Capturing Time

Sometimes the best snapshots of life happen accidentally. This is one of those pictures.

It is from a wedding that Brooke was in this past weekend. My oldest daughter snapped it just as I was opening the back doors of the church to ask Brooke and the other flower girls to come outside.

I'm not sure why it touches my heart so much. Maybe because as her mom I know I must open those doors that allow her to grow up though my heart begs her to stay small.

This single shot somehow captured that tug between my head and heart.

This day she would walk down the aisle wearing a long white dress, carrying flowers, wearing a nervous little smile, and blushing at the excitement of the day.

At the end of this day she would still come home with us. Her Daddy would still say prayers with her, tuck her into the safety of a pink comforter and make sure all her stuffed animals were within reach.

There will come another day much like this one. She will walk down the aisle wearing a long white dress, carrying flowers, wearing a nervous little smile, and blushing at the excitement of the day.

But at the end of that day she will not come home with us.

Her Daddy and I will wave goodbye as her groom whisks her away. And we will grab our hearts as we feel the last thread of her childhood being snipped. And on that beautiful night I pray it is her groom that says prayers with her, tucks her into the safety of his arms, and reassures her that his hand will always be within reach.

Just like her Daddy still does with me.

Is it possible to make your own gasoline?

Just as a reminder... the movie "Fireproof "opens this weekend. It is worth seeing and supporting!!!

Oh I had some big plans for a little kitchen extravaganza today... complete with featuring several of you and your recipes and your blogs. It was going to be a tasty day for sure.

And then the writing bug finally bit me once again. All things homemakerish have gone to a far away place temporarily. Kind of like gasoline. Just as a side note, we have none in this town o' mine. None.

Oh the homemakerish things will be back next week as soon as this book is done.

I will have to be especially homemakerish next week if the gas doesn't return. I think I'll be scrounging the neighbor's corn fields gleaning left over stalks and trying to figure out a way to make some kind of home made ethylene. Can't you make gasoline from that?

Or is that the making of moonshine? Can cars run on moonshine?

I was talking with a friend yesterday about the lack of gas and the economy. Isn't it interesting that when America started talking about taking "In God We Trust" off our money, that things started going down hill? Almost as if God is saying, "If you take me off your money, I will take the money off of you."

Not that I'm trying to put words in God's mouth. I'm just making an observation. God has been patient with America for a long time.

Now on a slightly related note...

I am working on finalizing the chapter that invites people into the glorious possibility of seeing God and recognizing His hand of activity in their lives. And I want to get your input. I have quoted many of you in the book so far. I'll be sending out e-mails in the next couple of weeks letting those of you that I've quoted so far know about it.

But today I'd like to gather some more of your thoughts.

Have you ever been frustrated when others talk about hearing from God or seeing His activity in their life?

What do you think holds some people back from experiencing God and hearing from Him?

Lastly, look at these following verses and if anything strikes you, let me know your thoughts.

Thanks sweet friends. Have a happy weekend! Here are the verses:


1 Corinthians 2: 9-11, "However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man's spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God."

Isaiah 48: 3-6, "I foretold the former things long ago, my mouth announced them and I made them known; then suddenly I acted, and they came to pass. For I knew how stubborn you were; the sinews of your neck were iron, your forehead was bronze. Therefore I told you these things long ago; before they happened I announced them to you so that you could not say, 'My idols did them; my wooden image and metal god ordained them.' You have heard these things; look at them all. Will you not admit them? "From now on I will tell you of new things, of hidden things unknown to you. "

Matthew 13: 33- 35, "He told them still another parable: "The kingdom of heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into a large amount[a] of flour until it worked all through the dough." Jesus spoke all these things to the crowd in parables; he did not say anything to them without using a parable. So was fulfilled what was spoken through the prophet: "I will open my mouth in parables, I will utter things hidden since the creation of the world."

For Proverbs 31 Ministries

I woke up at 4:30 this morning to the sound of rushing wind. I thought it might be storming so I got up and looked out the window. I often have to do this if I hear something outside because Art has that sound machine... I may have mentioned it before. Ahem.

It tricks me into thinking it is raining every night. I love my husband dearly but I will state publicly that I am not crazy about that sound machine. Love is patient... love is kind...

Anyhow, when I looked out the window, I was amazed at how the wind can make trees bend and sway. The wind. These are huge trees. If I walked up to one of those trees and with all my might tried to make it bend and sway I could not. But this rush of wind could.

It almost looked as if they were bowing down in worship. So, this beautiful picture formed in my mind of God walking amongst nature and His creation not being able to resist bowing and worshipping Him.

God is mighty. God is all caring. God is worthy of praise. God is loving. God is able. God is in control. Nothing takes God by surprise.

I was glad to have these solid truths as the foundation within my soul. After watching President Bush address the financial crisis our country is in, my sleep was restless. But something about seeing those trees brought such peace to my heart.

