us. To direct us.

Yes. All of those are true.

But why did Jesus Himself, toward the end of His life, say He came?

I'll answer that question in just a minute. First, I want you to meet someone.

I boarded a shuttle bus on Monday in Chicago, tired from a long weekend and without much thought took a seat toward the back of the bus. Across from me sat a white haired gentleman in stylish jeans. I was impressed that a man his age would care to look so hip.

But more than his jeans, it was the expression on his face that caught my attention. He was tired, drawn, and maybe a little sad. Or was that expression on his face just a blank stare that meant nothing? I didn't want to pry. Who was I to ask him?

We were just two strangers on a random bus in the rush of a Chicago morning.

In a few minutes, he'd go his way and I'd go mine. And that's perfectly acceptable. Strangers pass unaware of each other all the time. We don't talk. We don't connect. Because really, who has time for people we don't know.

Except I'm not a stranger. Oh, he probably would have labeled me in that way- he didn't know me and had never seen me before. But that's not how I'd label myself. I'm a Jesus girl called to be more than just an observer in life.

I've been called to reach across the silence of a commuter bus and say something. So, I did. And it wasn't some deeply theological thought. It wasn't a quick thrusting of my religion in his face. It was just a hello and what brought you to Chicago.

"I was visiting my niece. I'm her only living relative and she was just told last week she's dying of bone cancer."

I asked for her name.

"Catherine."

And with that, a flood of love rushed through my heart for both a man I barely knew and I girl I would never meet this side of heaven.

"Catherine," I whispered. "Sir, I will pray for your Catherine."

"Thank you," he said quietly. "Thank you so much."

He smiled. I smiled. He got off the bus and headed back to his world. I got off the bus and headed back to my world. But a connection had been made- a divine appointment kept.

A crucial connection, a simple offer of prayers that would absolutely be prayed, a small gesture of my willingness lifted up to Jesus. A Jesus who is able to make much of my small gesture.

My Jesus who says in John 18:37 the reason He came was to make sure we could have truth.

The truth that sets us free from our selfish perspectives and prompts us to see His world through eyes of care and kindness. The truth that we don't have to be ruled by our emotions and how we are feeling, but instead be compelled by the truth and take a second or two to consider how others are feeling.

I got off that bus less tired. Less spent.

I got off that bus full.

Because a man I don't know and a dying niece I'll never meet were the perfect match for the Jesus in me. I won't soon forget Catherine. I've prayed for her everyday since. And I'm asking you to pray as well.

Today, I pray there is another person in Catherine's life who dares to be more than an observer. May they fulfill the next assignment to show her Jesus does care, He does hear her cries, He is available, He is her Savior, and He came to bring her this truth through His people that care.

37 days of kindness may not send us across the world, like it did with my daughter's trip to Ethiopia. It may simply send us across the street, or across the grocery store aisle or across a crowded bus.

Wherever God sends us, I pray we dare to be more than just an observer today.

37 days of kindness

2009-11-18T05:24:00.003-05:00

1 Corinthians 15: 58, "Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."

37 days of kindness.

That is what's on my battered little heart this morning. Maybe you slept like a baby last night- I didn't. And I can't say that I was pondering kindness during my 3 am tossing and turning.

I may have been pondering the fact that one of my kids made a poor choice this week. And it made me mad enough to want to scream and cry and stare in the mirror looking for gray hairs to rip out by their roots.

I may have been pondering why I snapped at another one of my kids yesterday who certainly didn't deserve a snappy mama.

And yet in the midst of my hormonal response to this everyday stuff, I feel this tug on my heart to enter into something special with Jesus. 37 days of kindness.

Couldn't Jesus ask someone else?

Surely, there are many more than me with purified hearts, who aren't nearly as vain about gray hairs, and who know whether you spell grey hairs- gray or grey. Either way, I'll take mine dyed a nice chestnut brown or I'll pluck them in a hissy fit and feel happy about doing it.

So.

Anyhow.

I find that these everyday life happenings move me sometimes. A slight shift away from the godly woman my soul literally aches to be. Moving. Shifting. And not in a good way. They move me to become self-absorbed, self-condemning, self-labeling, self-conscious, and all together focused on my problems, my short comings, my life.

It's in these times where I'm tempted to set Jesus on the shelf and apologetically promise to try and get it all together tomorrow and we'll try this sold out life thing again.

