No, I can't love my husband and Brad Pitt too

Today I have a devotion running at Proverbs 31 about the dangers of having an emotional affair. Believe it or not, this is a terribly dangerous situation that haunts many women day in and day out.

Maybe it's a friend's husband- a guy at the office- a past boyfriend- or a guy at church. No matter who it is, what may seem so innocent at first can quickly lead to disaster.

We women were made for emotional connection.

Our DNA longs for that man who will sweep us off our feet and carry us into the sunset while acting like we are light as a feather. He says the right things at the right moments, has the tenderness of our best girlfriend but the manliness of the Marlboro man.

Although, since I'm allergic, he can't smoke like the Marlboro man. So, maybe that's not the best example. But you catch my drift.

We want that connection that makes us the star of our own Jerry McGuire moment where he proclaims, "you complete me."

That was a fine romantic moment.

So fine in fact it sort of ruined every real guy's response since then.

I mean imagine a less Hollywood scene. Hubs comes in from cutting the grass only to be asked to please change Jr's poopy diaper. I just can't see him quipping back, "Absolutely dear- you complete me."

Chances are, it's not going to happen.

But what could absolutely happen is that another man suddenly starts saying all those things that you wish hubs would say. He makes you feel good- fresh- alive- like putting on lipstick again.

And so you do.

And you start going out of your way to see him. And you like that he notices you. And you like what he says to you. And. And. And.

And suddenly, you're in trouble. Your husband can do no right. This other man can do no wrong.

The problem with this is that by the time you realize this other man also wakes up with morning breath, has traits that will grate on your nerves, and will stop saying "you complete me," it's often too late to reverse all the damage done in your marriage.

I once sat across the table from a friend who'd traded her marriage for someone she thought might be her "real soul mate." In tears she admitted it all started with simple emotional flirting. Now, she'd give anything to go back and make different choices.

This week, we've been talking about watching our words but it's equally important to watch our thoughts as well.

For where our thoughts go, our emotions will quickly follow.

Why not recapture some of those amazing thoughts we used to ponder about our husbands. You know the ones during those days where we doodled our first name with his last name on every spare napkin? Don't pretend like you didn't do that too!

Anyhow, let's take each of our thoughts captive today. Let's intentionally fill our minds with a list of all that our husband does right.

And then when he walks through the door tonight, let's throw our arms around that husband of ours and proclaim, "you complete me. I just had to make sure you knew that."

He'll totally pretend to look at you like you're crazy--- but deep inside he'll love it.

After all, the grass isn't greener on the other side- the grass is greener where we water and fertilize it.

Oh My WORDS!

Apparently, if you are going to post a request for verses to help people redirect their reactions, it may be a good idea to eat a big ol' piece of humble pie for breakfast.

Yes ma'am.

Just as I was thinking about shining my halo on all the good words I've been speaking to hubs the past couple of days, one of my kids plopped her book bag on top of her sister's presentation poster causing it to become wrinkled and bent. Tears ensued. Lots of tears. Like big crocodile, puddle producing tears.

Suddenly, all things nice just flew right out of me and I remembered a time a bully bent and wrinkled a poster I'd worked on for hours. And I quite simply got stinkin' mad.

After letting said poster bender know just how mad I was and dropping all children off at school, I knew I needed coffee. I ventured to my favorite little coffee shop with my favorite little laptop and remembered my post- and remembered the verses- and remembered Joy's encouragement- and knew I needed to re-read my own advice.

Oh sweet sisters, you encouraged me with your comments and verses more than you can imagine!

Especially "The Kahler Family" when she said, "It reminds me that before I take on anything or make any decisions, even in speaking, that I need to spend time with the Lord first. Even if it's just a "Lord help me to not put a for sale sign around my children's necks and stand them on the corner." ;)

How did you know that I was thinking about that sign around their necks?

I know how. We're all in this together, that's how.

Just when I was about to deem it a "bad day" with my "bad attitude" and hope to drown it all away with a really yummy latte, I realized something in the midst of reading all your verses.

At any point of any day, I can ask Jesus for forgiveness, draw a line in the sand and find the good that is surely there.

And that's when it happened.

Out of the blue, a lady walked up to me. A very hip and happenin' lady I must add.

"Excuse me- but where did you get those shoes? They are seriously the cutest shoes I have ever seen."

If you have been reading my blog for a while, you know why this comment made me want to jump up, throw my arms around this woman and squeeze the living daylights out of her as I proclaimed, "Bless you."

