Off Kilter Days

We all have them. Off kilter days. Mine started yesterday when I fell in the toilet.

One of the man cubs I live with forgot to put the seat back down. They are usually so good with this it doesn't occur to me to look before I sit.

That was a big mistake yesterday.

Right after that little incident, I went into the kitchen and discovered the child that had been assigned dishes and kitchen clean up duty the night before had, well, forgotten. I had made a double batch of a really yummy dinner so we could enjoy left overs today. But now all that food would need to be thrown out.

I also noticed that another thing I'd asked one of the kids to do had not been done.

I think this back to school thing is sucking all the brain cells from my family.

So, I asked the Lord to come to me quickly and interrupt my natural flesh response before I blew some sort of gasket. I don't even know what a gasket is, but I'm fairly certain it ain't pretty when one blows.

I choked out a very simple prayer, "Encourage me Lord, please."

As I opened the Bible I turned to a few random pages before I finally landed on a treasure of a verse, Psalm 86:11-

"Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name."

So, I continued my prayer."Lord, thank you for this verse. Yes, I want an undivided heart. I love that part of this verse. My heart can get so divided and stretched and pulled in a million directions. So, thank you for this reminder. Also, could you send something else my way today that would just be a practical bit of encouragement? I could really use that as well."

The minute I finished praying, my eyes fell on the first part of the verse. "Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth." I had been so excited about the undivided heart part of the verse that I'd brushed right past the first part.

Those words, "Teach me your way," wouldn't leave me.

Those 4 words just kept running through my mind. Kind of like when you get a song stuck in your head and like it or not, you know you'll be singing it, humming it, and tapping your fingers to it all day long.

Eventually, I came to realize those words were the encouragement God was giving me in response to my request.

I wanted to be appreciative but to be honest, I'd had something else in mind. I don't know, like maybe getting a call from a gal you might have heard of named Beth who teaches Bible Studies saying she'd like to go out for coffee. Or something else small like that.

Instead, I'd be sipping up my grande latte with 4 words, "Teach me your way."

I pulled my Bible back out and re-read the verse in context just to see if I could at all understand what God was trying to teach me. Finally, I saw something besides just 4 words.

There are many ways I can choose to react when things happen each day. I can choose the way of "it's my right to be frustrated." I can choose the way of "does no one listen to me around here?" I can choose the way of "do you know how this makes me feel?"

Or, I can choose to let God teach me His way.

My way leads to all kinds of runaway feelings that lead me away from the truth and into a absolute pit of yuck.

His way leads to calmly finding a solution without all the anger and frustration. His way leads to me being able to extend grace- the same grace which I so desperately need myself. And His way leads me to the truth.

The truth is it's a bummer when you fall into the toilet and it's an even bigger bummer when food is wasted, the kitchen is left a mess, and people don't do what they are supposed to do.

But why compound those bummers and make them even worse by adding run away emotions.

Even though yesterday was hard, I can honestly say, learning more about His way and walking in His truth despite my feelings was a great gift of encouragement. I couldn't believe how calm I remained. And today I'm even more encouraged because I don't have to deal with the yuck that comes after losing my cool. It is good.

Almost as good as having coffee with you know who. Almost.

Differences

This is one of my most favorite pictures of Hope as a baby.

At such a young age, it just so clearly portrays her approach to life. And I take great comfort in this photo because at this point she was so young it is quite evident that this is how God made her.

I can't take credit for the good that comes with her being this way.

I can't beat myself up for the not so good that comes with her being this way.

I can only help her navigate the realities of what must be learned when you've been blessed with a very strong will.

I understand the strong will part of her personality. Let's just say the apple didn't fall far from the tree in that department. However, her approach to life is quite a bit different than mine. For years, I have processed her life through my filter and often found myself shaking my head with this child.

I think I have mistakenly assumed since she is strong willed like I am that she must be in the process of becoming just like me. Therefore, I have been trying to get her to see life and do life my way for years.

