When life falls apart...

If you are visiting here from the Proverbs 31 devotion today, welcome. I'm glad you're here. If you'd like the list of verses about God's provision, please e-mail Holly@Proverbs31.org and she'll e-mail them to you. If you'd like to see the story of my family, click here. But first, I hope you'll read this...

I have a friend whose life used to be like a treasured love letter. Each day she'd open up the well creased paper and live out the gentle familiarity with great joy.

Her life read of love, purpose, tradition, stability, respect, and faith. Day by day, layer upon layer her legacy decorated the edges of her love letter with strokes of consistent beauty.

Then one shocking day, she awoke to find that someone she trusted very much had knowingly and willfully torn her love letter in half. Shocked and hurt she asked this someone to tape it back together.

Though the letter would never quite look the same, eventually a heart of forgiveness and eyes of grace allowed her to see the letter as lovely once more.

Her little letter had been through a lot, but, strangely enough, didn't seem as fragile as it had years before. The paper felt more stable then it had ever felt. And she found that good could even come from the rips and tears of life.

Healing days turned into healing years and soon the paper's scar faded so much you could hardly tell it had been torn.

There was joy. But then sorrow returned.

One morning she awoke to find her letter missing. Frantic and desperate she threw open her front door gasping for air. And there, to her great horror, she saw bits and pieces of her letter swirling and being carried away in the wind. Her letter, her life, everything precious and seemingly protected, was never to be the same again.

This time it wasn't just tattered and torn. It was shredded beyond repair.

She collapsed in a heap of tears. Grief like she'd never known overtook her. She went to bed and thought she'd stay there forever.

The days were suddenly dark. The nights were way too long. The hours seemed to creep along in torturous spans. Each minute so painful she wondered how much longer her heart could continue its beat by beat rhythm.

Then one day she willed herself out of bed. Maybe it was the longing for her letter of old. Maybe it was wishful thinking. Maybe it was the purest form of raw hope. She walked outside among the pieces and parts of her life's letter.

Ragged edges on each torn piece spoke loudly of the state of the circumstances she couldn't escape. But looking closely, she discovered something wondrous. Though the torn apart letter couldn't be read in sentences and paragraphs, the individual words were still clear.

Piece by piece she picked up the fragments of paper and read them one word at a time. So many of the words were glorious. Absolutely glorious. Her life was still there.

And though the letter would never be read exactly the same as it had, for the first time in a long while she saw beauty. Gathering the pieces together, she starting lining them up in rows. Old words- new sentences.

The letter of her life took on a new meaning. All the truth that seemed to be shredded with the old letter, was still there.

Truth still meant truthful. Full of truth.

Grace still meant graceful. Full of grace.

Joy still meant joyful. Full of joy.

And beauty still meant beautiful. Full of beauty.

Which is exactly what God kept whispering to her but she couldn't seem to understand how anything so broken could ever be made whole again.

Sometimes whole doesn't mean put back together the exact right way. For if someone discovers fullness within each broken piece, each part takes on a wholeness of its own.

So, for the first time in a long while she smiled. And while she never thought she could be happy with a letter read in pieces one word at a time, she found the fullness in each word and rediscovered her life.

She closed every door to her old life, picked up her pieces, and in complete fullness walked on.
_______________________________________________________

Hey, sweet sisters. Thanks for hanging with me through some tough topics this week. I pray that something shared here on the blog has been a blessing to your heart and healing to a hurting place in your soul.

I wanted to let those of you who live in the Charlotte, NC area know of a wonderful conference my husband is hosting at our home church next Friday, May 8th. It's the Maximum Impact Simulcast. You can read more about it here.

I'll be there. Art will be there. Chick-fil-A will be served for lunch. And we'd love to meet you!

If you're interested in attending, tickets can be purchased by calling Adrianne at 678-464-9599.

Daddy is near

Welcome to the Encouragement for Today Devotion readers. Today, I want to share just two verses that can be a great comfort to us when we need to be reminded of God's provision.

In the corner of my bedroom, behind an overstuffed chair, there is a stack of blankets. Soft blankets. Welcoming, warm, and well used blankets. Blankets that speak of safety, security, and sweet surroundings.

The other night, my youngest daughter had a bad dream and sleepily made her way to my bedside. "Mommy, I'm scared."

That's why I have that stack of blankets.

A soft stack of evidence that everything is going to be okay. Not because the blankets themselves are safe; it's where the blankets are placed that comforts Brooke's heart.

They're near her Daddy.

Though Art sleeps like a rock normally, something stirred his heart awake as soon as I'd gotten Brooke settled into the make shift bed of blankets. He got up and went to snuggle his frightened little girl.

Daddy is here. Daddy is near.

And Brooke's heart was comforted.

Not because Daddy went upstairs and checked under the bed, behind the door, and in the closet. Not because Daddy chased away the object of her fears. Not because he did anything about the source of her fear.

She was comforted simply by her Daddy being near.

This reminds me some verses in Philippians that I love.

Philippians 4:6 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I like that verse but without quoting it in context, it's stripped of it's power. The last 4 words of Philippians 4:5 are the power source that unlocks the peace of God that transcends all understanding.

Those four words are, "The Lord is near."

Daddy is near.

And because He's near, we don't have to be anxious- we can have peace that rises above any circumstance. Any circumstance.

Daddy is here. Daddy is near.

Don't get paralyzed by pornography

Sweet Sisters-

I know this is a heavy subject but as you can see from the heart ache woven throughout the comments yesterday, it is, unfortunately, necessary.

A big thank you to Clay Crosse. Clay, I so appreciate you sharing your heart, insights and advice today. What a gift to us to have a man so openly answering our questions. Thank you!

One thing I feel I must share sisters is don't get paralyzed by this issue. Yes, pornography is big but we serve a much bigger God who is ABLE to help anyone rise above this pit. Keep praying sisters! Keep praying.

Ask God to make you wiser than you've ever been. Ask Him to show you any open doors of help you are supposed to walk through. (A great first door might be to order Clay or Renee's books by clicking here.) And ask God daily to help you see that Satan is the enemy here- not your husband.