I know beyond a shadow of doubt that no matter what, God is with me. And the security that brings me is indescribable.

But many, many people do not have this peace. Lately, at Proverbs 31 Ministries we have been getting call after call from women in desperate situations. Just yesterday morning we received a message from a woman sobbing. She had planned to take her life but then somehow read a devotion that we'd sent out. Through that devotion she paused just long enough for God to reach her and stop her.

She was sobbing so uncontrollably that my staff couldn't help but cry as they listened to the message. She was a woman saved in more ways than one.

We also received an e-mail from a lady in Pakistan who has secretly become a Christian and considers our website a life line of hope.

The stories of lives touched, hearts healed, and families restored take my breath away. God is moving.

But the reality of this economy has made things tough for us as a ministry. Needs are way up. Financial provision is down.

Right now we are running our on-line giving campaign at Proverbs 31. Would you consider doing three things:

1. If your life has been touched by this ministry some how, would you consider leaving a comment below today. Even if you want to leave it anonymously, that would be fine. I want to use some of these testimonials in a letter to our regular givers at the end of the year.

2. If you can give, will you? Even if it is just $5, $10, or whatever you can... it all makes a difference. You can read more about our needs by clicking here. You can link directly to our giving page by clicking here.

3. Will you pray for us? I believe in the power of prayer.

Thank you so very much.

Nesting

I am down to the home stretch with writing my next book, "Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl." I wrote to my prayer team last night asking for prayer and thought maybe I'd ask you as well.

Finishing a book for me is much like getting ready for a baby. For some reason it makes me want to nest and do strange homemakerish things when I really should be writing, writing, writing.

I have put out all my fall decor, washed so much laundry that I smell like fabric softener, and stocked my kitchen with so much food you would think we are about to experience a Y2K situation. I even bought one of those frozen pies to make this week. If I wear an apron while putting in it the oven, my family might just keel over and ask what in heavens has possessed me.

And let's not forget all of those fine and fabulous recipes that you supplied me with... oh yes I have some grand plans in the cooking department as well!

Anyhow, I have one chapter left to write plus a few odds and ends to wrap up from a couple of other chapters. Right now I am at 53,000 words with 7,000 more to go. This should be very doable within this next week. Unless of course I keep getting distracted by all things homemakerish.

Will you please pray for continued focus, spiritual wisdom and protection as I finish up this project. As soon as I'm done, there will be a little celebration of some sorts. I haven't quite figured out what that will look like, so if you have any ideas, do tell.

In the meantime, here are some of the things I've been nesting over...


Little pumpkins tucked here and there are so fun when decorating for fall. I found these at the grocery store this week. Yes, I cheated on my beloved Costco and went to the Harris Teeter instead. Everything was a dollar more... everything. Sigh... but I did find these corn husk pumpkins on sale and they made me smile.

A couple of years ago I started switching out a few photo frames with seasonal pictures. Of course these fall ones have been up for a year as I got a little slack in switching them out. But it is a fun idea and one that I hope to keep up with this year.

Somehow this use of seasonal pictures makes me feel a little better about being hopelessly behind in my photo albums.

Simple little fall leaf wreaths can be used for more than just hanging on a door. Place them under anything that has a circular base and viola... instant fall decor. Easy and inexpensive as well!

If only this table always looked this neat and tidy. Don't let me deceive you sisters! It is usually filled with homework books, stray notes, crumbs from an array of foods, and mail piles. But every now and then, all that gets cleared off and I light a candle or two.

Thank you Walmart for these wicker plate chargers... I heart them very much. And thank you for the brown silkish napkins. And most of all thank you for these little autumn flower picks that only cost 75 cents. I wrapped their stems around the napkin and loved the result.

Now, if only I can wrap my brain around the remainder of my book writing project, life will be good. Happy Fall Y'all! Thanks for your prayers.

The upcoming election

Oh I am so excited about all those recipes you posted yesterday. I am going to have a hard time picking just one to feature. Hmmm... I may have to make it some sort of series. Although it could be slightly scary to have me in the kitchen for an extended period of time.

But I just might be up for a little culinary adventure y'all.

We'll see.

Okay on to today's post...

Four years ago I was very excited to teach my kids about the election process. I wanted them to be able to understand how things work and why it is important for us to vote.

I also wanted them learn how to stay informed about the different candidates. I didn't want them to just say they were for the same candidate as me and not know why.

So we not only studied the election process, we also studied the different political parties and where they stand on important issues.

I must admit, I learned as much if not more than my kids. How is it that I graduated from both high school and college and really hadn't a clue about all of this before? Seriously.

My only fancy comment about the electoral process before studying it all with my kids was something like, "Hanging chads are bad. Very bad." And sadly, I felt kind-of smart saying that.