Then the other day I read this post by Antique Mommy. And I can't shake the truth that I learned from it. Seriously, it has opened my eyes up to the fact that Hope is growing up to be exactly who God created her to be.

Yes, as her parent, there are still life lessons to be taught. But, our differences don't necessarily make her wrong and me right. They make us different.

Even the title of Antique Mommy's post taught me such a powerful lesson. When I first saw the post I would have bet my life on the fact that the title read, "Life is a blast." That is the way I process life so I assumed that's what it read. But at the end of her post, something triggered me to go back and reread the title.

In reality, the title of her post is, "Life is a beast."

I couldn't believe my eyes. And therein lies my profound lesson.

Though Hope is just as strong willed as I am, she uses her strength differently than I use mine. She uses it to make her careful, cautious, and critical of things that don't seem quite right. I use my strength in a much more Pollyanna, carefree way.

To me the glass is always half full. To her the glass is half empty.

And to be honest with you, I've finally come to realize her seeing the glass as half empty is not such a bad thing. It prompts her to be ultra organized and prepared in advance.

Meanwhile, I'm skipping around in my Pollyanna world with a great attitude but not always ready for the reality that the glass is about to be empty and something should be done about it.

To her, the glass is full when it is full. To me, I could care less if the glass is full or empty as long as every body is happy and having fun.

I have a sneaky suspicion she might one day take over at Proverbs 31 Ministries and be my boss. And I've finally come to the realization that if that happens, I would probably be better for it.

She's a Redneck Woman

Just in case your husband has ever told you that he doesn't get this bloggy thing... show him this photo and tell him two things:

1. This fish was in fact caught in the pond in my front yard.

2. If you happen to come fishing over at my place and you get tired from catching smack daddy bass, I still have a floating mattress complete with cup holders upon which you may rest.

Now if you'll excuse me a producer from Country Fried Videos just called. They'd like to interview me.

But first I'll need to clean up a tad. Which means calling my hound dog into the kitchen so he can lick up all the pork rind crumbs. Y'all have a nice day now.

Devotion Time

Thank you all so much for praying for Ashley. Surprisingly, the MRI came back revealing no major injuries, breaks or tears. The doctor was shocked. We were jumping for joy.

She does however, have a lot of fluid on her shoulder joint and quite a bit of swelling. So, she's still in pain. But hopefully with the right therapy she will start to heal soon.

While we are overjoyed that the tests revealed nothing serious, she still has some pretty major decisions ahead of her regarding gymnastics. Prayers appreciated.

Now, on to my questions for you today.

I'm working on a chapter in my book called "Devotion Time Blues" and I'd really love to hear about how you do your quiet time. Feel free to answer as many of the following questions as you want to. Any information you provide is so much appreciated!

Do you struggle ever struggle with your quiet time?

Do you ever feel more like it is more of a duty than a delight?

How do you overcome when your quiet times get dry?

Do you have a resource you use along with your Bible?

What has helped you learn how to study the Bible?

What advice would you give to a new believer on how to get started having a quiet time?

Why do you think devotion time is important?

Again, please only answer the questions you feel led to answer. And please put your name and either a link to your blog or your e-mail address in case your advice is chosen to be featured in my book.

Thanks so much friends!

And a special thanks to all my bloggy friends who drove from all over to hear me speak last night. I was blown away by your love and support. If you were there and you are posting pictures on your blog site... let us all know.

Trust

I'm not sure who else needs this verse today, but I know I sure do.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

I woke up this morning worried. You know that pit in your stomach feeling that is especially troubling when it's about one of your kids. Over the weekend Ashley had to have an MRI on her shoulder that has been bothering her all summer.

It seems an especially cruel time to be struggling with an injury when the excitement of the Olympics has her heart all fired up about the sport she's loved participating in for ten years now.

Not that she aspires to go to the Olympics. She doesn't. But she has been working toward being good enough to get a college scholarship in her sport since she first learned how to do a forward roll. Then those simple forward rolls turned into flips on a four inch beam and flying through the air around small wooden bars.

Somewhere in all that midair danger, dreams were born.