Don't be a woman of accusation, be a woman of prayer who is not afraid to do battle on behalf of her husband- her sons- and herself in the spiritual realm. It's time to fight sisters! Fight for those you love so dearly.

And fight against the bitterness and hopelessness than can so easily go hand in hand with this messy issue.

I love you sisters. That's why I think these posts are crucial to address. And please know I am praying for each of you.

Now, here's Clay's wife, Renee~

“We Need to Talk…”

What is it about the sound of those words? When I hear them, I automatically hear ominous music playing in my head. The words are usually followed up with bad news. Or at least, that’s my personal experience.

Such was my experience with them in the summer of 1998. Clay turned to me as we sat in church and asked me to get a babysitter for our girls, because "We need to talk." See what I mean?

Clay and I spent that afternoon in the family room of our home. It was that day that Clay confessed to me his struggle with pornography. To say that I was shocked is an understatement.

I knew that God was dealing with Clay about something, but I never expected it to be, pornography. I was so confused and angry. But just as quickly as the anger arose, another emotion came into my heart and mind. I blamed myself.

If he were satisfied, why would he need that material? Satan was seeking to destroy! He was going after my husband with this secret sin, and he was going after me, filling my head with doubt, anger, blame, and fear.

Clay told me that he had rededicated his life to Christ and wanted to come clean about this sin and he was asking me to forgive him. What I have come to realize in the years that followed this moment, is that the porn was just a symptom, not the problem.

The problem was a Christian man not fully committed to the Lord. Clay began to draw closer to God through his rededication, and I saw the impact that had on his
life.

I forgave Clay when he asked but it took years to heal and rebuild trust. Clay started meeting with an accountability partner and studying his Bible like never before. I saw growth in my husband’s life.

Through this season of our life, God allowed us to write a book sharing our testimony. “I Surrender All- Rebuilding a Marriage Broken by Pornography”.

I have to admit, it would be a lot more fun being the poster children for “Got Milk” but God had a different poster that he wanted us to stand in front of.

Psalm 34:5 states, "Those who look to the Lord are radiant, their faces are not covered in shame." While there is shame in the sin, the victory comes when you release this to Jesus.

God has also allowed me to write a Bible Study for women. “Reclaiming
Stolen Intimacy-When Your Marriage is Invaded by Pornography.” It’s designed to be completed in a small group setting but individuals can also complete the study on their own.

I don’t pretend to have all the answers to this problem. And, it is surreal to see that God has opened up the doors for us to develop a ministry, holyhomes.org.

Through this ministry, Clay and I speak to Christian homes about the importance of being set-apart and holy. So much of our teaching and conferences have very little to do with pornography, but we always tell our testimony.

Why? Because we hear from hundreds of families who are being torn apart by this sin. We must continue to tell of the victory we have experienced and what God has done in our marriage.

He stands ready to do the same for you.

Renee Crosse, is the wife of Christian Recording Artist, Clay Crosse. They have 4 children and reside in Arlington, TN. She is a speaker and author and co-founder of HolyHomes Ministries.

Thank you, Renee, for sharing your hurt, your hope, and your healing journey. Just like yesterday, feel free to ask Renee questions today in the comments. And of course, you may post your comment as anonymous.

Sadly, it's also a reality in the church

Just so you know- we're going somewhere tough today.

Hardly a week goes by that I don't have a broken woman come to my book table in tears over choices her husband has made. So many of the tragic stories I hear have deep roots that started with pornography.

And while I know there are also women who struggle with this issue, I want to focus on what can happen when a husband ventures into pornography.

It's one of those messy subjects that we Christians like to shy away from. I certainly don't want to write this post and suddenly have thousands of you become suspicious with your husband. But, I also don't think it's wise for us to stick our heads in the sand about it either.

Pornography is a reality of the broken world we live in.

Sadly, it's also a reality in the church.

A few years ago, I had the privilege to meet Clay Crosse, the super talented Christian musician and his beautiful wife, Renee while I was speaking at a conference. I thought they were at the conference to lead praise and worship.

But they weren't there to share their music. They were there to share their story. Their testimony about pornography.

Here's a little of Clay's story:

Hurtful words…..but necessary words

Imagine your husband saying this to you…."Honey, I have been looking at pornography, but I want to stop and I’m asking you to forgive me."

Despite the humble, contrite, and repentant nature of his words, it would still sting to hear such a confession.

In 1998 I said those very words to my wife, Renee. It was something that I just had to tell her because I knew that it was a situation that was only getting worse and I wanted it to end.

I didn't want my marriage to end, mind you. I just wanted to prevent further harm to me. To us.

Though it might sound like a terrible day, (and granted it was very, very tough) it was actually a new beginning in our marriage that we now look back on with thanksgiving because of how God has blessed us since.

You may be reading this and just wishing your husband would come clean about his habit. Or perhaps your husband has indeed come to you in the past with such a confession. Or maybe you’re thinking that your husband would never utter such a thing.

Either way, the statistics support that more wives than not have a husband who struggles to one degree of another with pornography.

This is a hurtful realization for a wife. And the hurt doesn't stop with her. The damage flows to all areas of a man’s life. To his character, self-esteem, and dignity. To his kids, who now have a very distracted and self centered dad. To his career because of a lack of focus and thought life at work.

And yes, his struggle hits his wife directly on a deeply personal level.

What to do?

Many women feel helpless in this fight, thinking there's nothing they can do. They are wounded and feel like their husband is completely unaware, or just doesn't care, how this makes them feel.

I want to encourage you, as someone who has lived this story, to know that you have hope. God cares about this and wants to see you and your husband healed and healthy.

You might be asking, "So what can I do to begin the healing process?"

Well I must tell you… a lot of this falls on your husband and his willingness to begin the process with you. If he’s closed to the idea, then it’s not going to happen. So again you may be asking..."Then what can
I do about it? I don't want to nag, but what am I supposed to do?"

Pray!

Begin by earnestly praying for your husband. Yes pray. And don’t think, "Is that ALL I can do?" It’s effective and powerful. I know this because my wife, Renee, became a prayer warrior during our crisis and God definitely heard and acted.