We read books from the library. We researched the Internet. We went on field trips and got buttons to wear with our favorite candidate's names on them.

All was great until one of my button wearing daughters was questioned by someone about her choice of candidates. This lady leaned down and said, "Oh honey, you're not hoping he'll win are you?"

"Why yes I am." My little girl confidently replied and then asked the lady, "Who are you voting for?"

Unfortunately the lady was very bold in announcing her choice of a candidate. A candidate we'd just studied whose beliefs were not ones with which my daughter agreed.

Without hesitation my wide-eyed child looked right at me, gasped, and blurted out, "Mama is she going to hell?"

Have mercy. My face turned completely red. I would have been perfectly fine with the floor opening and swallowing us both.

I quickly discerned we had us some more learning to do.

So, how are you preparing your family to be informed about the upcoming election? Have you found any helpful resources? Websites?

Have you thought about how to teach your kids to understand the issues and back certain candidates without judging others?

It is a balance requiring lots of grace is it not...

The pies will be of the boxed variety

First, I have to say thank you for the overwhelming response to last Thursday's post. I decided not to post on Friday in hopes of encouraging you to take time to read through some of the comments. They will both break your heart and encourage you.

Secondly, Happy first day of fall.

I was speaking in Florida all weekend and the weather there still very much thinks it is summer. Not that it's that much different in North Carolina yet either. But regardless, I am planning to put out a few colored leaves, maybe a fake mum or two and a pumkin very soon.

It just makes me feel homemakerish. Which I wish I could be more homemakerish. Like those of you who make pies. I've never made one of those.

I've assisted Sarah Lee a time or two by preheating my oven. I've even tried my hand at making cobblers... but homemade pies seem overwhelming to me.

To be honest homemade pies are slightly unecessary for my crew here. If I had them close their eyes and do a little tastetesting, they would not be able to tell the difference between store bought and homemade for anything.

Notice the close their eyes part. Yes, because the tangled mess of dough on top of the homemade pie would be a dead giveaway which one was to be avoided... mine.

So, I save time and sanity by letting pie bakers make pies.

But I am curious about something. If the putting out of leaves and mums and pumpkins does put me in a homemakerish mood this week and I want to make something warm and comforting in my kitchen this week, what do you suggest?

Do you have a favorite soup recipe? A favorite something yummy that can be thrown in the crockpot? A casserole perhaps?

Now don't go all Rachel or Martha on me. If a recipe is too complicated my eyes cross, my motivation flies out the window, and my fingers automatically dial for take out.

But if you have a recipe that you think might be easy enough for a gal like me, post it in the comments below. My plan is to pick one or two of your recipes and make them this week.

Of course, I will give you total credit. Maybe I'll take pictures to post on the blog and you will see a sign hanging in my kitchen saying we heart you and your recipe.

And I know you pie bakers are going to totally want to try and win me over. All I can say is that I heart you. I heart pies. I heart people who make them. But I do not heart thinking of trying to attempt them myself.

So, on that note, I am off to burn a pie smelling candle, write down a boxed Sarah Lee on my gorcery list and wait excitedly for your recipes.

My Letter to David

Today I have a devotion running over at Proverbs 31 Ministries called "My Secret." If you are interested you can read it by clicking here.

I would imagine some of you have wondered why I would share a story about my life that is so personal, so painful.

There are several reasons. First, I have been called by God to do so. Not everyone is called to share their deepest secrets with the world. But I have been, therefore part of my sharing is out of my great love for God and how He's healed me.

But another great reason I share is because I wish I could have talked to me years ago. I wish I'd heard one woman, any woman, tell about her heartbreak as a result of having an abortion before I'd had mine. My decision would have been different.

Genesis 50:20 says, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."

The last reason I share my story is because I know that statistics show 1 in 3 women inside the church have had an abortion. How can this be true when no one is talking about this?

There are thousands upon thousands of women who walk in and out of the doors of church each week dying from a horrible shame locked deep inside them. I know. For years my abortion rendered me incapable of being myself, serving God and even loving my family.

So, I have a passion to share with women that healing is possible.

Part of my healing came from naming my child and writing a letter to him. I don't know for sure whether my child was a boy or a girl, but in my heart I believe we would have had a son named David.

Here is a letter I wrote to David that pretty much explains the last reason I have to share my story. It's a promise kept.

My dearest David,

The words ‘I’m sorry’ do not seem quite enough to express the deep, heartfelt regret I have about the wrong decision your father and I made when we found out we were pregnant with you.

I have so often longed to hold you and tell you how much I love you. But for now I must trust Jesus to do that for me. I am writing you this letter because I want to know that your life, although very short, was not for nothing. Jesus has begun a wonderful work in me.

For a long time the fear of rejection ruled my life. I had a little closet in my heart where I kept all of my deepest hurts and worst secrets under tight lock and key. I was deceived by Satan to think that if anyone ever discovered my closet and what was inside, I would be rejected by everyone, including Jesus.