After several state championships and developing a work ethic that would rival most adults, she was right on track to achieving her dream. But this past year has been extremely challenging. And now, today, we'll get the results of this MRI of her shoulder and I have to admit I'm worried.

When I woke up with dread in my heart, I could only think of three words to pray. So, I prayed them over and over and over, "Lord, help me."

Inside those three words were the cries of a mom for wisdom, perspective, peace, and a need to know how to help navigate a precious little 13 year old's heart past whatever we'll face today.

Really, isn't this our prayer as parents most days?

So, this verse is what rushed into my heart while praying my simple three word prayer.

Trust- the opposite of worry. Every time I start to feel those pangs of worry, I should see it as a call to verbalize, out loud, my trust in God.

Lean not on my own understanding- Oh as a mom, how I want to be in control of things that affect my kids. But in most situations I can't just stand tall in my own strength and manipulate the circumstances around me. I must learn to lean. Rest fully on the Lord and His perspective of all situations.

This injury seems like opposition to my daughter's dream. But in God's perspective it's an opportunity to achieve something purposeful in my daughter's life. (James 1:2)

In all my ways acknowledge him- Instead of letting my emotions and feelings run away from me, I must reign them in to be an acknowledgement of who is really in control here. (James 1:22)

He will make our path straight- The shortest path to God's richest blessings is always paved with trust and obedience. My head knows this... Lord, will you help my heart catch up?

The richest blessings are not found in achieving worldly success and the life we think we must have. The richest blessings are found in experiencing God along life's path and trusting that no matter where He leads, His route is always the best for us. (James 1:25)

Like I said, I'm not sure if anyone else needed to hear this today... but I sure did. Happy Monday bloggy friends.

And then one day she grew up

The other day I received a text message from my daughter that read, "Mom, can I get a second hole pierced in each ear?"

I replied back, "No, one hole is enough."

Then she texted, "Mom, I'm almost 15, please?"

To which I frantically replied, "15? 15? When did you get to be almost 15? Stop, stop right now. No more growing up. Oh and by the way no more holes either."

Seriously, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that a year after you celebrate turning 14, you will in fact turn 15. But somehow when I saw her text message stating what age she is quickly approaching, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I remember being 15. It seems like yesterday. Well, maybe a few yesterdays ago. But still, I don't feel that far removed from my brace faced, moon walking, Izod wearing, back pack carrying days y'all. How can my baby be turning 15?

My mind starts racing. In a few days she'll start high school. In four years she'll be heading to college. How can this be?

I promise it was just yesterday that I was tying matching bows on her pig tailed hair and asking if she remembered to pack her sippie cup and cheese stick for snack time at Kindergarten. Then I'd watch her little curly-headed self, grab her Polly Pockets back pack and bounce up the front steps of her elementary school.

Time. It does have a habit of slipping away from us.

And those moments we thought we'd have forever, do eventually run out. They are precious. But they are not endless.

Have I taught her enough? Is she ready for this big step? Can she handle the peer pressures that will come her way? Is her faith where it should be? Why does she want a second hole in her ear? And do I even know why I said no to her request for said second hole?

Oh the questions. They do come at times like this.

So, I quietly slipped out of bed this morning and asked Jesus if we could have a little chat about it all. After cruising through a few verses in John, I found myself staring at the most perfect verse for today in 2 Timothy 1:12 which says, "... I know whom I believed and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day."

So, Lord, I entrust this precious little lady into your hands. Please keep her safe. And I know since you are God you know everything but as her Mom, I feel compelled to say just a few more things...

Lord, please remember she appears so tough on the outside, but inside she is quite tender.

And she really shouldn't eat sugar in the mornings as it will make her cranky by noon.

Oh yes, and she wants this second hole in each of her ears and I told her no. I'm not completely sure why my answer is no but it was and it is and well, you get the picture Lord.

And you see, I think this is hard because that precious bundle you placed in my sweaty, tired from all that labor, arms almost 15 years ago... yeah I still see her like that sometimes.