He will hear you as well.

Begin by praying for these items specifically:

1.) Your husband’s heart to soften and for him to see that this it is a real problem in his life. Like I mentioned, if he’s hard hearted, prideful, denying, and resistant, then nothing will change. But if his heart begins to soften regarding this situation, real change can come.

2.) The right voice to speak into his life. I’m talking about another man to have real talks with him about this and other issues that men face. An accountability partner perhaps. Or a mentor. A friend, in the truest sense.

Note: I’m not suggesting that this voice be yours. God will use you in equally powerful ways, just not this way. He needs a new voice. A peer.

3.) For God to take this problem from your hands. Understand, you should not carry this burden and God wants you to release it to Him. "Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7
NKJV)

Take a good look at that word "casting." It means to literally throw or fling something. To shed or discard. To release. Don’t you want to release this once and for all? God wants to take it from you because He cares.

Thank you Clay. I've asked Clay to be a guest on my blog today not just to share his story but to also participate in some dialog on this subject.

So, if you have questions you'd like to ask, please do so. And since this is such a touchy subject, please feel free to post your questions anonymously.

Clay will be checking in several times to today, to be a voice of truth and hope on this subject, so if you've ever wanted to ask a godly man's perspective on this issue, now's your chance. Post your questions by clicking on the word, comments below.

And be sure to join in tomorrow as Clay's wife, Renee, will be with us sharing her side of the story and answering questions as well.

Clay Crosse is a three-time Dove Award winner including the 1994 New Artist of the year.-He has had 9 #1 songs including “I Surrender All,” “He Walked a Mile,”“I Will Follow Christ,” and "Saving The World."

Clay and his wife Renee have been married since 1990 and are blessed with four children.
Clay and Renee, through their ministry HolyHomes, speak at various seminars and conferences nationwide along with his extensive concert schedule.

Holy Homes Ministries challenges Christian homes to be less like the world and more like Christ. This dynamic ministry was founded by Clay and Renee Crosse after they went through a life changing recommitment to Christ in 1998. ------ for more info, visit holyhomes.org

Not Yet

Little ruffles my tail feathers quite as much as being awakened repeatedly during my night time sleep. Or going the fridge and discovering that the few food items I am permitted to eat during this no sugar season have been enjoyed by someone who can eat ANYTHING IN THE WORLD!

Y'all, both makes mama want to break bad on somebody.

That's awful I know, but heavens it's true. Other than that, I am a pretty easy going, southern speaking, Italian with a few firecrackers in her blood.

So.

About the no sleep night I experienced. Our sweet little Chelsea dog is not the brightest bulb in the lamp around cars. As such, she had her second unfortunate encounter with a moving vehicle last weekend.

Other than the broken front leg, a severely scraped up back leg, and a nose with half the flesh missing- she faired okay. Mercy.

The vet informed us that in order for her leg to properly heal, we have to keep her calm for three weeks.

I asked if he could give her some nerve pills and throw a few in for me too. I am not beyond borrowing some of my dog's medicine if it keeps me from the crazy house. Because that is exactly where I thought I might be headed having just been handed the assignment to keep my dog still for three weeks.

It would be a challenge to keep Chelsea still for 3 minutes. But 3 weeks???

Well, last night all that stillness got the best of sweet Chelsea and she decided she would punish me with a fit of whining, crying, and banging my closed bathroom door. She wanted out. She wanted outside. She wanted to run and chase some unsuspecting night creature.

To be honest I wanted her to be able to run and chase a night creature too. Oh did I ever. But my love for this dog would not permit me to allow her to harm herself.

Her brokenness couldn't handle that kind of freedom.

Not yet.

And as I tossed and turned in the wee hours of the morning, the truth behind that statement about Chelsea's brokenness struck me as quite applicable to myself as well.

Sometimes I ask God for things and when I don't get them, I can find my spirit whining and crying and banging on the door of what I think would be best for me. But God's love for me will not permit me to do certain things.

My brokenness can't handle that kind of freedom.

Not yet.

I smiled a sleepy smile and thanked God for some of those seemingly unanswered prayers.

And I secretly hoped Art would wake up and do something about that crying, whining, banging on the door - dog. I'm all mature like that.

Not to beat a dead snake

I know, I know the saying from the title is supposed to be about a horse. But I like horses and I don't snakes. The end.

And I know you are probably over me talking about the whole no sugar thing, but hang with me. Maybe something about today's post will strike some kind of applicable chord with you.

So, I spoke at a Pregnancy Care dinner last night and heard the most amazing song. Most of the lyrics were simply, "I love you Jesus, I love you Jesus."

I was captivated by the song and felt it resonating in the deepest part of my soul.

The only thing distracting me at that moment was the most delicious looking dessert I've ever wanted. It was singing the 80's Human League hit, "Don't you want me baby? Don't you want me ohhhhhhhhhh?"

That's the problem with 80's music. It was so good, it comes back to you at the most unexpected times and gets stuck like dryer lint in the filter of your mind.

So while my soul was connecting with the praise song, my tastebuds were singing a dedicated tune to the chocolate dessert in front of me, "Yes, I want you baby. Yes, I want you ohhhhhhhh."

It was a battle y'all.

Isn't that the way all temptations are? Our souls sing of our love of Jesus while our flesh seeks to throw us off key by wanting something less. So much less.

And oh the rationalizations, they do come in a flood. "Just one bite... just one. Who cares? Who will even know? One bite won't throw off your whole diet. Really, it's healthy to have one bite so that you don't completely deprive yourself which will cause you to want it more. If you just have one bite you'll be satisfied and all that craving will go away. See, you really should have just one bite."

But I know what will happen if I give in.

One bite will lead to two. Then suddenly three doesn't look so bad. And now you've eaten so much you might as well go ahead and finish it off. It's just one piece.

Then I think about this rationalization process with my teenage son. I don't even want him to flirt with the idea of drugs or sex or driving way too fast. I don't even want him to put one toe on this path of rationalization.

So, why should I?