I was wearing these shoes.

Y'all, I used to never get comments about my shoes. NEVAH, EVAH! But then I found those stylin' things that aren't your grandma's Aerosoles and well, they 'complete me.'

So, though her comment on the surface was about shoes- in my soul it felt like a little kiss blown straight down from heaven.

Jesus just blesses my soul---
and my soles alike.

I don't know how your "watching your words" quest is going. If it is going quite well, throw your hands in the air and praise the Lord.

We'll wait for you, go ahead.

But if you are like me and your spirit is willing but your flesh is weak, take heart. Today is a new day. This minute is a new minute. The choice before you is a chance for redemption.

And for heaven's sake, find a sister today that has on some cute shoes and tell her.

Love and Hugs to you all.

That look

I was touched by Joyful's honest admission in the comments from yesterday's post that she blew it with holding her tongue.

Don't we all?

Oh mercy sisters, if I had a dollar for every time I've blown it with speaking less than kind words to my family, I could buy several of us plane tickets to somewhere warm and tropical. A place where the sun, fun and ocean breezes carries away all stress.

After all, isn't stress what sometimes strips us of our resolve and pushes us to the brink emotionally?

The other day I was out at a coffee shop doing some studying when I overheard a woman with two kids getting pushed to "that" place. Her kids were being rowdy and she was quite frustrated. Soon her husband walked in and I quickly discerned they had planned to meet up so he could take the kids home while she met some friends for coffee.

He must have been running late which just added to her already mounting frustration. I wasn't trying to listen but couldn't help but hear her as she berated her husband with thing after thing that she found wrong with him- he was always late- very inconsiderate- couldn't care less about the stress she faced everyday...

While I totally understood where she was coming from, it broke my heart to see the look on her husband's face.

That's when it occurred to me to let that look burn deep into my heart and learn from it.

Really learn from it.

But I can't just pull myself up by my boot straps and determine to do better in my own strength. That will only last until the next time I get stressed or have a rush of hormones that makes me all crazy--- then all my own resolve fades. No, I need something more.

I've decided to make a list of Scriptures to memorize and recall when I get pushed to the brink of frustration. I want the Holy Spirit to use these verses to help interrupt my natural flesh response and redirect my reactions.

So, what are some verses you can think of to help us do this? I can't wait to see what you come up with.

Happy tongue holding- redirected reactions day y'all!

Things that seem small

Yesterday, I was just mindlessly looking out the window of the Seattle airport watching a few seagulls dart about overhead while airline workers were busy loading bags. Nothing about the scene outside the airport window spoke of danger.

But then suddenly I remembered the flight from New York just a few weeks ago that was brought down by a few geese. The seagull that faded into the background just moments before became a point of extreme interest to me. What if?

It’s amazing if you stop to think about it that a huge airplane could be brought down by just a few birds. Birds. Who would have thought?

It makes me think about other seemingly small things that can cause great destruction as well… especially when it comes to marriage.

Careless words can seem so small.

Slightly disrespectful attitudes can seem so small.

Complaining about lack of finances can seem so small.

Brushing off his desires can seem so small.

Making mental lists of things you wish were different about him can seem so small.

But each one of these seemingly small things can so easily and tragically wedge itself into the core of a marriage and send it screaming toward destruction. Entire families have been ripped apart by things that once seemed so small.

I am challenged by this.

I can’t just mindlessly assume that my marriage is coasting along okay and that little problems can’t topple even the most seemingly stable of legacies. I can’t get complacent. I can’t get prideful. I can’t get lazy. I can’t take the gift of my marriage for granted.

I have a great marriage but sometimes I slip into automatic and stop getting as intentional as I should about investing richly and deeply into our relationship.

So, I’ve decided to declare this my get intentional week. I’m going to do what any redneck woman does when her homestead gets invaded by some unwanted creatures. I’m gonna sit on my front porch and shoot down some birds y’all. Figuratively speaking of course.

Today I’m focusing on my words. I’m praying for God to interrupt my mouth at every turn today. I am going to hold my tongue against saying anything careless. I am going to intentionally use my words as gifts to my husband today and nothing else.

Not that one day of doing this can protect my marriage forever- but it sure is a good start.

Care to join me? Oh you know there will be challenges ahead sweet sister, but I’m up for it. What about you?

Need to borrow my shotgun? I’m three kinds of all fired up to hear what you have to say about this.

Happy hunting y’all.