All this letting go can be a little complicated.

So, basically, what this mama's heart wants to say is thank you Lord... for the gift this girl has been to me and for Your assurance that you'll hold my baby when I'm not there to do so.

Let's talk trash

It's a Holly-day today, and Lysa gave me permission to talk trash, so that's exactly what I plan to do!

Oh, we've had a fun summer. We've enjoyed high class things like eating cheese balls, watching the turtles sunning on the wayward mattress over at the TerKeurst pond, and putting fresh dents in my hubby's car. This summer has been like an episode of "The Simple Life" only instead of Paris and Nicole, you get Lysa and me!

So, with all of the excitement, why am I so ready for the yellow bus to come to my home? Well, I love my 13 year old. Really, I do. His imagination never ceases to amaze me. But the time has come for him to entertain other humans besides his mama.

I came to this conclusion yesterday when he bounded inside announcing what he had just done.

He tied some fishing line to a dollar bill and set up a well planned little sting operation in the middle of the road. When the trash guys came by and thought they'd scored a little cash, ZZZZZZZZZZIP!

Oh the hilarity that my son enjoyed. There was some serious knee slapping, high fiving, and absolute guffawing going on.

Then the empty trash can gave him an idea for their second source of entertainment for the day.

He jumped inside our empty, smelly, yucky trash can and hid until a sweet, happy, innocent young biker pedaled by. He then proceeded to scare the pants off this little kid by popping out of the can.

Oh my.

Lysa told me this was the most 'stinkin funny' thing she's heard in awhile. Uh, literally.

Too bad the photo isn't a scratch-n-sniff for ya'll.

Holly

You Really Might Be a Redneck If...

If the mattress your kids used as a float in your pond has a cup holder- you are most definitely a red neck.

No joke this is what I found yesterday as the latest addition to the mattress saga.


In reality, the hole is not a cup holder. It is where my kids and Art attached a hook and chain to try and drag the mattress out.

But seeing as this thing full of water and heavens knows what else, now weighs about 500 pounds, it is still proving to be a bit of a challenge.

I have a bad feeling that plans are being made to hook this mess up to Art's pick up truck. All in the name of removal of course. There certainly will be no plans for this little hook up to become a ride of any sorts.

However, if you see a sign out by my mailbox today that reads, "$1 for the ride of your life," explain to your kids that a bunch of redneck crazies live down in them there woods and under no circumstances are they allowed to come visit.

"I know what would be fun to do today... let's make Mom go crazy."

I'm a little busy this morning trying not to go crazy. I'll let you talk amongst yourselves as to the reason why. I'm going out for a run- jog- cellulite jiggler- exercise session to hopefully regain some mental stability before my people wake up.

I'll be back in a little while to tell the tale.

Okay... I'm back.

So, as a mom do you ever feel like you say the same things over and over and over and over everyday, all the time?

I think next time I go into the radio studio to record my show, I should have a recording made of my voice saying the following:

* We flush everytime we go in this house- no exceptions

* An empty toilet paper roll is a call to action before you sit down people

* The dryer lint must be cleaned out after every load lest you want our house to burn down and render us homeless

* If the orange juice container is empty, it goes in the trash not back in the fridge

* When mom says we are eating leftovers, it does not translate into meaning have your brother drive you over to the Target so you can eat candy and pretzels instead

* We'd all be much happier if toe nails were clipped outside and not at the kitchen table--- hello sanitation violation

* If you spill something sweet and sticky on the floor, just humor me and clean it before the ants come

Yes, so these are the things that my recorded voice could say over the PA system throughout the house. If we had a PA system that is.

I say these things over and over.

But now I have a new thing to add to the list. Honestly, I never pictured myself having to teach this lesson.

It just never crossed my mind that I would need to say to the kids, "If you find a mattress in the neighbor's trash pile, do not place it in our pond and use it as a flotation device."

Because then it will fill up with water and be impossible to get out of the pond.