I pushed the plate of chocolate temptation away. I turned my face fully to the front of the room so that I couldn't even see that dessert at all. I lifted up my soul to the Jesus song. And I let His truth have its full way within me.

Then I woke up this morning smiling.

One battle down.

One victory at a time.

The no sugar thing

First, I need to give you all a heads up that the She Speaks conference is filling up quickly. As of right now, the host hotel is full. If you haven't registered yet, don't panic.

We still have room for you at the conference. And there is a hotel next door that will accomodate those who can't get into the host hotel.

We have put registrations on hold until tomorrow so that we can assess which breakouts are completely full and which ones still have available space. The new registration process that will go live tomorrow will reflect these updates.

Once the conference is sold out, we'll start a waiting list but you don't want to have to stress about a waiting list right? So, if you haven't registered and plan to, please, pretty please, with a no sugar cherry on top please, do it sooner rather than later.

Speaking of no sugar...

Many of you have sent me notes, comments and e-mails about the no sugar deal I'm doing. For those of you who could care less, you are dismissed. Bye, bye... love you and I'll see you tomorrow. Hugs.

For my curious friends, maybe you have been wondering the same thing this friend was wondering in her e-mail to me yesterday:

"So I read your blog and I gotta ask … no sugar at all? What about sugar substitutes like Splenda or Stevia?? Girl, what in the world are you eating then???"

I can't do this no sugar thing on my own. Let me just say that right up front. I think I have slight food issues. Well, okay maybe not so slight.

Y'all I just quite simply enjoy food more than a girl should. I think about it too much, crave things I shouldn't, and have issues with the whole portion control matter.

I just can't put it any more plain than that.

So.

My keynote message for this year's She Speaks is something God has been putting on my heart since Jan. 1st of this year. My message will be titled, "No Compromise."

Yet, as I've been preparing for my She Speaks message and praying about the conference, I came to realize that I've been excusing, dismissing, and basically compromising in the area of food.

This is hard to write because even now my brain is saying, "Oh Lysa, it's not that bad. I mean people don't look at you and see evidence that you have issues with food." But it goes way deeper for me than just managing my weight. It's really about managing my soul.

The more I crave food and seek unhealthy satisfaction from food, the less I crave true satisfaction from Jesus.

I know some people may roll their eyes and think, "Oh for heaven's sake Lysa. Do you have to spiritualize everything?" Well, keep rolling because pretty much yes, I have to surrender everything to the Lord.

And this food issue is one I've been avoiding for a really long time.

So, all that to say, I have to depend on the Lord right now in a much bigger way than when I freely let myself have sugar. Each time I wish for something I have eliminated from my diet, instead of parking my mind on what I can't have- I park my mind on what I can have.

I can have more prayer. I can have more insight. I can have more discipline. I can have more of God right now.

Will I forever eliminate sugar from my diet? I don't think so. But I am hoping this season of discipline will reset my body and the incessant cravings I have for unhealthy carbs.

So, first I need the Lord. Also, I need people support.

I have several friends who are doing this no sugar thing right now who are a tremendous support. And I have a natural health doctor who specializes in nutrition who is holding me accountable and helping me as well.

I record everything I eat and give her my food records once a week when I go to weigh in.

Since starting this healthy eating plan, I have lost 8 pounds. This is a great blessing to my jeans that were threatening to bust at the seams... literally.

So, what do I eat? Here is what I might eat on a given day based on the protein and carb amounts set forth by my plan. Please note, I don't eat this same thing every day... this just gives you an idea.

Before breakfast:

1 very small, (as in like 1/2 cup) of a protein drink
2 tsp. apple cider vinegar- supposedly this is really healthy but mercy it tastes awful
2 small chunks of watermelon, to help get rid of that horrendous vinegar aftertaste
Large water
Juice Plus Capsules

Breakfast:

1 egg
1 slice turkey bacon
2 more small chunks of watermelon

Mid-morning-

another very small protein drink

Lunch-

A strawberry Turkey Salad with homemade Balsamic Dressing--- total yum!
Large bed of green leaf lettuce
4 strawberries sliced
60 grams sliced turkey deli meat

Dressing: 4 tsp. olive oil, 2 tsp. balsamic vinegar, some fresh ground pepper- mixed well.

Mid afternoon-

another small protein drink

Late afternoon-

another small protein drink and a handful of natural almonds

Dinner-

120 grams of lean meat of my choice
small portion of vegetables

I also allow myself 1 or sometimes 2 Diet 7-ups and if I have to sweeten anything, I use stevia. And I am drinking 8-10 waters a day.

For the first week, it was hard. But now my body has seemed to adjust and it really is just enough food to satisfy me and keep my hunger pains away.

So, that's it in a nutshell.

Just make it an almond nutshell please.

Less Little

How many times have I had the privilege to hear, "Watch me mommy, watch me," in a voice young and believing and eager?

Dreams dancing in her heart, visions of hope in her eyes, and a little styrofoam ball topped microphone pressed against cherry lip gloss.

Sparkles serve as the strobe affect. Handheld, plastic flashlights spot and follow the performer in an off way. It's obvious sisters aren't good tech help.

The swish of her princess dress.

Little pink nails chipped here, chewed there.

Ribbons tied up in hair that should have been washed yesterday. But who has time for that when you're busy becoming a princess rock star?

Peach fuzz cheeks marred only by slight fudgsicle smudges.

How much longer will I have this?

When will she take her last little girl bow... and go to bed... a girl falling asleep and waking up less little?

Less Mommy watch me's.

Less young, less believing, less eager.

Less dreams, less sparkles, less dresses that swish.

Less pink nail polish, less ribbons, less fudgsicles.

Less little.

Less little- please don't come right now. Not yet.

My heart needs a few more, "Watch me mommy" pleas... please.
_______________________________________________________

Thank you Emily for hosting tuesday's unwrapped so we can all pause and reflect and capture these moments before "less little" steals them away.

And then my hunger pains just wore themselves slap out

Okay, I totally promise I am not turning this into a dieting blog. I'm not.

Pinky promise.