This deception and fear of rejection is what caused me to end your life before you had the chance of being born. But what the devil meant for evil, God meant for good.

You see David, your mom through Jesus, has conquered that great fear of being rejected. I now know who I am in Christ and that there is no condemnation in Him. I have given the key to my heart to Jesus and have allowed Him to open me, heal me, and use me.

There will be many people who know about you David and the great significance of your life. Many hearts will be turned back Jesus, healed and forever changed because of hearing about you.

I will always miss you David and wonder what life might be like if you were here. I can’t wait to get to heaven and finally get to hold you myself. Until then blow me kisses from heaven and I’ll carry them in my heart.

I love you,

Mommy

Full Circle

A few weeks ago, I wrote about the circles that appear every now and then on my bedroom window. If you missed that post, click here to read it.

Anyhow, since then I've been trying to get a picture of the circles. The problem is that they don't appear very often.

Many mornings I wake up to condensation on my windows but no circles. Every now and then the circles are there but for the life of me I couldn't get them to show up in any photo I took.

Finally, I captured this shot. The intertwined circles that look so much like wedding bands to me, are faintly captured here. This picture still doesn't do them justice but at least you can all see that I am not going crazy and imagining things. Not yet anyhow.

These circle have become one of my most treasured things about my home. And while some would argue that they are there because of left over instrument residue from installation, I'm not buying it.

That window has been there for over 15 years and the circles have just now started appearing. Plus, like I said before they only appear in the condensation every now and then. To be honest, I don't need a physical explanation because their spiritual meaning to me far outweighs the need to now how they get there.

And if you have a minute I'd like to share why.

When Art and I got married, things were very hard for us. We'd made some decisions while dating that rendered our love hostage to things like regret, disappointment, and shame. In 1 Corinthians chapter 13 we find the first word used to describe love is patient.

We had not been patient with our love and I wound up pregnant. My family was still reeling from the death of my youngest sister. How could I add this to their overwhelming grief? Alone and scared, I went to an abortion clinic. When I left that place, I knew they had taken my baby but they had taken part of my heart as well.

I never thought I'd be able to love, laugh, or really live ever again.

Despite all of the heartbreak and turmoil, we got married. I quickly discovered it is impossible to love another person when you desperately hate yourself. Shame does ugly things to people.

It took years and many Divine interactions with God to bring hope back into our hearts and into our marriage. So, when I see the circles now, I can't help but think this is one more of those Divine interactions.

God has healed us, restored us, and helped us fall in love again. Ours has not been a journey of romantic feelings that sparked and have been burning strong ever since.

Our love has been a series of decisions to be obedient to God's principles even when our feelings wanted out. We had to be obedient first, and then eventually our feelings caught up.

Now,16 years later, I can finally say without hesitation that I am crazy in love with my man. And I'm forever grateful to the God of all grace who saw fit to bring two disobedient young people back from the brink of destruction.

Back to love.

Back to Him.

Back to each other.

Full circle.

Eyebrows

I have long said that when God is speaking to me about something, His confirmations seem to be everywhere.

So, last week I mentioned my sheer joy (ahem) over football season that proves to be helpful for shapely eyebrows. My family watches. I entertain myself with plucking.

The problem is there are more games than eyebrow hairs that need to be plucked. So, I feared that might be facing some sort of eyebrow tragedy.

That is until I went to church this weekend. My pastor did some mighty fine preaching on how God uses ordinary people and how the original Greek word for ordinary is something like idiotay. That is not the correct word but that is how my southern ears heard it and translated it to my notes.

Anyhow.

In an effort prove how ordinary he is and how God still uses him to pastor our church, he told told us a personal story.

And I kid you not, it was about eyebrows.

Supposedly, he was about conduct a wedding a few years ago when he suddenly decided to trim his eyebrows before leaving for the church. Distracted by the many hair products he was using to fluff and spike his hair, he did a quick swipe on each of his eyebrows with his little trimmer thing.

Then as he was brushing his teeth, he saw a horrible sight. The guard for his trimmer thing was laying beside hair gel number 3.

Mercy.

Please have mercy.

Please have mercy on my eyebrows.

He prayed some very urgent prayers.

To no avail.

He had in fact completely shaved off both of his eyebrows. Completely.

Panicked, he called his wife and she instructed him to get an eye pencil from her makeup bag and draw them back on.

He did this very thing. And then went to conduct the wedding... under hot bright lights... that made him sweat... and made his eyebrows melt and droop and drip.

They flashed a picture of him up on the power point screens. I could hardly contain myself.

And I sure did make a vow to stop all my random plucking during said football games. I might have even toyed with the idea of becoming an all out fan. Or to at least turn my attention to my overgrown cuticles.

So, just out of curiosity, who out there does some sort of eyebrow grooming and who could care less?