And then everyone who comes to visit will suddenly have a flashback to a certain Jeff Foxworthy comedy skit called, "You might be a redneck if... you have a dadgum mattress floating in the pond in your front yard."

Of course king daddy told the kids to "take care of said mattress situation."

And they did.

They went out and jumped and jumped and jumped until the mattress sank.

Of course they didn't tell us that's how they'd taken care of it. All this time, we assumed it was back in the trash pile.

And then one beautiful morning as the sun rose, so did the mattress.

I called Holly and told her I think I might need some kind of medication to help me survive y'all.

Oh what a night!

Anyone want to take a guess as to why I heart pop tarts this morning? I'll be back around noon to tell you more.

With pictures.

And an explanation of why my girls are all refusing to wash their sharpie marked arms. Oh yes, and why we were riding the midnight train last night.
____________________________________________________________

I'm back. Oh you gals are so clever... Yes, it was the POP TART American Idol Tour.

We felt all grown up and fancy riding the Uptown Train, singing at the top of our lungs, and hanging out until midnight after the concert for the autograph session. Because you know nothing makes middle school girl's hearts skip a beat more than someone who has sung a song or two on the...

TV!!!

SQUEAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SIGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SQUEAL SOME MORE!!!!!!!!!

Here we are about to board the train to Uptown Charlotte with signs in hand. Oh what official fans we are. All signs were made by young teens who ADORE David A.

Side Note: All women in our group closer to the 40 mark... total David C. fans.

But we had no signs. Just really loud and obnioxous screams. That embarrassed the stink out of our kids. We learned well during our Rick Springfield days.

Oh and we won't even talk about the faces we got from our kids when we busted out with some of the finest 80'd dance moves evahhhhh! Do you see how absolutely impressed my daughter is with me and my moves.

Oh the young man that makes all the young girls cry. Sigh. He only makes me cry because I'm old enough to be his mother! He does have a mighty fine voice. And still seems to be shocked that people cheer for him. I like that about this David.

"Mom, do you see David A. on the stage? It's really him. It's. REALLY him!" Oh young grasshoppers... if you think it's cool to see him way up there on that stage... wait until after the show.

The two youngest of the group singing their little hearts out.

After the show, we lined up with the 50 million other adoring fans hoping to get a few autographs. We waited with the 50 million other adoring fans for over an hour. And finally, some of the idols came out to great the 50 million adoring fans.

Did I mention the crowds? Have mercy the crowds. Who are all you crazy people staying up until all hours of the night for a few autographs?

Of course, my family of crazies were right in the thick of things! The majority of the cameras, arms and hair ribbons you see in this photo belong to me.

Brooke White is just about the cutest little thing you ever did see. She even took time to talk to my little Brooke. They bonded over the fact that they are both called "Brookie" by their friends.

And then here is my Ashley and Chakeezie... spell check please?

And here is Ashley with Jason. Do they not look like they could be related or what. All except the hair of course. Oh the hair... honey child, here in the south we have these things called brushes and scissors.

Michael Johns just about brought the house down. Not kidding. He was REALLY good.

And from the stage he said, "One reason I really like being in the south is because there are Chick-fil-A's here.

Oh my stars... Michael you can totally come to our store and sing for your supper any ol' time you'd like.

Have your people call my people!

Another young lady that brought the house down! Carly, you rock sister!

Oh Siesha. What a doll you are. And to borrow a phrase from my good friend Randy Jackson, she has some pipes that can blow baby!

And then the heart stopping moment of our girls' childhood...

DAVID A!!!!!!

"We'll never wash our arms again!"


Or our hands! Here's Brooke with David A's autograph. As we were riding the train home at midnight Brooke exclaimed, "This has been a good year for this hand." This is the same hand that shook Laura Bush's hand in the White House earlier this year when her class went on a field trip to the White House and they just happened to run into Laura and George W.

The girl has connections y'all.

Her mama has yet to do half of what she has done and I have lived 4 times as long. Maybe I need to get some new dance moves?

Remember who you are.