It's just that the most miraculous thing EVER has happened... I'm only hungry at meals times.

For many of you this will not seem like a big deal at all. But for those of you who can relate to crazy hunger pains in between meals and snacks and more snacks and then finally it is time for another meal but I am so hungry-

You

Better

Pull

Your

Fingers

Back

Quickly

When

You

Serve

Me

Those

Nacho

Chips!

Ahem.

Ever been there? It is the craziest battle that can make a person feel like a fruit loop.

And then crave Fruit Loops.

So, I'm sure there is some sort of scientific reason giving up sugar for the past week has finally gotten me to a more peaceful place with my incessant feelings of hunger. But I never did like science.

So, here's my unofficial assessment of the situation:

1. My hunger pains just finally wore themselves slap out.

2. My body is simply in shock.

3. My taste buds finally got a glimpse of my backside and the bathing suit it must fit in to very soon.

4. Companies who make sugar snacks inject them with microscopic craving monsters that make you want more- buy more- eat more thus make their companies recession proof. But, if you stop eating sugar for one week, the microscopic craving monsters die. Praise the good Lord above.

5. Seeing the scale finally move in a downward motion for the first time in a long while has finally convinced my taste buds that there is in fact a connection to the amount of food I eat and the amount of weight I gain. I've wanted to deny and resist this horrendous truth for a very long time.

So, today I have to go to this nutrition lady with the most mean machine I have ever encountered ever. It's a scale on steroids. Not only does it tell you what you weigh it also reveals your Body Mass Index.

Body Mass Index y'all.

Just saying it triggers my gag reflex.

This awful machine shares secrets nary a person should ever know about me.

Oh my stars- right now as I am writing this, my daughter just flew into my bedroom and breathlessly exclaimed our refrigerator is pouring out water from underneath so I better run.

The irony of this happening at this moment does not escape me.

I think my fridge is afraid I am in the process of breaking up with him. We can be friends but that's it. That line produces a river of tears every time.

ps... Art wants me to add in here that he is in fact the hero who just took care of the fridge situation while I layed in my bed and finished my blog. He just about fell out when heard that I'd written, "Well I better run," as he was carrying in wet towels.

pss... that will teach me not to read my blog out loud.

You were made for more

I firmly believe that God plants within each of us certain gifts of truth while we are being formed. These are bound with spiritual ribbons knotted so tightly they can only spring open when the strains of life press against them in just the right way, in just the right time.

But even when one of these truths spring forth within us, we don't always know it's a gift.

Sometimes it just seems like a nagging drum of an overactive conscience. Sometimes we mistake it for the voice of our mother. And other times we connect it to a Sunday school lesson that we hardly remember paying any attention to at all.

And while all of these things may have at one time pointed to the existence of God's gift of truth- they are not the source from where it came.

God Himself is the glorious originator of these magnificent truths uniquely designed and given to us for one reason alone... His unreserved love for you and me.

When I was a senior in high school I was invited to a college party. I had a friend who'd graduated the year before me and became my favorite person in the world the day she invited me to her sorority party.

Cool doesn't even begin to describe what I felt as me and my pink jelly shoes made our way into that party. By the end of the night we were giggling over the attention given to us by two good looking college boys. As the party died down, they invited us over to their place.

Part of me was so flattered, I wanted to go. A much bigger part of me didn't. But plans got made and before I knew it we were getting into their car and driving away.

I was not a strong Christian at this point in my life. Not even close. And I certainly can't say I'd ever heard God speak to me, but in the midst of this situation, I did.

"This isn't you, Lysa. You were made for more than this."

Truth.

A gift of truth.

Planted deep within me when God personally knit me together.

Untied and presented at just the right time.

I wound up making an excuse for a quick exit and walking back to my car alone that night. I mentally beat myself up for acting like a young, immature high schooler who couldn't handle being a college party girl.

But looking back, I want to stand up on a chair and clap, clap, clap for my little high schooler self!

There were other seasons of my growing up years where I heard this truth loud and clear repeated within the confines of my soul and sadly, I refused to listen. These were the darkest years of my life. I wasn't made to live a life that dishonors the Lord.

None of us are.

So, I remembered that gift of truth yesterday and felt challenged and invigorated by it all over again.

"You were made for more Lysa- you were made for more."

I remembered it as I walked through the airport distracted by 1 million assaults on my sugar deprived taste buds. I just kept mentally repeating... made for more! Made for more.

And though my quest to give up sugar pales in comparison to the importance of a high schooler trying to keep her purity- hunger is hunger. Temptation is temptation. Desire is desire. So, maybe they aren't so different after all.

You were made for more.

What a great truth for us all.

So, what do you think? What quest for purity might God be calling you to my friend?
___________________________________________________________________

Congrats Mocha with Linda- you were the first to guess Jennifer so you are the winner of the DaySpring gift pack!

When you wish upon a star, it won't get you very far

The other day I took a short cut through a neighborhood and caught a glimpse of a man planting a garden. It was just a quick glance, but it was long enough to produce a lingering thought, "I wish I had a pretty garden."

For years I've looked at other people's beautiful gardens and sighed as a wish for my own swirled through my mind.

However, the quick glimpse of this man with his hands digging deep into the earth brought a new revelation into my wish for a garden. He has a garden because he invests time and energy to make it. He didn't wish it into being. He didn't hope it into being. He didn't just wake up one day and find that a garden had just popped into being.

No.

He worked at it. He sacrificed for it.

Day after day. Row by row. Seed by seed. Plant by plant. It took effort, intentionality, sweat equity, and determination. Then it took time and commitment before he ever saw any fruit from his labor.

But eventually, there was a bloom... and then another... and then another.

Yes, I drove by quickly glancing at and wishing for the flowers without a clue about all the work that had gone into producing those blooms.

I want the flowers but not the work.

Isn't that the way it is with many things in life- we want the results but have no desire to put in the work required.

Besides a garden, I've also wished for a thinner body but I've been lax about wanting to actually limit and alter my diet.