Just let me stew and cry and be in a bad mood today. Let me rush through my day with a slight scowl keeping everyone at arm's length away. Let me honk at the slow driver and not say thank you to the fast food worker who gets my order wrong.

And then my heart bumps into a verse that grabs me up from my little party of pity, gets in my face, and reminds me I was made for more. Staring deeply into my soul, it's as if Jesus Himself jumps from my Bible and says, "Sweetheart, remember who you are."

1 Corinthians 15: 58, "Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."

So, I say I'm sorry. Like I've done hundreds of times before... I offer up what seems to me like a pitiful apology. And like Jesus always does, He accepts it as if it's the grandest gift in the world.

I love my Jesus.

I love Him for loving me exactly the way I am but so much so that He refuses to leave me unchanged.

There are 37 days before Jesus' birthday this year. And despite my propensity to take things personally and respond emotionally and pluck gray hairs frantically, I've decided to enter into this crazy adventure with Jesus called 37 days of kindness.

For the next 37 days, in honor of my Jesus' birthday, I'm going to intentionally look for someone in my day who needs a touch of Jesus' love. And when I bump into that person in the grocery store, or on-line, or at Target in the hair-dye aisle, I'll pause.

Yes, in the midst of the craziness called my life, I will pause. And I'll touch that person's life with either a little of my encouragement, resources, or time. So, that by Christmas Day this year I'll be able to say to my Jesus 37 people- that is my gift to you.

It's not much from a crazy follower like me. But it's a start. It's a really good start.

37 days of kindness. Care to join me?

Let me know if you need anything...

2009-11-17T06:53:00.002-05:00

A few months ago, I got to spend some time with a lady named Pam.

She’s a snappy senior executive for Nike with two kids who could have her picture beside the word “beautiful” in the dictionary. She’d read my book “What Happens When Women Walk in Faith” and decided to ask me to speak at her church.

As Holly and I got to know her during the booking and event planning process, she shared with us bits and pieces of the tragedy she was living through with her husband. Sean was slowly dying.

He’d been diagnosed six years ago with a rare disease that caused part of his brain to atrophy. Slowly he lost his mobility, his memory, and eventually all ability to function on his own. Every day her life consisted of working full time, taking care of two teenagers, and spending time caring for her husband who may or may not be able to communicate with her.

She asked if I ever saw the movie “The Notebook.” It was like that. Sometimes he came back to her for fleeting moments. And then as quickly as a summer breeze sneaks up on you, his disease would draw black curtains over his mind and he’d be gone.

Six years.

Six years of wheelchairs, adult diapers, complicated medicines, horrific medical bills, and watching the love of your life slip into a shell of a person. By the time he died earlier this year, this strapping, athletic, young, muscular, smart, rising executive, Jesus loving, charming, love of her life was a mere 80 pounds.

I can hardly wrap my brain around all Pam has been through the past 6 years.

When I asked her about some of the life lessons she learned from all she’d been through, she was quick to say something that will forever stick with me. “When people are going through hard life circumstances, don’t say to them…If there’s anything you need just let me know.”

Pam couldn’t think about how she was going to get through the next ten minutes some days. Much less be able to think of ways for others to help. Plus, it’s hard to ask for help.

I won’t soon forget Pam’s words.

I pray I never forget them.

Instead, I will be challenged to put myself in Pam’s shoes and do whatever I might need done.

Deliver dinner. Get her car and take it to be cleaned, filled with gas, and serviced if needed. Get my son to mow her grass. Pick up an extra gallon of milk, lunch box items for her kids, or pet food from the grocery store.

Whatever… be it big or small. Just do it. I won't ask ‘if I can help…’ rather, I'll just step in and do something.

Is there someone in your life today that could use a small touch of care? Why not do something… anything. And if they ask why, tell them there was this amazing man named Sean with an amazing wife named Pam who once taught you a beautiful lesson.

And don’t be surprised if you feel this sense that heaven is smiling down on you after that… from what Pam shared, Sean was just the kind of guy who could make that happen.

A little Monday morning excitement

2009-11-16T07:17:00.005-05:00

Y'all I'm so excited. Which is a fun feeling for a Monday morning because sometimes the Monday morning, she overwhelms me with all her expectations.

But on this Monday morning there is this little jumping up and down dancing feeling in my heart because I talked to the cruise people last week and so many of you have signed up they've decided to to extend the $100 cabin discount until this Friday... November 20th.

Please give them a call if you have any questions you would like to ask them. They are super nice and helpful - 1-800/889-5265.