Now... Here are the winners from last week's contest:

From Blushing Bride to Wedded Wife-

Mindi

Is That All He Thinks About?-

Kathryn

Changing Your World One Diaper at a Time-

Brittany

The winners can e-mail Marla through her website here. A big congrats to the winners!

And if you didn't win and want to buy some of Marla's books, you can do that here.

My letter to a young mom

This week I got a note from one of our team members who is the young mom of three little boys. She's in that stage of complete and utter exhaustion.

If you've ever been knee deep in poopy diapers while scratching your greasy head while simultaneously discovering the pattern on your over sized sweatpants is in fact a collection of snot wiped on you while your toddler clings to you like glue, you know where she is.

Maybe you are in that place right now.

Her e-mail so touched my heart because I realized I am no longer there. But in the midst of being in that hard season of life, I thought I'd never get out of it. I truly felt like motherhood would be full of poopy, snot, exhaustion, and over sized sweat pants for 18 years. And I felt super guilty for not loving every minute of it.

I'm in a different season now. (Though I still find myself wearing those over sized sweat pants!) And I realize it's my responsibility to call back to those behind me with encouragement, support and love.

So, to all my young mama friends- here's my call back to you...

Sweet young mother- honey child, honey child- I struggled so much when my kids were little.

People would tell me to appreciate these little years for they pass by in a blink. I'd go home blinking my little eyeballs to death wishing they would pass a little quicker.

But I must say, God used those years to grow me and stretch me more spiritually than anything else I've ever been through. Even when you only get little snippets of time with God, His lessons are there moment by moment.

Just the fact that I survived my first daughter is evidence of God's amazing grace working in my life. She once bit my face leaving me with a hole- A HOLE !- in the side of my cheek. With everything in me, I wanted to march her back to that hospital that aided me in birthing her and demand some DNA testing. I was certain I'd brought home the wrong child.

That is until my mama told me she'd been praying for years for me to birth someone just like me. Ahem. Payback for her was pure bliss.

Anyhow, moment by moment I survived. Life did not pass me by. Opportunity did not pass me by. And my ministry was right there waiting for me when I changed that last diaper.

Those years where I only did little people ministry within my home worked out some kinks between me and Lord and perfectly prepared my heart to be so much more real and authentic when I stepped back on the speaking stage. I came to realize my desperate need for God like never before.

I came to realize my desperate need for grace like never before. I came to realize that even a rule following girl like me can be pushed to cuss. And then I realized even more grace than before.

Hold on sweet sister. We love you. I love you. There is nothing wrong with you when you feel like you love those little people but some days you don't like them very much. It's okay. We've all been there. This too shall pass. And when it does you'll actually miss parts of it. And you'll actually not miss some parts of it too!

Hugs to you sweet sister~
_____________________________________________________________

Now for the contests:

Congrats to Unreasonable Grace- you are the winner of the Chick-fil-A coupons! Please e-mail Holly@Proverbs31.org and give her your mailing address.

As for the books give away with Marla, I thought I'd leave that post open through the weekend and choose a winner on Monday. Mainly because I have a hot date today with three young daughters who are ready, READY! READY! to have their mama take them snow tubing.

So, off to the mountains we are headed just for the day. Then I get back with ten minutes to spare to leave for a flight to Washington State where I'll be speaking tomorrow.

That certainly sounds like a recipe for excitement doesn't it? Me. Snowtubing. Driving through the mountains. Ten minutes to spare. Flight to catch.

Yeah, prayers would be much appreciated.

Happy Weekend y'all.

Another Give Away

I am so honored to have author Marla Taviano as one of my faithful blog readers. She has authored several great marriage books which I am giving away today. I would tell you things like this make me want to tee tee in my pants.

Except that I already said this might be my response when being asked to speak with "Henry" at the CBE conference, and I got this e-mail from the president - who happens to be a man thank you from the depths of my embarrassed little heart- of the organization hosting the CBE conference:

Lysa,
Great blog!! You are such a riot!! You are going to tee tee in your pants?!!
Lysa you are doing a wonderful job promoting this--the whole industry would
thank you if they knew!!

Naturally then my question is...Did he mean that the whole industry would thank me if they knew I might get up on stage and have an accident ???

Or the whole industry would thank me if they knew I used the words tee tee to help promote this Christian Conference???

I wonder if he is second guessing his choice.

Anyhow, my prayer now is that anyone googling the words tee tee will not stumble upon this sad commentary on how I process my excitement. Ahem.

Back to Marla.