I'm great with exercising but when it comes to eating, I just want to eat what I want when I want to. Then I catch myself wishing I was thinner- making excuses about my age and metabolism- how unfair my genetic disposition is- blah, blah, blah.

The reality is I can't eat like a teenager and then complain about the source of my extra layers of fluff.

Or my pants size.

Or my tummy pooch.

Or my arms that are starting to wave back at me when I make extended arm movements.

I can't wish blooms into place anymore than I can wish fat away. It's just the cold, hard reality.

So, I've gotten intentional and decided to combine my diet situation with a prayer commitment for She Speaks. I've given up sugar and all things that contain sugar--- like bread, milk, pasta, chocolate, and treats of all kinds.

Basically, I eat what an animal you would find in the wild eats--- meat and things that grow naturally from the earth. Only I cook my food and use manners.

I'm encouraged by the possibilities of this new eating plan because I have yet to see an animal in the wild with cellulite.

Think about it.

But I obviously still crave the deliciousness of processed foods with sugar. Each time I do, I pray for our upcoming conference.

Maybe by the time you see me chatting it up with Jennifer Rothschild (wink, wink) at the conference, I'll be a wee bit more healthy.

But don't be expecting any fresh cut flowers from my garden. That is still but a wish.

A girl can't do it all you know.

p.s. Y'all are just so smart and you totally got it right. I'll post the DaySpring gift pack winner on Monday.

I love surprises!

Update below...

Do I have a surprise for those of you coming to She Speaks this year!!!

Guess who will be joining us to deliver the keynote message Saturday night??!!

Go ahead, guess...

I'll give you a couple of hints:

* She's way cute.

* She's way smart.

* She is a woman who walks by faith.

* She lives in a state that starts with the letter "M".

* She loves coffee and she loves Jesus and she just wrote a book combining these two loves.

* She's been on the Dr. Phil show and on the Women of Faith tour.

*New clue added--- She has an assistant named Kathryn who lent this little tidbit of info via a comment today:

I happen to work for the woman who is going to be the speaker at She Speaks, and Tera, I guarantee you she could NOT give up sugar or caffeine or sleep or food in general for 3 hours much less 3 days. Lest you think I am slamming my employer...she is telling me what to post so that she will not ruin Lysa's surprise.

Okay--- enough clues. Take a guess and I'll enter you to win an amazing gift pack DaySpring just sent me. They heard about this post and decided to help out with our little letter writing challenge. You will be soooooo excited if you win this!

And you will be sooooooo excited if you are coming to She Speaks.

Almost as excited as my backside is that I've given up sugar. Three days and counting y'all. My taste buds are madder than a wet cat.

Amazing Holly Day

Hi Friend~

Thank you for your Scrabble advice yesterday. Oh it was a glorious win last night. I won't tell you who absolutely dominated- but her initials are LT in case you are curious.

Pride comes before the fall though so I'm trying to keep my amazing winning streak on the total down-low... can't you tell?

Anyhow, I'm closing my comments today and redirecting traffic to my friend Sandy's site. Word has it, it's an amazing Holly Day over there.

Really, you don't want to miss this post by Holly. And you may want to spend some time catching up on Sandy's storm series. Beautiful nuggets of truth and wisdom await you.

See you tomorrow~

Goodbye to my little (big) sugarfied self

You gals are so funny. First, let me assure those of you who thought yesterday's post was code for something, I only wish I was that clever.

Nope.

We were in Florida throwing my parents a surprise combined 60th birthday party.

Thus the 20 hour drive, little tiff, song by Chicago, and saying I'm sorry situation.

Now, on to today.

It's Spring Break for us this week so I'll be posting later than normal each day. Usually, I write my blog posts the night before while kids are doing homework. But, this week I have some hot dates with a Scrabble board and several little people.

And I'm sad to report that my competitive spirit overrides my mommy spirit every time. I CAN NOT let them win. Words are my thing y'all.

They beat me at other games we play--- but pull out the Scrabble and WATCH OUT SISTA'!!!

Word has it Holly will be joining us tonight so I'll keep you posted.

Anyone have any good two letter words using high point letters like J, Z, C, D, F, or P? What about Q words that don't require a "u"???

And for heaven's sake is the word "Ex" a real word that can stand alone or is it a prefix?

Speaking of games and winners, I have yet to announce that Tasha Via is the winner of "Learning to Live Financially Free."

Congrats Tasha!

Lastly, I am starting a new eating plan today. No sugar. Did you know sugar is in just about everything that my taste buds love?

But it is time for the taste buds to be put on restrictions y'all. They obviously never get around to looking at my backside and therefore have justified themselves into having a few too many nachos. and brownies. and pizza. and Starbucks. and... well you get the picture.

Read it and weep oh rebellious taste buds! No sugar.

Happy sugar-free Tuesday y'all.

Like a bad country song, except not country

So.

Hello.

We spent 20 hours in the car with little people this weekend.

20.

Yes ma'am.

At about hour 16, Art and I had a little growth opportunity. You know one of those where who is more selfish than who is discussed. Oh yes, one of those.

Every talk I've ever given on marriage was coming back to me in a point by point flood. At that moment, I didn't like my little advice giving self.

I just wanted to be mad.

I just wanted to pout.

I just wanted to be selfish.

And then this came on the radio:



Y'all I had to turn my mad little face, towards my window and laugh.

I kept looking around for the Smile, You're on Candid Camera sign.

Instead I just chuckled at the number of BBQ places we kept passing with names like "Action Jackson's Kickin' BBQ" and "Po Boys Ribs."

Then I pulled down my visor mirror and remembered the goodness of the times when I teased my bangs up big and sprayed the sides of my hair out away from my ears like wings.

I grieved the loss of the world's finest hair do as I rocked back and forth to Chicago.

And then, I said I was sorry. Even though it's hard for me to say I'm sorry.

75 shades of crazy from one very thankful heart

Sweet sisters... thank you so much for praying for my family this week. I can't share any details of where we'll be today, but just know that we'll be relying on your prayers big time.

We'll be sharing our family story with a large audience.