And word on the street has it that my mama might be saving her pennies to join us.

Y'all have never met fun until you've met my mom.

Have I ever told you about the time my mom made headlines in our city's paper because she rescued a bunch of baby possums and nursed them back to health with a heating pad and eye droppers full of milk?

I had never been so proud in all my young years to have a mama that was such a celebrity.

And then I continued my family's possum legacy years later when I was out for a morning run and discovered a mama possum that had been hit by a car the night before. I think I told you this story.

Warning if you are eating right now, you may want to walk away and come back later.

Okay, don't say I didn't warn you.

Many of the babies were still in her pouch. In the pouch of her smooshed body. But my love of everything baby could not let me just run past and leave them. So, I won't tell you how I got the babies out except to say I had nothing but my bare hands and a strong mama instinct to rescue.

These creatures would later grow up under the care of a woman affectionately called 'the possum lady' in our town and then be released back into the wild to get into every one's trash and scare women who heard them scurrying around outside at night and were convinced someone was breaking into their home.

See? Don't ever say I have not contributed significantly to our society y'all.

So, back to the cruise.

Another word on the street is that I have just about figured out a way to give a cruise away. Away. That means a free cruise to two really cool chicks. Y'all. I am so excited about that possibility!

If any of you have any fantastic contest ideas... please share.

My mama and I have some ideas. But who can trust women who find great delight in rescuing baby trash diggers?

I am nothing if not extremely proud of my legacy.

Happy Monday y'all.

Oh yes, and one more thing. Tomorrow is the free conference call for anyone who has posted an Amazon review for my book. It's not too late to get in on this. All you have to do is post a few of your thoughts by clicking here and e-mailing Holly@Proverbs31.org for the access codes.

I can't wait to chat with you tomorrow~

Congrats to Eagles Wings and her friend Vickie... you won the friendship giveaway in honor of my friend Anne.

Friendship Giveaway in honor of Anne

2009-11-12T05:27:00.011-05:00

Welcome Encouragement for Today Readers. I'm having a special "friends giveaway" today. To enter, click on the word 'comments' below and follow the prompts.

If you don't have a blog, you can still enter your comment as anonymous and leave your e-mail address in the body of your message.

Last year I lost a dear friend to cancer. I miss her and catch myself forgetting she's gone. I still have her cell number programmed in my phone and have even called it a couple of times just to hear her cheery voice tell me she's not available right now.

No, she's not available and that makes me sad. I'm fully aware that her family will probably shut her phone off soon and then her voice will be gone from my life forever. And that really makes me sad.

I met Anne in the funniest of ways.

Her neighbor's Proverbs 31 Woman Magazine was delivered to her by mistake. But she found herself intrigued by the articles and decided keep the magazine for a few days before taking it to its rightful owner.

A few days turned into weeks and I'm not sure Anne ever did return her neighbor's magazine. Years later, Anne became a board member for our ministry and we laughed that she'd stolen her way into Proverbs 31... literally.

She also stole her way into our hearts and will be there forever. Her gentle voice. Her graceful nature. The way she could make a tennis skirt and pony tail look like a fashion statement. And the generous way she gave away her love, her resources, her life, and her beautiful gift of writing.

Today isn't Anne's birthday. Today isn't the anniversary of her death. It's just a rainy Thursday on a normal fall day. A day that would have been perfect to meet Anne for lunch.

We would have hit the pause button on life for an hour or so and chatted. And I would have left her with a hug and walked to my car thinking, "I love that girl."

All this got me to thinking about how I can treasure the friends I do have with more appreciation and depth and connection.

I think the answer is conversation- rich conversation- not just the quick catching up and the surface talk we're prone to. But digging a little deeper and talking about life heart to heart.

So, why not on this normal fall day, capture the gift of this moment with a friend and connect. Here are some blog posts that might serve as conversation starters: Where Was God and A Mess.

And in honor of my friend Anne, I'm doing a little friendship giveaway. All you have to do is tell me about the friend you plan to connect with today.

Then you can double your chances of winning if that friend visits this blog at some point today through this weekend and leaves a comment with both of your names in it.

I'll pick one lucky winner to win two gift packs... one to keep and one to share with a friend. The gift packs include:

2- $5 Starbucks gift cards

2- P31 Woman Magazine subscriptions

2- Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl books

Fun! Fun! Please join in!