The crazy little thing called an expiration date

I have a love hate relationship with all things culinary.

The thing is I am a creative person and I love to eat. So one would thing the kitchen would be the perfect place for me. However, there is just too much pressure.

I like for the creative mood to strike me every couple of days or so. But that’s not how the people’s stomachs in my house operate. The people I live with like to eat three meals a day.

And then there is this issue with fresh things going bad. I can go to the store, buy all kinds of breads and fresh meats and lots of green things but by the time I get it all put away, I have used up all my brain cells.

I then need a few days to feel motivated to do something with all those supplies. By then half of it has gone bad. Then I feel terrible and resort back to boxed items that only need to have water added.

You know it’s bad when the lack of your kitchen savvy starts to effect the way your kids think about cooking. The other day my 9 year old daughter was pretending she was the next Rachel Ray as she demonstrated to her pretend TV audience how to make sweet rolls.

She first instructed her audience to lay out all the ingredients, preheat the oven and melt some butter in the microwave.

Then she took a triangle of crescent roll dough from a tube and told her audience to butter one side and sprinkle it with cinnamon sugar. “Then you take a marshmallow and hold it up. You check all sides of it make sure there is no mold. Then you wrap the crescent roll around it.”

Excuse me?

Did my child just instruct the pretend thousands watching her show that the marshmallows from my kitchen must be checked for mold?

Clearly I will not be hearing from the real Rachel Ray anytime soon asking me to be a guest on her show.

Unless of course she decided to do some sort of extreme homemaker makeover, then I would make a mighty fine candidate for sure.

An oil change too nifty not to share

Hello all - it's a Holly-Day today ~


Yesterday I went to Tire Kingdom to get the oil changed in our van. It was due time, since I was 1,800 miles past the recommended mile marker. As some of you may already know, vehicle up keep and maintenance are not necessarily in my family genes.

Tire Kingdom is conveniently located right next to a Bi-Lo grocery store. While my van was being poked and prodded, I was happy to get in some much needed grocery shopping.

The world's most incredible cashier works at this Bi-Lo. Her name is Shirley. And if I didn't already have a best friend, she would be mine for sure. She lives her life out loud. Her vocabulary is sprinkled with words such as but not limited to, "God bless you honey child, baby darlin', bless bless bless you today you sweet baby."

This will often be repeated at least twice with similar variations. So if you are tired or lonely when you walk in to Bi-Lo, you never leave feeling that way after meeting Shirley.

I only get a chance to see Shirley during my Tire Kingdom oil change trips. And this time I undeniably felt led to bless her monetarily.

Upon receiving my receipt from her, I simply handed her $20 and told her to do something special for herself.

After tears, hugs and I love yous were exchanged I was back in the Tire Kingdom waiting room with a happy heart. I told the Lord I wouldn't tell anyone about my little gift to Shirley. It would be between me, Shirley, the customer behind me, and God. Safely tucked inside my heart.

But what ensued is too nifty not to share.

A few minutes later an elderly gentlemen walked into the waiting area from seemingly no where and handed me a newspaper clipping of Tire Kingdom coupons. "Here, see if you can use any of these," he quipped and left as quickly as he came.

I don't know about you, but whatever service I'm getting, or make-up I'm purchasing, or dress I'm buying, often times my items don't fall within the coupons discount parameters.

But not this time.

As I was paying for my service, I couldn't help but notice that the price they were going to charge me for my oil change and tire rotation was $45.98. But with my handy coupon from my 'random' friend, my bill was only $21.99. God blessed me for my obedience, almost to the penny.

I went about the rest of my day with an extra kick in my step.

God is alive and active. He is mighty and faithful. He is present during our trials and our triumphs. And He is present in the smallest details of each day. Completely almighty, unfathomable and undeniable.

He is too nifty not to share.

_____________________________________________

Many many thanks to all who wished me a happy birthday! Your sweet statements and poems were incredibly encouraging and quite clever. The Target gift card goes to Joyful.

Blessings for an incredible weekend!

~Holly

Remembering

Thank you all for helping make Holly's birthday so happy and poetic. You gals made us laugh with all your rhyming creativity. We'll post the winner tomorrow. Oh and by the way, we didn't wind up eating at Target. She finally decided on a place called "The Cajun Yard Dog." Have mercy. I have to admit it was good.

For today's post I'd like to pause...

and remember...

and pay tribute to all the victims of 9/11 and their families.

I'll never forget standing in front of my TV that horrific day watching events unfold that I simply couldn't process.

I find myself thinking of all those lost and their families quite often. I think about how they must have spent their last few hours in such normal, everyday ways. Just like us they got up, kissed loved ones, got kids ready for school, chatted on their cell phones, and prepared for just another day.

And just like us they assumed, there would be many more days ahead.