Eventually, I will be able to tell you all the details and invite you into the craziness called my life. But I suspect if you've been reading here anytime at all, you are well aware of the 75 shades of crazy that dot the scenery of the TerKeurst family.

Anyhow...

Here are just a few random things that have helped distract my otherwise wacky week:

1. We took Mark to Red Lobster for his birthday this week. Y'all do you know what sits front and center of the lobby where you have to wait for a table? A very large tank full of live lobsters. Something was a bit unsettling about that for me.

It is not fun having those things staring at you with little black eyes pleading.

I could not eat the lobster y'all.

Therefore, I had to partake in Satan's plan to wreck every diet there ever was--- the deliciousness known as the Red Lobster garlic biscuit. No little block of pure fat has ever tasted so yummy.

2. Some birds have built a nest under our back deck. Our dogs have just about dug a hold through the wood trying to get to them. Yesterday, Brooke was convinced that she heard chirping mixed in with the barking and became very concerned.

Something about how boy birds sing so their favorite girl birds can find them. She was afraid the birds under the deck would be so upset trying to sing over the barking dogs that they'd lose their voices--- thus making them unable to sing their love home.

I'm not so sure how much of this is correct bird knowledge.

But I do wish that God would have hard wired man cubs to sing their love home. Something about this just makes my heart flutter y'all.

3. He is Risen. And for that I will be eternally grateful. The theme of my heart this week has been "No Compromises." None. Don't even flirt with slight compromises. This one thought has empowered my heart to draw some hard lines this week.

And to avoid any future trips to the place that serves those biscuits that proved too much for my best intentions.

A quiz, a prize, and a really good book

Thank you all so much for praying. I'll be able to tell you more about that tomorrow.

For now, I want to tell you about a book that just released by Marybeth Whalen and her husband Curt. It's a timely topic that's for sure!

Learning to Live Financially Free is a personal look at what it takes to live debt free.

The Whalens draw from their own experiences of their first ten years of marriage to create a resource that provides both a helpful hand and a hopeful word for couples who need to get and keep their finances in order and nurture their marriage at the same time.

Listen to what my friend Tamery had to say after reading this book:

I've read numerous books on managing money. This book was different.

We knew how to "do" the money systems laid out in other books, but failed because the heart of our problem wasn't the "knowing" but the "relating"!

After reading this book I realized that both of us came into our marriage with spending/saving "style" differences and we had not really discussed how that was affecting our money decisions.

I know that if we succeed in a task, but fail in relationship while completing the task we are not fully honoring the Lord. This book deals with money relationships and I think that we will finally succeed in both!

The authors are real and don't hold back. We can relate to them as they both share their differing perspectives of the same money situation. Through their humility as a foundation, my husband and I can discuss more freely where we are coming from; surprisingly there are more ways than one to view a situation!

After the very first chapter, my husband came to me and told me that this book was helping him understand my position in our marriage better. Wow! I am recommending this book to all my friends and have several couples I know I am going to buy it for.

Tamery Stafford, married 15 years, mom of 4

Since I love little "how are you currently doing in this area" quizzes, I asked the Whalens to come up with one.

I've always said, the only way we can get better in an area is if we can clearly identify where we are currently and what direction we want to head in for the future. So, here's a little quiz---

Are You A Financially Focused Couple?

Instructions: Give yourself 1 point for every "yes" answer, 0 points for every "no."

Do you have regular budget meetings?

Do you communicate about daily expenses?

Do you discuss large purchases before they're made?

Does each spouse have an equal vote about money decisions?

Have you planned for your future through life insurance and a will?

Do you agree about tithing and giving?

Can you both list out your debts, including the amounts and monthly payment for each account?

Do you have a plan that was written together for paying off debt and saving money?

Do you encourage each other to save money?

Have you discussed the spending habits and attitudes about money that you carried into the marriage?

Tally up your score. Leave a comment about any kind of money tip you have. I'll be randomly picking a winner from today's comments to get a free copy of this book.

After you leave your comment here, hop over to Marybeth's site to check your score. Word has it, she's also giving a copy of Learning to Live Financially Free!

Please pray

Hey---

My family could really use your prayers this week.

Please pray for clarity, assurance, unity, and the ability to clearly communicate what it means to be a family who loves and serves God.

I'll be back later to fill you in on more details.

Thank you so very much~

Colossians 4: 3-6, "Pray for us that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ... Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act towards outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."

Not Forgotten

Forgotten.

That's what Brooke felt as the rest of the cast was on stage singing their hearts out in the show finale. She was backstage in a puddle of confusion and tears.

An innocent mistake. A missed cue by one of the backstage directors. A little girl, in a beautiful dress, pink lips, and hair curled to perfection, ready to sing her heart out- was left out.

She sat in the dark and let the tears slip down her checks, one after another until they became a steady stream. Her blackened eyelashes melted. Her rosy blush wiped off leaving her skin vulnerable and pale.

This is how I found Brooke after last Thursday's dress rehearsal.

"I don't think they want me in the play Mama. I don't think my part matters at all."

"Oh sweetheart- you know that's not true," I tried to comfort her while navigating around her mascara threatening to ruin my new pink sweater. Oh for Pete's sake Lysa, let her mascara ruin your new pink sweater.

I pulled her tiny body into my most tenderly fierce embrace.

And then I smiled.

God, the Great Provider, had already given me the perfect answer to comfort this precious girl's heart. I was supposed to be speaking this weekend in Houston. I'd been booked for months before Brooke even decided to be in this play.

We were both sad that I'd have to miss the performance but took comfort in me being able to sit through the final dress rehearsal which would be very close to seeing the real show.

Then at the last minute, the event in Houston cancelled.

In all of my years speaking, this is only the second time this has happened.

"Sweet heart, God has arranged all of eternity to make sure Mama could be here this weekend. I don't think He'd do that if your part didn't matter. Yes, you were mistakenly left out today. But you are not forgotten. Not today. Not ever."

I think we've all probably had thoughts at one time or another that we don't matter. We're just not important at all.

What a lie that is.

Oh sweet sister, do you know that today?

In John 15:9 Jesus reminds us, "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now, remain in my love."

Remain.

Remain assured.