So, she's written some really great books that seem to follow the path I've been traveling for the past 16 years. And--- yippee--- yippee--- I get to give some away today!

All you have to do, is tell me which book you'd choose if your name gets randomly drawn.

Look at these great titles:

From Blushing Bride to Wedded Wife--Young brides will laugh out loud, sigh with relief, and nod in agreement as Marla takes a refreshing, biblical look at everything from impossible mothers-in-law to disappointing sex, from toilet seats left up to that confusing word "submission."

Is That All He Thinks About?--For many married women, their sex life is a source of frustration instead of the pleasure they expected. Marla debunks myths, calls women on their own issues, exposes the joy of sex, and presents hopeful advice that new or veteran brides will gratefully refer to again and again.

Changing Your World One Diaper at a Time--Do you ever wonder if anyone understands what your life is like now that you're a mom? You're not alone, as you'll see in these pages. You'll nod your head in agreement, you'll laugh, and you may even wince as other moms share their stories and overwhelming emotions.

Expecting--Just as the heart of your baby begins to beat and as little ears take shape, speak words of prayer asking for a heart that beats for God and for ears that will listen to His leading. This beautiful prayer book will guide you as you pray for your child's physical growth as well as his or her spiritual growth.

Make sure to visit Marla's site today as well. Rumor has it she is giving away a Chick-fil-A gift certificate in honor of yesterday's post. Visit Marla here.

If you don't win the book you wanted, you can buy books from Marla's site at a special price. The first 3 are being sold in a package deal for $22 if you buy them all, and Expecting is $13.

So, leave a comment telling me if your name is drawn which book would you pick?

I'll post the winners of these books plus the winners from the Chick-fil-A contest tomorrow.

Eat more chicken

Just in case you are in the mood to eat more chicken today, I thought I'd give you a little insight into this company called Chick-fil-A.

This morning, the president of this company stood before over 3000 of us gathered at the annual Chick-fil-A convention with tears in his eyes. He was so moved by the praise song just sung that it took him a minute to swallow the lump in his throat and clear the tears begging to spill down his cheeks.

Dan Cathy's business is to sell a great chicken sandwich. His heartbeat is to reach the world for Christ.

With over 7 million people walking into Chick-fil-A stores on a daily basis, that's a lot of potential for some serious influence. People walk in hungry for food, and while Chick-fil-A certainly delivers that, they also deliver second mile customer service that is rare in the fast food industry.

All this got me thinking about our potential to reach the world for Christ on a daily basis. You and I. Wherever we're at, whatever we're doing- do we set about our tasks looking for those who need a touch from someone whose spent a little time with Jesus that day?

Our tasks should be a means to an end- not the end itself. Whatever we are doing, we should have spiritual eyes that are wide open realizing not one person who crosses our path is there by happen chance.

Now, please hear me out. I'm not talking about carrying around a soap box that we hop up on and start preaching hell fire and damnation to all those unfortunate enough to cross our path that day. That's not what Jesus did.

For some, our Jesus gift to them is but a simple smile in a world filled with frowns. For others it may be a pause to assist them while the rest of the self-focused world rushes by. And for others it may be recognizing a financial need and stepping in to help with that need despite the economy's demand that we hold on to every penny we can right now.

What I realized as I was listening to Dan speak yesterday is that evangelism doesn't always mean verbally presenting the gospel. It means re-presenting Christ in this world as we represent Him wherever we go. Sometimes we are casters of seed- sometimes waterers- sometimes the sunshine- and sometimes the harvesters.

But let's not get so caught up in harvesting that we forget the importance of simple everyday actions that speak volumes as well.

I don't know about you, but this gets me so excited to see who God has ordained to cross my path today.

And since you've crossed my path through this blog, I thought in honor of Chick-fil-A, I would do a little give away. Leave a comment today and I'll enter you to win some free Chick-fil-A coupons.

If you don't have a Chick-fil-A near you--- let me pause a minute to weep for you. You can still play along. If you win, I'll send you a really cool Chick-fil-A plush cow holding up a sign that reads, "Eat more Chicken!"

Fun. Fun.

Happy Day y'all.

Oh My Stars

Okay sisters, if there has ever been a time in the history of times where I need you- it is now. Do you live in Dallas? Are you in the mood to travel to Dallas? Do you have a bicycle that is in good enough shape to pedal your little self on over to Dallas?

If not, your prayers are requested.

If so, your presence is requested. March 20-21st, 2009.

And I even have a little coupon I can send you for a discount ticket. Because you are my friends. And friends don't let friends attend without getting a friend discount.