Earlier this week I posted about a talk that Art and I did at Camp of the Woods last week called, "Giving Your Family a Spiritual Vision." It is a fun talk to do. One of my favorite parts of the talk is when we teach about having a family signature.

Think about times when we are required to sign something. Our signature means something. If it's a check, it means I am vouching this check is good and I have the money in the bank to cover what I'm purchasing.

If it is a mortgage, it means I promise to take good care of the property and make monthly payments to fulfill my obligation to the bank.

If it is a permission slip for my kids to do something, it means I understand the risks involved and am willing to let my child participate.

There are hundreds of things that require our signature. And while each thing we sign may mean something different, the meaning behind the signature itself, stays the same. Signing your name means promising to be a person of integrity.

Our name is worth something. The Bible says in Proverbs 22:1, "a good name is more desirable than great riches." Therefore, we've decided as a part of giving our kids a spiritual vision, we'd teach them the importance of keeping our family name one that stands for good character and solid integrity.

We've spent years teaching our kids character lessons and highlighting people who model solid integrity. We've tied these lessons to be defining marks on what we want our name to stand for when people think of us.

But we wanted a way to quickly encapsulate all those lessons into one quick statement that could be said every time our kids head out into the world. And it had to be a statement that makes sense to all our kids whether it's our teen heading out on a Friday night with friends or our elementary age daughter heading off to school.

So, we came up with the simple statement, "Remember who you are."

This is our family signature.

All those life lessons, boiled down into one easy to remember and easy to repeat statement. Remember who you are.

And this isn't just a reminder to hold our family name in high regard. No, even more importantly, it's a reminder to hold the fact that we are part of God's family in high regard. Calling ourselves Christians is a huge responsibility. Christ's name is part of our identity.

Does all this mean we have kids who never mess up or let us down? Nope. It doesn't even mean that I never mess up or let others down. Have mercy it's tough having a sold out to Jesus soul stuck in a flesh filled body.

But what it does mean is that we've defined what we're shooting for and hopefully we're all in the process of getting closer and closer to hitting the mark.

Happy weekend bloggy friends!

Oh and if you're looking to enter a contest to win some books on marriage written by an imperfect wife whose learned a thing or two during the past 16 years of being happily hitched... head over to my friend Micca's place.

Keeping Our Cool With Our Kids

I was in utter shock.

I'd always promised myself to never, I mean never, allow my children to pitch a fit in public.

And then I had one of these precious creatures.

We got along just fine until she was 15 months old. And then something happened. She looked the same on the outside. But some shockingly loud and demanding creature had somehow taken up residence inside my little blue-eyed daughter.

Her peaches and cream complexion had suddenly become red, pinched and twisted. Her body was flailing on the ground with animal crackers spilled all around her.

She had wanted them now. I had said no. Then from out of nowhere the terrible two's made an early debut. In the grocery store check out line. With other Moms looking on.

Moms whose kids suddenly started shining their halos and rising up to call their mom blessed in the shadow of my child's most unfortunate behavior.

Perfectly airbrushed models from the magazine racks joined the others staring at me. They were dressed in clothes with no unsightly stains and wrinkles. Their makeup was smooth and flawless.

I stood in such stark contrast to all the onlookers.

I started sweating profusely as I leaned down to try and say something, anything, to take control of this situation. One of her kicking red keds then knocked my wallet out of my hand. Cards, receipts, and coins scattered about in an array of disorganized glory.

I just kept repeating one statement over and over in my head, "My number one job as a mom is to remain calm. Don't freak out. Don't freak out. Don't freak out."

Many, many grocery trips later I stared into those same blue eyes. Only this time they were surrounded by mascared eyelashes on a teenager's face. Though she wasn't flailing about on the linoleum floor, her crossed arms and rigid stance brought back memories of the great animal cracker debacle from years before.

That very same statement popped into my head, "My number one job as a mom is to remain calm. Don't freak out. Don't freak out. Don't freak out."

Oh how I wish I could claim to be an expert on this topic. One that has fool proof answer tucked in my back pocket that always helps me remain calm.