The loved ones left behind have had 7 years to grieve their loss and time does do wonderful healing things. But today will be hard.

Won't you join me in remembering those lost and those left behind? If you want to pray specifically for a victim and their family today, please click here to see a complete list of names.

Pick one and pray and remember. If you have time leave the name of the family you prayed for in the comments below.

Want to win a $20 Target Card?

Well, today is a real "Holly-Day!"

Someone we all know and love will be blowing out some candles today. When we offered to take her out to her favorite restaurant for dinner tonight, she picked the Target hot dog and pretzel stand.

Have mercy.

Next thing you know she'll also be putting in a special request for a ride on that mattress in my pond. It's still there you know. I'm tempted to just plant some flowers in it and call it a floating garden. I feel a trend coming on.

And in an effort to wish her the best birthday ever, I'm having a little contest.

The prize?

A $20 Target card. You too can go try out their fine food and help celebrate Holly's birthday at this high class eatery.

Or not.

Anyhow, here's how you can play...

Write some kind of poem about Holly.

It can be about her birthday... or her cute hair do... or her kind heart... or her uncanny ability to dent her car when she pulls into the garage 50% of the time... or her love for cheese balls... or whatever!

Come on, get those creative juices flowing.

If thinking of a short poem is more than you can do...
just leave her a birthday wish that is happy and I'll still enter you.
But really don't you want the brain stimulation of trying to rhyme a word or two?

And make sure you leave some way for me to contact you.

Because really, a $20 Target certificate could buy a whole lot of hot dogs... you know those tubed pork products of questionable nutritional value. Nothing speaks celebration quite like that!

Good Mom, Bad Mom, Good Mom

Good mom?

Bad Mom?

Good Mom?

Bad Mom?

Do you ever feel as though you are the ping pong ball in a heated match bouncing from feeling like a good mom to a bad mom constantly.

One minute I have a great discussion where my child finally gets it... GOOD MOM!

The next I get an e-mail from a teacher that lists the three parents who have yet to turn in that permission slip and I am on the list for all the world to see... BAD MOM!

I calmly handle the stresses of the morning routine... GOOD MOM!

But then during the afternoon homework session, my child's irresponsibility over a last minute project just about sends me over the edge. I find my neck muscles tensing and my voice rising... BAD MOM!

I make sure they pack something healthy for lunch... GOOD MOM!

The schedule falls apart in the late after noon and I wind up feeding them sugar cereal for dinner... BAD MOM!

This past weekend, I loved reading everyone's comments. But to be honest, I found myself feeling the need to let you know that things are not always peachy and spiritually inspiring over here at the TerKeurst's.

Sometimes I feel like that ping pong ball mom bouncing from feeling good to bad to good to bad.

Yesterday morning I sat down at the kitchen table after getting everyone where they needed to be and cried. Yup, right there in the shadow of my flowers, big ol' tears flowed.

Sometimes having kids is the greatest thing that has ever happened in my life. Other days I feel like the task of parenting little people is driving me to the brink of craziness.

Just the other day I was going through some chapters from my new book with Renee over the phone. Suddenly a strange theme seemed to arise. I just started laughing. I told Renee that too many chapters seemed to tell the same kind of story... I was on the verge of a breakdown and then I spent some time with Jesus and he made things better.

Renee quipped back to me, "Well, isn't that where most of us live?"

Not that we are on the edge of a breakdown, but we live in a place of utter dependence on God. I know as a mom, I live in constant need of His love, encouragement, wisdom, perspective, strength, patience, and grace.

Anything I do right as a mom, is because of my constant dialogs with God.

Anything I do wrong as a mom, is because of trying to do things in my own strength and slap wearing myself out.

That's were Grace steps in. And I need lots of grace. God's grace steps in says, "Lysa, you are doing better than you think. Stop bouncing from feeling good to bad to good to bad. In the good times, rejoice and thank me. In the not so good times, call out to me quickly."

And suddenly it occurred to me, with God I'm never a bad mom. I might be having a bad moment... or two... or seventeen. But a few bad moments does not define me as a bad mom.

God's grace is there to cover me. Teach me. And even in the middle of a bad moment, interrupt me, redirect me, and change me.

Forgiveness is there.

Love is there.

A second chance for this minute... this interaction with my child... this temper that started to flare... is there.

Psalm 73: 26, "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

You are a good mom my friend...even if like me you've had a few bad moments... you are still a good mom. Let's live in that truth today.

Congrats to Runner Mom. She was the winner of my book "The Bathtub is Overflowing But I Feel Drained."

The Domestic Bug

Each week when I'm shopping for groceries I have this little situation in the flower section. I want to buy some. And this is the funny thing about that... I have made a bold statement to my husband that I am not a flower girl.

The reality is I really do like flowers. But I don't want him to buy them for me when some calendar alarm goes off on his palm pilot signaling that every other poor man will need to rush by the grocery to buy his girl a token of love.