A post that requires a little bit of math

2009-11-11T07:12:00.003-05:00

Math is not exactly my thing. I am a words girl. But many of you e-mailed and posted questions about the pricing structure of the cruise, so I found this handy dandy little pricing chart here.

But remember give them the pass code "Proverbs 31" when you call and they will take $100 off the price you see on that chart.

And because I like my bloggy friends to be the first to know inside scoop on stuff, I am totally looking for a way to give a cruise away. I have no idea how yet... but I am working on it.

Yes, I am.

I would totally love to win the lottery and just buy out the whole ship for my bloggy friends. But since I don't play the lottery, I'm guessing that strategy isn't what I should bank on.

I'll keep you posted.

I have however scored another coupon for you that I'm totally excited about. The fine gals at DaySpring have some pretty swanky Christmas Card designs and they are offering my bloggy friends 15% off any card orders between now and December 7!

All you have to do is post a sure fire way for me to cure the stinging and swelling from the wasp that attacked me the other night.

Oh I kid. You have to do nothing except enter this code... CHILDREN15 ... when you order your cards from here.

The best part... I totally love this part!... is that 6% of all card orders using this code will be donated to the kids at Compassion Int. See those sweet faces from the Compassion button on the right hand side of my blog? Not my big head on my book... the ones below that. Yes, you'll be helping them out and getting cool cards at a discount.

Here's the card I designed. Actually, this is the card that my friend Stephanie designed that I totally copied because copying is the highest form of flattery and my wasp stings were hindering my creativity yesterday.

And by the way, did I mention I was stung by a wasp twice the other night? Once in the stomach and once in the ribs. But good thing I am being such a brave girl and not complaining or talking about it much. Courageous and tough- that's just the way I roll y'all.

I'll bring the dance moves, you bring the sunscreen

2009-11-10T06:13:00.012-05:00

Y'all!!!

The Cruise people called!!!

Just imagine a little less than a year from now... October 14- 18, 2010...

You and I are chatting it up while digging our toes into the sandy shores of a tropical beach. We'll start in Ft. Lauderdale then go to Key West and Cozumel, Mexico.

No laundry. No appointments. No stress. No dogs choking on chicken bones.

Just an expanse of ocean stretching before us and a few days making memories we'll never forget. It's good for friends to hit the pause button on life every now and then.

We always think there will be time for things like this later. But what if later could be now? What if later should be now?

I'll admit, I struggled a little writing about all this because I know finances are tight and the last place we think we should spend our money is on ourselves. But sometimes it's a really good investment for our families if we invest in some girlfriend recharging time for us.

So, if we start saving now we can totally make this happen. The Girlfriend's Getaway Cruise has a monthly payment option. So, cut out a few lattes here and pinch your pennies there. Ask for money toward this trip for Christmas and your birthday. It adds up quickly.

And before you know it we'll be giggling together and acting all stalkerish with Karen Kingsbury, Angela Thomas, Renee Swope, Shari Braendel, Carol Kent, and several other really cool people who'll be speaking refreshing messages of encouragement into our lives.

I'll be speaking on "Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl" and "What Every Wife Should Know."

And for you writers and speakers... I'll be hosting a special speakers and writers Q&A with Karen Kingsbury, Renee Swope and a few others. You'll get the inside scoop like never before about getting your ministry started!

A cruise ship full of women connecting, laughing, and learning about Jesus.

Hey, I'll even teach you the MC Hammer at one of the dances y'all. As long as I remember my patch that keeps me walking straight. Or dancing straight in this case.

Anywho.

It will be fun.

And I totally want you to come. So, I arranged for a coupon. Because that's what Southern girls do. We tease our hair. We add extra syllables to our words. And we find coupons for the craziest things.

Here it is... To use it just tell the cruise lady to please apply the "Proverbs 31 pass code discount" when you call 1-800-889-5265. But don't wait because this sale price is only good until November 13th.

And please, please, please don't assume you can't go before talking with them. They are so great about helping break the price down in a way you just might be able to work it out!

On a completely different note... does anyone else have an issue with wasps taking up residence in your home during this time of year? Well, one flew down my shirt last night and stung me twice.

I'm pretty certain if you live somewhere on Earth you might have heard me screaming last night.

And, I'm pretty certain there will be no wasps on this cruise ship. Which is yet another reason we must go girls.

Anyone up for it?

_________________________________

And congrats to last Thursday's winner of my two book give-away -momof3boys32@aol.com!