But the truth is, I'm a mom on a journey. A mom who doesn't have all the answers and a mom who doesn't always hold to my conviction to remain calm and not freak out.

However, that's the beauty of a journey. It allows for treasures to be accumulated along the way. And I've learned a thing or two.

I've learned to be aware of the triggers that chip away at my resolve. Triggers come in all forms. Too little sleep. Too many to-do's. Too tight of a time schedule. Too little planning. Things common for many moms. Being aware of these triggers and doing my best to eliminate them keeps my emotions from escalating and my temper from flaring.

I've also learned to be honest with my boundaries. Saying no can sometimes be the most positive answer. No one benefits from a worn out mama.

And I've learned when my kids make poor choices to let the consequences of those poor choices scream so I don't have to. I love reality discipline.

Which brings me to the reason that my precious blue-eyed teen was standing with crossed arms and a rigid stance. It's a bummer when you leave your lunch at home and you have to spend your own money to replace it on the way to school. Money which would have been more fun to spend on earrings.

Just for old times sake I thought about also making her buy ME some animal crackers. Because I'm sentimental like that.

Isn't fun to be a Mom? Keep your cool sister... and never let 'em see you sweat.

Girl vs. Wild

In case you missed it, I spent some time in nature last week. And I believe the nature might have liked me. Apparently so much so it just followed me home.

It seems you can take the girl out of the wild but you can't take the wild out of the girl.


Um... Holly, is this thing moving? Are those teeth? Are you sure this isn't poisonous? Kids will you google a black snake with yellow rings?

Look at the prize my little Jack Russell Terrier, Champ, brought to me today. He is my mighty warrior. I won't tell you about all the screaming and begging him to stay away from this fierce slithering creature that occurred. But I can tell you Champ won.

Now if this doesn't make you want to go on a Cruise with us crazies, I don't know what will. Oh yes ma'am, there is always an adventure to be found.

But you'll be happy to know the most dangerous thing we are planning to do on the cruise is a little shuffle boarding.

So, we'd love to have you come along.

Oh there will be eatin' and some laughin' and some playin' and some more eatin' and some sunnin' and some preachin' and some more eatin'! And did I mention the food?

Save your pennies and dimes and ask for this for every gift between now and Christmas.

Then come next February strap on some sea bands and some smack daddy sunglasses and board a big ol' boat to sail the high seas with the Premiere Christian Girls' Getaway Cruise.

For more information, click here.

And I promise to leave the snakes at home.

Come on Baby light my Olympic fire!

I approached my adult gymnastics class with a new vigor yesterday.

I just closed my eyes, and suddenly I was 90 pounds of pure muscle dressed in a little red leotard with a star on my ribcage. I was Lysa Lukin for the U. S. of A. wahhhhhhhhhh- the crowd goes crazy.

And then class started.

And not one part of my body could move like an Olympic gymnast y'all. No matter how hard I pushed. No matter how hard I strained. No matter how hard I grunted.

I couldn't stretch like an Olympian. I couldn't move as fast as an Olympian. I couldn't jump as high as an Olympian. And have mercy, I definitely couldn't make my body do any kind of flippy thing like an Olympian.

Sigh.

And let's not even go there with the little red leotard. Oh honey, if I squeezed my body into that people would ask "those" kind of questions.

You know like: When are you due? Are you having twins?

Very figure affirming questions. And that just wouldn't be good for my competition mindset you know.

So, then I started wondering if there is any Olympic sport I could still do at my age with my current post baby body times 3.

Beach volleyball?

Are you kidding? Seeing me in a bikini jumping up and down would not be suitable for young viewers. But it would be a good abstinence promotion as flat bellied teens everywhere would suddenly be thinking twice about you know what which can lead to you know what.

Swimming?

I have two preventative words for you: Southern hairdo. Can you imagine me trying to fit my hair underneath one of those little, tiny, squishy caps? I've had too many years sitting under the tutelage of the 'Vidal Sassoon' and 'Big Sexy Hair' cans of spray. The confines of a swim cap would simply be unthinkable.