Okay- so what is IT?

You may or may not have heard of a man who profoundly changed my life and who I have ALWAYS wanted to meet and who wrote a little study called "Experiencing God." Henry? Henry Blackaby? Ring any bells?

Oh my stars. I will not only get to meet him, I will be sharing the main stage keynoting WITH HIM. Well, not actually with him. I mean he'll have his talk. I'll have mine. But still. I am so honored and so excited I'm afraid I might tee tee in my pants when I meet him. Not to mention what might happen when I step out on stage after him.

Have mercy.

That was probably more info than you would care to know.

But still. Slay me dead.

Anyhow, I may or may not be needing a little oxygen back stage. And a Depends. I'm just saying.

So, here's the link to see what the scoop is. I'll be putting a little bloggy button up here on the old blog soon. As soon as I can stop hyperventilating long enough to think.

Oh and if you want that coupon, e-mail Holly@Proverbs31.org and we'll get it to you.

I'll be speaking both Friday night and Saturday morning. After I speak Saturday morning, I would love to hang out with any bloggy friends who come. So, come. Please. Pretty please. With a cherry on top.

The end.

Have a nice day.

And did I mention how excited I am about meeting Henry?

I think I did.

Really, the end.

Women Judging Women

How differently might our lives be if we women didn't have to fear the harsh criticisms of other women? Might we be willing to step out a little bolder for Jesus? Might we be willing to be a little more vulnerable? Might we live our lives a less guarded?

Jesus made it very clear that he didn't come to this world to bring condemnation. He never even condemned the worst of sinners. He leveled his harshest criticisms against those sinners who dared to cast judgments against others.

Oh sweet sisters, women judging other women, must absolutely break God’s heart.

The crazy thing is when we judge others, we elevate ourselves past the ability to recognize our own propensity to sin in the very area we are criticizing. Show me a woman who is leveling a judgment against another person, and I will show you a woman who is wrapped in sin herself.

If it’s not the very same sin she’s criticizing, it will be a sin just as dangerous- pride.

It is a subtle shift that Satan invites us into. Voicing criticisms against others will coat the eyes of our soul with smut so thick, we become blinded to our own sin. Pride and self-righteousness will detour us from God’s best path and lead us on a treacherous journey of denial. We’ll deny our own sinfulness. We’ll deny our own need for grace.

Those who can’t see their own desperate need for grace, refuse to freely grace to others.

Now, if you’re like me, you may be tempted to start making a mental list of those who you have felt judged by and you started praying a few sentences back- “Please let so and so read today’s post. Oh I hope she sees herself in this gets a whammy of conviction.”

But, let’s stop making that mental list and receive this message personally. Even if we are not naturally critical people, this is an area we can all grow in.

I recently read a wonderful quote outlining a beautiful plan when we feel tempted to judge someone else. Francis Frangipane in his book Holiness, Truth, and the Presence of God says, “Anyone can pass judgment- but can they lay down their lives in love, intercession and faith for the one judged? Can they target an area of need and rather than criticizing, fast and pray, asking God to supply the very virtue they feel lacking? And then persevere in that love-motivated prayer until that fallen area blooms in godliness? Such is the life Christ commands we follow!” (pg.11)

I know just posting this will not suddenly make the world tip on it’s axis and shake all of us women into breaking the cycle of criticisms and judgment. However, maybe, it will be a start.

If it causes even one of us to fall in front of Jesus in repentance and allow Him to wipe the smut of pride and self-righteousness from our spiritual eyes- it will be a great start. Now, let me be that one.

Sweet Jesus, May I first fall in repentance into your loving arms of grace. Thank you for the harsh ways I have been judged lately for it opened my eyes to this stinging way we women can be.

Forgive me for not extending grace at times to others. I am a woman who desperately needs it- so, I should be a woman who freely offers it.

When I am tempted to be critical of someone else, help me hold my thoughts and my tongue. Instead of voicing those things, help me bring them to you in honest and heart felt prayers for that person. May I be one who is so motivated by love, that I will persevere in my prayers for that person until I see you working in glorious ways.

God, I pray you use this post in a mighty way. First, in my own heart. And then in the beautiful, amazing, full of potential hearts of God’s girls everywhere. Amen.

Please pray

Please pray for all of these families.

The Principal's Office

Has anyone else struggled with letting a circumstance that came your way recently, suddenly define you?