I cried and then I went skating

2009-11-09T06:38:00.001-05:00

What a weekend.

I should have known it was going to be a little crazy when I woke up Friday morning to my dog making a noise I can't quite describe. He had a cough. But not like a normal cough. More like, "I have a chicken bone in my throat and need to be rushed to the vet right now" cough.

Sure enough, as I was rushing about trying to get him in the car, I found chicken bones and splinters scattered throughout the kitchen. Bummer.

I'm happy to report that Champ is fine but must now be given 4 pills a day. Y'all. Let me let that "4 pills a day" sink in just a tad. It's not like you just hand a dog a glass of water and say, "swig 'er down boy." Oh no.

Praise the Lord for the invention of sliced cheese and my discovery that if one opens up the pills and smushes (is that a word?) all the powder into the cheese forming a doggy cheese medicine ball- life is good.

Friday night Art and I spent one hour with our son home from college. One hour. One hour where we met at a restaurant and I tried with all my might to be a big girl and not cry and carry on about how much I miss him.

I did good.

Sorry English majors. I meant, I did well.

Then the one hour was up.

And I did not do so well.

Those dang hormones.

But I had a trick up my sleeve that would give me one more hour of time with my son the next morning. The Family Christmas photo session.

Oh yes.

The joy of every fall at the TerKeurst home. I'm happy to report I didn't hurt anyone. Although I'm pretty certain several of my offspring and one husband may have wanted to hurt me with all my "but the light isn't quite right in those 15 shots and for Pete's sake why is it so hard for you people to look happy," comments.

My people are emotionally allergic to the photograph.

Mercy.

Then we had a wedding to attend on Saturday afternoon.

See? Can you feel the absolute joy my husband must have been feeling about his Saturday- a wedding and Christmas photos? Could life get any better for a man cub? All he had to miss was a little arm chair quarterbacking. Alabama was playing somebody in some big game--- football I think. And it was a really big deal. Something about rankings and status and who knows what else.

But none of that would be.

Because a blushing bride and a handsome groom had requested our presence.

Sigh. I think every married couple should have to go to at least one wedding a year. Kind of like continued ed courses medical people have to take.

After the wedding we spent our Saturday night with me smooshing (how do you spell that word?) dog medicine into a cheese ball and Art watching a taped Alabama football game. Our boys were out with friends. And our girls made up dances to teenie bopper songs and needed me to watch their masterpieces in between all my cheese ball making.

Life- I think some of that should be in the vows we take and make. I promise to love you through chicken bone emergencies-missed football games- teenie bopper performances- hormonal tears about our college son's absence-and the annual dreaded Christmas photo session.

Lastly, my weekend was topped off with a trip the Skating rink on Sunday after church. A friend of Brooke's was having his 10th birthday party.

Y'all I forgot how much I love skating.

I may or may not have danced while sporting some of my more stellar skating techniques much to the embarrassment of my daughter. And I may or may not have raced the birthday boy and won.

Oh yes ma'am.

I may or may not have thought about how I distinctly remember being in 4th grade at the skating rink dreaming of what my husband would one day be like. What my life would one day be like.

And as I was doing the hokie-pokie and turning myself around I smiled at my chicken bone choking, wedding attending, football interrupting, Christmas photo taking life.... and I sang out loud, "that's what it's all about!"

I'll post the winner of last week's contest tomorrow. And I have a BIG HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT tomorrow.

I can't wait!

In the meantime, if you live in or around Lake Charles, Louisiana...I would love to meet you at Trinity Baptist Church this coming weekend. I might even show you some of my hokie pokie moves. Or not.

Chosen

2009-11-05T00:01:00.003-05:00

Welcome to those of you visiting from my "Encouragement for Today" devotion. The verses you are looking for are woven throughout this post below.

Today's post was taken in part from a chapter in "Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl." And I'm giving two copies away today.

Just leave a comment below by clicking on the word comments and follow the prompts. If you aren't a blogger, you are welcome to post as anonymous- just make sure to leave an e-mail address so we can contact you if you win.

And a big thank you for those who did a review over at Amazon for my book. Remember to e-mail Holly@Proverbs31.org once posting your review and you'll gain free access to my upcoming Q&A about the book. I can't wait to chat with you soon~

I was in the audience at a concert one night amazed by the size of the arena, the volume of the cheers and applause, and the excitement of being in this moment. At one point all eyes went to a ten year old little girl who was acknowledged by the singer and given the happy birthday wish of a lifetime.