Remain confident.

Remain certain.

Remain secure.

Remain loved.

And remember, this life is but a dress rehearsal. Even if you sometimes get left out, the day is coming where you will be the star of the grandest show this world has ever seen.

Jesus will take your hand, lean in close, and whisper, "See, I told you I'd be here. You, my darling, were never forgotten."

________________________________________________________

Congrats to Megs at Whadusay you won the 2 copies of "The Bathtub is Overflowing But I Feel Drained."

She Speaks Scholarship Winner Announced

Hi Sweet Friends,

First, can I say I think the entire team trying to pick a winner would agree this decision was very hard.

I think every entry deserves a scholarship for one reason or another. And my heartfelt prayer from the beginning has been that God would make a way for every woman who desires to be at She Speaks to be there.

Each entry was seriously considered. We then narrowed it down to 11 finalists. Eventually, the judges narrowed down the entries to three finalists.

When we saw the three finalists, we hit a roadblock.

We couldn't pick a winner among the three. So, I decided we would give one full scholarship and two partial scholarships.

Then we got a call from DaySpring Cards.

They've agreed to help us make a way for the additional scholarships.

This is what their e-mail said, “It’s fun to be a part of God at work! DaySpring’s focus is to connect people to the heart of God and spread hope and encouragement, the kind that only comes from Christ. I hope that these blessed individuals will experience just that at She Speaks.”

I love the way God works.

And if you don't see your name in the following winner's list, please don't think you're not supposed to attend She Speaks. I think you are. And if this is the best thing for you, God will make a way.

He will.

He really will.

Thank you DaySpring for reminding me that of this week!

A big congrats to:

Everyday Becky

Jess Loves Jesus

Julie Gillies

You are the official winners of this year's blogger She Speaks Scholarship Contest. If you can get your pretty little selves there, the conference is yours at no charge.

Thank you again to everyone who participated. Now, I'm off to drink a very large Diet Coke. This thing 'bout stressed me out... in the best kind of way.

Brooke will take center stage again

Welcome to the Proverbs 31 "Encouragement for Today" devotion readers. At the end of today's post, you'll find today's give away!

This post was written the last time Brooke took center stage at her school performance. In honor of her being in the school play this weekend, I thought I'd remind you of this story.

Call it a little prayer request wrapped in a chuckle...

Last night I had the distinct privilege to attend the school production at my daughters’ school. Things were a little rushed trying to get everything together and everyone out the door on time.

There was hair that needed to be curled.

Nerves that needed to be calmed.

Last minute props that needed to be found.

And Doritos that needed to be eaten--- for dinner! Oh dear.

But we did it! We were only 3 minutes late which I considered a major victory. But my victorious feeling was short lived.

One of the opening numbers was a group song where kids from Brooke’s class stood in a line to present. Everyone had on the proper uniform. Crisp white shirts and dark pants. However, the most noticeable part of everyone’s attire were their shoes. The stage was at just the right height for the performer’s shoes to be at the audience’s eye level.

This is what I saw as I scanned the row of precious performers:
Black dress shoes, black dress shoes, black dress shoes, black dress shoes, black dress shoes, black dress shoes---Blue Satin Clippy Clappy Shoes, three sizes too big!

My eyes stopped scanning the row of shoes and slowly lifted to identify the girl front and center wearing the fancy clippie clappies. My husband noticed the shoes at the same moment and leaned over to whisper, “What does Brooke have on her feet?”

It appears she had decided that her outfit needed a little pizzaz--- a little glamour--- a little blue satin that went clippie clappy all the way off that very wooden stage.

In that moment I had a choice to get all caught up in the “oh my stars, good moms know what kind of shoes their daughter has on before she clunks across stage....” Or, I could see it as a funny memory we’ll enjoy talking about forever.

As a mom I’m learning the power of laughter, grace, and letting only God’s truths define me and my kids. So, if you see me in the grocery store this week wearing some blue satin clippie clappy shoes of my own, just high five me.

We sisters have to stick together you know.

Now for the GIVE AWAY!

Post a comment by clicking on the word comments below and you’ll be registered to win today’s giveaway--->

Two copies of my book, “The Bathtub is Overflowing But I Feel Drained.” You can keep one and give one away to encourage a friend!

Miss Prissy gets overruled

A few years ago I decided to put a game table in my den. I was thrilled when I found the exact one I wanted on clearance.

I bought the table and stocked the den cabinet near the table with games galore. Oh I had such fantastic visions of my children sitting around this table playing games, assembling puzzles, and bonding in ways that would be the delight of their childhood memories.

Well...

The kids would rather sit on the floor to play games. Not one person has the least bit of interest in puzzles despite my nagging about the wonderful things they do for the brain. And the only memory my very competitive kids will probably have about our game time will be who smashed whose record and who dared cry about it.

That's family bonding at its finest y'all.

So, back to the table.

It has become yet another useless but pretty part of my decor.

Until yesterday.

Art has decided that this would be the perfect spot for the family computer. You know those things with unsightly plastic encasings, chords galore, and accessories that match nary a thing in my house.

Hmfffff.

Oh miss prissy can get her undergarments all in a wad over such things.

That is until (rub her halo) Holly reminded me what a great thing it is that Art is so concerned about the Internet integrity of our home that he wants the computer out in the open at all times.

As soon as she said this, my heart jumped.

You see, I grew up most of my life with a Dad who didn't care.

Not a bit.

Then my mom married my stepfather and I caught a glimpse of what a Father is supposed to be. And I prayed that I'd marry a man much like my stepfather.

What an answer to prayer Art is.

If only I'll make the choice to see that answer to prayer and not get caught up in the lesser things of life.

He's a father who doesn't care about plastic encasings but does care about what fills the hearts and minds of his children.

He's a father who doesn't care about chords dangling here and there but does care about keeping the addictive entanglements of sin away from his children.

He's a father who doesn't care about unmatching accessories but does care about having kids whose actions match their Christian convictions.

So, while I may never have the game table of my dreams- I did get something else so much better.

Sometimes it's really good when Miss Prissy gets overruled.