This seems to be a lesson God lets me live over and over. He wants to be my only definition of who I am. I am a child of God, holy and dearly loved. I know this. I teach this. I believe this in the very depths of my soul.

Yet, it is so easy for me to slip into redefining myself when situations arise.

Recently, one of my precious-precious-precious-yet just as apt to sin as the rest of us-kids- got called to the principal's office. On the very day I received an invitation to speak at a national parenting conference. Thank you very much.

With my head, I was able to see the situation for what it was. My child is in a process of being shaped. My child is strong and while this will serve her well later in life, strength in an immature little person begs to be disciplined. She is a sweet child who made a not so sweet choice. All of this is part of the process of growing her up.

I could see all of that with my head.

However, with my heart, I felt like a failure. I wanted to decline the opportunity to speak at that conference and go crawl in a hole somewhere. A hole stocked with chips and salsa, brownies made from a box mix, and ice cold Diet Pepsi. Or Diet Coke. I don't discriminate with my soft drinks.

Anyhow.

A part of me felt like I'd been called to the principal's office as the voice of condemnation started haunting me, "You are a bad mom. You have a bad child. You have a bad home."

So, quietly, I slipped away with Jesus. And I did what I've done a hundred times before. I held those condemnations up to the Lord and asked him to help me see this situation the way He wants me to see it. Not the way others see it. Not the way my heart is tempted to see it. But the way He sees it.

And once again he reassured me.

I am not a bad mom.

My child is not a bad child.

My home is not a bad home.

This situation is a call to action. There is a character issue that needs to be addressed within the heart of my child. And kids are supposed to have character issues that need to be addressed.

That's why God gave them parents. That's why God gave me this specific child. God sees within me the ability to be the one He's perfectly designed to raise up this strong little person.

I'm not sure who else needed to hear that--- but I know I certainly did. So, dry your tears sweet mama. Today is a new day. A day where we will only be defined by God's truth and grace as we navigate this wild wonder called parenthood.

Properly Fitted Pants

Yesterday I got the rare treat to spend some time with my friend Shari Braendel. She is a fashion girl. I am not.

She knows what colors look good, how to fit clothes that compliment your body shape, and how to put together fabulous things that I would never even pick up off the rack.

For some reason, I am drawn to colors that aren't good on me- styles that aren't good on me- and sizes that aren't good on me.

Did you catch that last thing? The sizes thing? Oh yes ma'am, my mind sees such glorious possibilities for smaller sizes but alas I had a complete epiphany in the dressing room yesterday.

Why do I care what size my pants are?

It's not like the size is printed in a place for people to see. Only I have privy to such knowledge. So, Shari encouraged me to go up a pant size while trying on some things.

My heart started beating fast and I started thinking about all the good eating I have done in an effort to slim down a tad. With the exception of the yogurt machine obsession on the cruise, I have done well watching what I eat and exercising.

I certainly have not done all that just to go UP a pants size. Thank you very much, have a nice day.

"Trust me," she gently encouraged/ commanded/ bossed me.

I tried the larger size of pants and they were too big in the waste. See! See!

However, my hips wanted to throw their arms around Shari and thank her from the bottom of their heart. If hips had arms and a heart that is.

Anyhow.

Shari informed me that there is a reason people visit alterationists. They can be my friend. Once Shari showed me the way pants are supposed to fit and how to have them taken in to really fit my body, I've never felt better.

For the first time in a really long time, I stood in the dressing room mirror, and didn't hate the fact that I carry a little junk in my trunk.

So, I walked out of the store with a larger pant size- completely different colors than I'd ever picked for myself- and styles that invited me slightly out of my comfort zone. And I was smiling from ear to ear. Instead of complaining about the way I've been designed, I embraced it.

Something Shari said just kept ringing in my ears--- "Lysa, you are most beautiful when you are closest to the way God created you." Amen sister. Amen.

So, the next time you see me, I will be the girl in a bright red jacket and some really swanky black pants. And no, I won't tell you what size they are. By then, I won't remember because that tag is being cut out and tossed away. Which is the best weight loss plan I've heard of in a really long time.

Rockin' Good Time

We are back from the cruise and I've just now stopped swaying enough to focus on my keyboard. We had a rockin' good time.

Emphasis on the word rockin'. As in back and forth, back and forth, back and forth and back and forth some more.

Thank the Lord a sweet angel of a lady gave me some sea bands to wear before I had to speak. Another speaker was not so fortunate. There may or may not have been an incident where a speaker had to run off the stage and you know what.

Yuck. Especially because she could not get the microphone off her head before you know whating.