As I sat there and thought about how exciting it must have been for that little girl to get the attention thousands others craved from this star, my mind wandered away from the concert.

I imagined Jesus standing up on that stage. I imagined the whole crowd fading away as He points his finger straight up to me. Little ol’ insignificant me, sitting in row 116, section R, seat 24. And then He speaks straight to me, “I love you Lysa and I have chosen you. Can we spend some time talking about this?”

I smiled. Then the reality of the concert brought real life crashing back. To the rock star the person sitting in row 116, section R, seat 24 is just another face in the crowd.

But to Jesus there is no such thing as just another face in the crowd. Somehow to God, we are all unique souls who He desires to call out, recognize and invite into a more intimate setting.

Unlike a human pop star, Jesus can give this kind of individual attention without excluding others. Every single person in the crowd could have their own individual encounter with Him. The only requirements are the desire to experience Him and the belief that it is possible. Sadly, very few people have either of these.

I know. I used to have the kind of relationship with God where I viewed Him as The One who makes sweeping glances over thousands of people per minute just to make sure no one was getting out of line. But the possibility to have God pause in the midst of everyday life to spend a little time with just me wasn’t in my scope of possibilities at all.

It almost seems a bit presumptuous to think God would want to notice me, choose me, call on me, and converse with me- doesn’t it?

Maybe the answer to this question is yes in human terms but not in Biblical terms.

In human terms the word “chosen,” sends my mind reeling back to playground kickball days. These were not some of my finer childhood memories.

“Chosen” was not at all a word I would have used to describe myself.

So, when I first heard that word in relation to God’s feelings toward me, I couldn’t process it. In human terms it did seem quite presumptuous to think that God would pause to pay attention to me. My earthly Daddy never did that. My kickball team mates certainly didn’t do that. It seemed quite upside down to think that a girl the world ignored and passed over would actually be handpicked, on purpose, by God.

The Bible is full of reassurances that this is exactly the way God wants us to process life.

Colossians 3: 12 says, “Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”

Psalm 25:12 says, “Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD ? He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.”

And John 15:19 says, “If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world.”

I am a chosen person, with a chosen way, who has been handpicked by God on purpose to live a chosen life set apart in this world. But please don’t mistake this as an exclusive country club type membership. No, this is the truth that every person can stand on no matter their race, background, or their past. If you proclaim Jesus Christ, son of God, as your Lord and Savior, this is your chosen reality.

The problem is we have been trained to process life based on the way we feel. We think we must feel love for love to exist. We think we must feel wanted for it to be true that we are chosen. We think we must feel God’s presence for Him to really be close. But God never meant for us to feel our way to Him.

God wants us to stand on the absolute truth that He is with us no matter how our feelings may try and betray that reality. When I process life through my feelings I am left deceived and disillusioned. When I process life through God’s truth I am divinely comforted by His love and made confident in His calling on my life.

So, back to that concert when Jesus gave me the visual of Him calling out to me- choosing me, I learned something profound that night.

God made each of us with a vulnerable place inside our souls to be wanted, loved, and chosen above all others. I think that’s what ultimately drives people on both sides of an arena filled stage. The one on the stage is looking to have this vulnerable placed filled by the screaming crowd. The screaming crowd somehow thinks this famous person has it all figured out so if they can just get close maybe some of that fulfillment will rub off on them.

All the while Jesus stands off to the side and wonders if anyone realizes He’s the One our souls long for… not the fame… not the attention of the famous… and not the millions of other things we’ll spend our lives thinking we must have.

The answer to our deepest desires is not the seemingly perfect life… not the most romantic husband…not the smartest and most well behaved kids… not the bigger house… not the better job… not the awards and recognition of man and not in trying to feel our way to God.

It’s making the choice to recognize that God is close. Whether we’re at a concert, on a playground in the middle of a sorry kickball game, or sitting in a chair in our den- God is there. Loving. Assuring. Teaching. Calling. Choosing to spend time with us.

Becoming more than a good Bible Study Girl means never settling for needing to feel our way to God or to simply limit our experience of Him to those few minutes we call our quiet time.

It’s being able to sit in the noise of the arena of life with every worldly distraction imaginable bombarding you and suddenly thinking of Him- talking with Him- smiling with Him- and realizing every longing I’ve ever had in life to be more than just the girl in row 116, section R, seat 24 is already filled. By Him. The One who sees me as chosen.