Canned proclamations of love are nice in a pinch but really, it's the non-holiday cards, notes, and bouquets that mean so much more.

I'd rather have a dandelion that he stopped and picked on a non-event day than a dozen roses on a Hallmark holiday.

I'm just strange like that.

Plus the dandelion won't cost anything. And I'm very practical. It's hard to think about spending money on something that is going to be dead in a week.

With all this said, why do I look at the flowers every week conveniently positioned in the grocery store between the bananas and the bread? I buy both bananas and bread every week. And every week I am tempted to buy a bouquet of fresh cut flowers.

I stand there and try to justify spending that money on something that I want. Then I start thinking about gas prices, clothes for the kids, the computer we need, and how expensive those bananas and loaves of bread are. So, I sigh and pass by those happy blossoms.

Well, yesterday I was in the Costco y'all and something just came over me. I think I was just so giddy about bringing my food from afar with such fine discounts that when I got to the flowers I could not pass them by.

They were beautiful and being sold at a discount. I reached out and grabbed a bouquet and claimed them for my own.

I brought them home, divided them between two vases, placed them on two different tables and felt so domestic I could hardly stand myself. I might even be inspired to use more than two ingredients plus water when cooking this week.

I have a suspicion that some kind of domestic bug has crawled out from those blossoms and bit me. Have mercy. If I start talking about grinding my own wheat, y'all better send someone to check on me. It might mean that I took a ride on the mattress pond and bumped my head.

Speaking of being a little scattered, I had the random number thing pick the winner of Friday's contest but I can't for the life of me figure out how to number the comments. And with all my flower arranging, I didn't have time to count. So, the winner is #122.

I'll try to count later and give a big ol' CONGRATS to whoever this is. Happy Crazy Monday!

No More Yuckies

Hi Sweet Friends...

Today's post is taken from my book/ Bible study for Moms, "The Bathtub is Overflowing But I Feel Drained." Today you have a chance to win this book/ Bible study for Moms.

If you leave a comment today, you'll be entered to win. Be sure there is some way for me to contact you.

Also, head over to Laurel's place for a chance to win another one of my books. I'm participating in a little Fall GiveAway that Laurel Wreath is putting on. Happy Fall Friday y'all!

Many things amaze me about being a mom, especially a mom's ability to understand what the cry of her child means.

So when I heard a moaning cry coming from my youngest Brooke, I knew a long night was ahead of us. A stomach bug had caused her to get sick all over her bed, her carpet, her stuffed animals and even her nightstand.

While I consoled my crying child, I took inventory of the mess and started to feel completely overwhelmed. My husband Art very graciously offered to work on the room while I took our daughter downstairs to get her cleaned up.

No sooner had I gotten Brooke clean and tucked into a pallet on my floor when the yuckies struck again. I decided the two of us had better stay in the bathroom together.

I held her and tried to console her with a wet cloth on her forehead and gentle strokes of comfort on her back. With tears in her eyes, she looked up at me and said, "Mommy, I've prayed God would make me get better, but He's not answering my prayer."

"Oh, sweetheart," I softly replied. "God wants all the yuckies to get out of your tummy so your body can be healthy again. He'll help get better as soon as the yuckies are gone. Why we don't we pray together right now."

With her little raspy voice she started. "Lord, thank You for this most wonderful day. Please help me to stop being sick. But most of all, thank You for this most wonderful day."

I was stunned.

With tears in my eyes, I thought, I want to be just like her when I grow up. In the middle of life's yuck I want to still be able to see God's goodness and thank Him for each wonderful day.

Great Expectations

Can you believe fall is already here?


One of my neighbors has her pumpkins out already. Oh the pressure.


Every year I make plans that next year will be my grand autumn decorating year. I even have tubs of fall foliage and wreaths and ceramic pumpkins up in my attic. I just need to find my decorating motivation.


Before too long, it will be time for tinsel, lights, and red and green bows. Ashley just told me her Christmas wish list will include a real live monkey.


That's just what we need. For the next three months I will be redirecting those wishes to things less alive.


Loving animals comes naturally to her. It's in her blood. TerKeurst's are farmers.


And then Art married me. The girl who can't even keep houseplants alive much less grow from seeds things you can eat. Or milk an animal.

We both knew while we were dating that our childhoods had been very different. But I was determined that once I had that ring on my finger I would take a sudden liking to all things domestic.

Oh dear.


I quickly became overwhelmed during our first years of marriage with all that I perceived a wife should be and do. I placed huge expectations on myself. I was so busy trying to do things that would prove I was a good wife, I became an absolute bundle of frayed nerves.


Something had to give.


Finally, I went to Art and asked him to describe a good wife. His answer surprised me.


He didn't list most of what I was wearing myself out trying to accomplish. We were able to list out both of our expectations and discuss which were realistic and unrealistic.