Mercy.

Anywhoooo......

I would love to show you my tropical tan. Unfortunately the tropical tanning lotion I used made big promises it could not deliver. I still have pasty white skin. Except for my arm pits and one knee cap. They are burnt to a crisp.

But the absolute cure for a girl lacking in a tan on a cruise is to make frequent visits to the most delicious soft serve yogurt machine often. We are talking morning, noon and night people. I am still dreaming about the deliciousness I found there.

Not to mention the famous people who I got to meet near the yogurt machine y'all.

Do you remember DJ from Full House--- Candace Cameron?

Stop it.

Yup, I got to meet her.

Phil Joel?

Stop it!

Yup, met him too.

Big Daddy Weave?

Stop it, stop it, stop it!!!

Yup, he loves him some soft serve yogurt as well.

As does Karen Kingsbury, Angela Thomas, Shane and Shane, Robin Gunn, Shannon Etheridge, Suzie Shellenberger, and my soul sister friend Aiyesha Woods.

And I fully realize I probably misspelled half of their names but maybe their heads are rocking as badly as mine is today and they won't notice. Smiles!

The only thing that was missing to make it a perfect cruise was YOU!!!

Oh, how I wished I'd begged and pleaded and more of you would have been there.

Think of all the fun we could have stalking all the famous people together. Eating yogurt together. And getting burned arm pits and one burned knee cap together!

So, if I ever do the Premiere Christian Cruise again, will you come???

Big hugs sweet friends. It is good to be home.

I don't get all worked up over grades

The other day I overheard one of my kids telling their friend that they were so glad I didn't get all worked up over grades. Not trying to be nosey but totally wanting to be nosey, I kept listening.

My child went on to explain they are expected to do their best but in the end, as long as they worked hard, we'd be okay with whatever grade they got.

For the most part, this is right.

This hasn't always been the case. When my oldest daughter started kindergarten I felt compelled to help her succeed. I felt this enormous pressure that success in school meant success in life and I wanted to set my child up for success.

She was a bright child. She was an articulate child. But try as I might all through kindergarten, she couldn't read.

Then came 1st grade. All of the other kids in her class were reading with ease. Some were even reading chapter books! Not my daughter. I panicked. I had her tested. I worried constantly that I must be doing something wrong as her mother.

In the end, it was a readiness issue with her. When she was ready, she starting reading.

Then along came my next child who was reading at 4 years old. Finally, I'd done something right, I reasoned.

But then child number three came along and was my slowest reader yet.

Through all of this, God started to untangle that misperception that success in school determines success in life. And that as a parent, it is up to me to push, plead, demand, and determine my child's future.

Slowly, I realized that God has a plan for each of my kids. As long as I am depending on the Lord to guide me as a parent, nothing I do or don't do, will mess up my kid's future.

As their parent, it is my job to guide them. But my guiding shouldn't have the ultimate goal in mind of them making straight A's. My guiding should be focused on leading them into a relationship with God where He'll make their path straight, no matter what their grades are.

As a parent, this revelation has provided such freedom for me and my kids.

I can celebrate that if one of my kids excels in a subject, that success is needed for whatever God intends for them to eventually do in life. If however, a child struggles and can't grasp a certain subject, well that's also part of God's direction.

Of course working hard, doing your best, and being a conscientious student is important. But in the end, for me and my home, grades are not the ultimate determination of success.

So, all that to say, yeah- I don't get all worked up over grades.

Granted

~ It's a Holly day today!

I'm curious. What did your Tuesday hold?

hubby to work
read
jogged
daughter to school
took son to dermatologist
looked for tab dividers at Target
looked for tab dividers at CVS
found tab dividers at Walgreens
took son to school
worked at Lysa's
phone calls
emails
contracts
booked flights
took a walk with a friend
phone calls
dusted
daughter home from school
daughter to work
son home from school
more phone calls
son to soccer
hubby home
dinner with hubby
laundry
son home from soccer
daughter home from work

As we settle down to regroup, I don't take for granted the fact that we all arrived home safely once again. Thank you Lord. Thank you for another day.

Last week a friend from Oregon called to say that her hubby was at the end of his fight with brain cancer. Sean was only 54.

What will our Wednesday hold?

I am not sure yet. But I do know this...I will not take it for granted.

___________

Please pray as Lysa and I head out on our Premier Christian Carnival Cruise tomorrow where she will be speaking several times throughout the weekend. May many lives be changed! And as for me? It's a tough job, but someone has to take care of her. :)

We will try to post some fun pics!