We talked about the unrealistic expectations and how we could deal with those. Then we talked through creative ways to meet each other's realistic expectations.


It wasn't that we solved every marriage issue that day. But it opened up the lines of communication and was a huge step in the right direction for us both.


I've learned many important lessons throughout my 16 years of marriage. But learning to properly deal with expectations has been one of the most crucial.


Now, back to those autumn decorations. Art could care less. So they may or may not make it out of the attic this year.

And that monkey on the Christmas wish list this year? It will make for a great discussion with my daughter on the topic of unrealistic expectations.
________________________________________________________________
Have you and your husband ever discussed expectations? A great question to start with is asking your husband to define the word "haven."

What has helped you to let go of unrealistic expectations?

And not that this question fits... but just out of curiosity... have you pulled the fall foliage out of your attic yet?

Devotion Survey Results

This post is under construction. These results will be posted after December 10, 2008.

Blessings,
Lysa

Refusing to Gossip

I got a phone message one day from a neighbor. She simply said that she knew I liked to run and if I ever wanted to run with someone to give her a call. What I didn’t know until much later is that God had been speaking to her heart and wouldn’t let up until she made that call.

We did start running together and what started out as a simple act of obedience on her part wound up developing into an amazing friendship. This was also a huge answer to prayer for me. I had been praying for a friend who is exactly like Holly.

Not only is Holly one of my closest friends but she is also now my executive assistant. In other words she keeps me straight on many levels and I love every minute of it.

One day Holly gave me a unique gift that made my heart feel forever safe with her. Though it wasn’t costly to her, it wound up being priceless to me.

She committed to me that she would never say anything dishonoring about me ever. It was actually more than just a commitment to me, it was a covenant promise she’d made with God. I can’t even express what peace this brought to my heart.

It’s not that I feared my other friends were gossiping about me. I did not. And I can’t say that my other friends wouldn’t make this same promise. They probably would. But Holly verbalized this commitment in a very bold way. A way that has defined our friendship and built a beautiful trust that is rare between women.

Gossip is such a hard thing. It is easy to slip into and hard to walk away from. If we just assume we won’t be tempted to gossip, we are fooling ourselves and potentially setting ourselves up for trouble. Verbalizing to a friend that they can trust us to never betray them puts action to several crucial verses of Scripture.

First, refusing to gossip keeps us from trouble. Proverbs 21:23 says, “He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.” I’ve found, it’s not good to be put in situations where idle chatter abounds. When I’m with my friends I try to bring up topics to discuss that lead to positive, life giving conversations.

The second verse is Proverbs 10:19 which says, “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.” I am a girl so without a doubt I love talking. However, I try to limit the number of words that I speak. This can be hard When I want to jump in and add my two cents to every conversation. But I’ve found the less words I speak, the more intentional I can be with the words I do say.

Something I’ve taught my kids is to ask three questions before speaking: Are my words kind? Are they true? And are they necessary?

The third crucial verse that is put into action when we verbalize our commitment to never betray a friend’s trust is 1 John 3:18. It says, “Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” In other words, let’s just not say we love our friends. Let’s put the truth of Scriptures in practice by showing our love with trustworthy and pure actions.

Not only was I encouraged by Holly’s commitment, I was challenged to watch my words like never before. Care to join me in accepting this challenge?

It not only makes friendships richer but even more importantly learning to control the words we speak makes our relationship with the Lord more authentic and believable. James 1: 26 says, “If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.”

Let me know if you've decided to accept this challenge.

Also share some things that have helped you safeguard your words.

Who Moved My Field?

The football season is now upon us. Yeah.

I say that with the same enthusiasm that I might muster up to express my joy over cleaning my base boards with a toothbrush. Yeah.

While my family hoops and hollers and cheers with all things pigskin, I express my excitement by plucking my eyebrows.

And eating the chips and dip. I like to do my part you know.

But then a football story happened here in North Carolina that made me laugh so hard, I might just need to stop plucking and start watching.

Apparently, the UNC Chapel Hill Tar Heels had a cool little plan to have the game ball delivered by parachuters for their Saturday night game. However, clouds caused some visibility issues.

So, the plane circled until it finally located a clear spot over the stadium.

Parachuters made a perfect jump right to the 35 yard line.

Perfect.

Except that they landed in the wrong stadium.

They were 8 miles off in the Duke University stadium among some very confused officials and players warming up for their own game.

Have mercy.

I laughed so hard because I can totally relate to those poor parachuters. Many times I have jumped into something with both feet only to be surprised by where I land.

Are you a football fan? Do you have some little tidbit of football knowledge that you'd like to share? Is there any hope that I could be more entertained by people smacking into each other than by my own eyebrows?

And the best question of all, do you have a favorite game day recipe?

Help a sister out. This might be the only football enthusiasm that lands on me all season. Weak pun intended.