~ Holly

Unanswered E-mails

Sometimes being in ministry is stinkin' hard. Bare with me through a few essential details to understand what I mean.

Yesterday was a full day.

I had to give Mark a little talkin' to about why it's important to remember to turn the stove top off when he finishes cooking soup. He remembered to remove the pot. He even remembered to rinse the pot out after eating his soup straight from said pot. But the flame--- the flame! The flame burned unsupervised for many hours. Mercy!

Jackson is knee deep in college applications and the world of possibilities that stretch out before him. Still a boy, yet very much a man. And still scratching his head when I tried to explain how crucial it is to get the correct Weight Watcher chocolate cakes and Slim Fast fudge bars from the grocery--- because you do NOT mess with a dieting woman's food for heaven's sake.

Brooke admitted she lost her toothbrush and has been using her finger--- for a week. (Insert a mom gagging here.)

Hope needed me to help edit her paper on the novel "Animal Farm." There should be a law against moms having to try and comprehend books about animals that have strong political parallels with the Russian Revolution and other historical situations. The complexity made my brain throb.

Ashley is at a major cross roads. Her gymnastics injury still hasn't healed enough for her to get back into the sport she loves. This is huge in her little world and she needs help navigating through the probable loss of something she loves doing.

Combine all this with a run to Target. A run to the grocery. Another run to the grocery because all brain cells were left sitting on the counter next to the list that got left at home. And five loads of laundry--- and you have a day filled with choices to love those right in front of me while hundreds of e-mails sat unanswered.

Hundreds of e-mails that may sit unanswered tomorrow and the next day as well.

It's not that I don't want to answer all those e-mails. It's not that I don't love and care for and desire to touch all those lives being lived on the other side of cyber world.

It's just that I'm in a season where I've had to make peace with not being able to be all things to all people so that I can be a mom to some really important little people.

People that need a new toothbrush and reminders to turn the stove off. People that need to be told they are loved to the moon and back--- that they are loved more than all those e-mails.

Yet, in making those choices, I inevitably become a disappointment to other people.

This past weekend, I got an anonymous comment here on the blog under my contact me page that stung. It read:

"Lysa, I have heard you speak and your story really touched my heart. I sent you a note and I didn't ever get a response. You don't even read your own emails...your assistant takes care of them and she doesn't even respond? Your story is great, your cause is great, it unfortunate to see that you have gotten bigger than all of it. Books and events will never replace the impact you can make with a little personal attention. Thank you."

Oh dear anonymous friend, please understand, it is not because I am bigger that I haven't responded yet. It is because I make choices everyday to keep my heart in the small, wonderful, place called my home.

God has called me to share my story but please know, I am a flawed woman.

I share my story to lead people to Jesus---not to lead people to me. Jesus is the only One able to lavish people with personal attention tailor made for each and every soul.

Please know that I read and treasure every e-mail I get. But in this season of my life, answering every e-mail is something I've had to let go of--- so I can hold on to my priority blessings while they still need their momma.

Oh dear friend, I pray this post helps you understand ~

Hello World, Meet Cheddar Cole

Here is the winning comment:

Hi! I'm Caroline and I had a Guinea pig named Cupcake, but he died too. :(I think CHEDDAR is a cute name for your hampster. my mom loves to read your moms blog. she sits at her computer and laughs and reads us the stories! :) CHEDDAR COLE!Caroline, age 10

Caroline, I think you are the perfect winner. We loved your suggestion. We love that you are the same age as Brooke. And we totally loved that you spelled hamster- "hampster" because that is the way we spelled it before spell check took away all our fun!

But, Brooke is worried that you might not want a $10 certificate to Starbucks.

So, we can be flexible on that. Just e-mail us at holly@Proverbs31.org and we'll figure out your prize!

And yes, we know that Cheddar is a food name but we came to the realization that dogs don't care what something is named when deciding whether or not to "play a little too rough" with it.
So, we will keep Cheddar far up and away from all barking, rough playing dogs.

On a completely different note, Art and I had a wonderful time on our get away. We both came back from skiing without breaking any limbs.

There is however, a slight issue with Art having a stage 2 separated shoulder that may or may not need surgery.

Mercy.

Prayers much appreciated.

And if anyone has any great suggestions on the rapid healing of a stage 2 separated shoulder, that would be fantastic. Otherwise, he may be sitting around bonding with a certain small rodent and feeling slightly cheesy.

Pun intended.