Track?

I'm too slow.

Weight lifting?

I'm too weak.

Soccer?

I'm too directionally challenged and feel certain I couldn't keep it straight which goal to shoot towards.

I wonder if they could ever have mothering as an Olympic sport?

I mean we get up at the crack of dawn to start training, get pushed to the brink of exhaustion, and have mental and physical challenges that I dare say rival any recognized Olympic sport.

And our uniform would consist of clothing that covers left over baby fat, cellulite, and spider veins while simultaneously keeping ones' hairdo away from humidity.

Oh yes ma'am, where do we sign up?

Speaking of signing up, I'm scheduled to speak on a cruise next February. And I was just thinking about how much fun it would be to have lots of my bloggy friends join me. I think we could have a total blast.

If any of you are remotely interested, let me know and I'll post more information.

In the meantime I'm off to leap tall loads of laundry in a single bound. "Look at that toe point and the arm extension she gets!" And the crowd once again goes, "wahhhhhhhhhhh!"

In our midst

Camp of the Woods 2008... what an amazing time we had. This is just simply a beautiful place. Combine amazing surroundings with fun family time and you've got quite a vacation.

But isn't it funny that even when everything seems perfect... little things... little stupid things can chip away at your heart's peace?

On Wednesday, Art and I were scheduled to speak on "Giving Your Family a Spiritual Vision." I might as well had a red target on my forehead that read, "Bring it on Satan."

So, with 4 teenagers, one nine year old princess, and a hubby who likes to be clean, all sharing one small bathroom in one small cabin can prove to be bonding on good days and um... a struggle on the not so good days.

Wednesday was a challenge.

I was the last in the shower. And I had the most to do to get ready. Hola, la familia? Who has to speak today and who just simply needs to saunter into teen chapel.

Ahem.

When I finally got all 38, 472 hairs on my head washed, dried, straightened and sprayed, I started clippy clapping my little speaker shoes through camp.

That's about the point the rain decided to mock all my gettin' ready efforts.

My Bible proved to be a handy shelf to at least block the bangs area of my hair. And really the protection of southern style bangs is of the utmost importance.

I finally made it into the speaking room with only half my head looking like a wadded up frizz ball. And then I realized with all the spraying and straightening and Bible bangs holding, I had forgotten my notes ALLLLL the way back in the cabin.

Have mercy.

You've got to be kidding me.

At this point I'm not feeling any kind of spiritual vision much less wanting to speak about it for the next hour. An hour in which I would be required to stand before fellow humans looking strangely like a drowned little rat with some serious frizz on her fro of a hairdo.

Have you ever wished Scotty could beam you up?

I would have been delighted to be reduced into a million space particles if it could mean I'd be able to pop to and back from my cabin to get my notes without having to get back out in the rain.

But since Scotty only beams people up in episodes where people trek through stars and not a rain soaked camp, I started clippy clapping back through camp.

I was having an honest talk with the Lord about his timing of rain showers. Okay, I was pouting and whining. "Don't you see me Lord?" "Why the rain right now?"

All of the sudden a friend came out of nowhere with an open umbrella and simply said, "Lysa, you need this."

I thanked her, took the umbrella, and slowed my brisk pace back to my cabin. I peaked up and over the edge of the umbrella to look into the sky.

I smiled. I apologized. I laughed. And I got a brand new dose of spiritual vision from the Lord.

Why was I questioning whether or not God cared about me? So things went slightly awry. So a little rain fell in my life that day. So the events leading up to my talk weren't exactly great. So my hair was frizzy and my notes a little wet and smeared.

Why couldn't I just take it all in stride and negate Satan's nagging voices right from the get go?

I realized that most times it's not the big things along my spiritual journey that tempt me to get a little off track. It's a culmination of little daily aggravations that I know God could fix but doesn't.

But what if I've been looking at these things all wrong. What if instead of seeing these as inconveniences, what if I saw them as reminders to draw near to God. James 4:8 says, "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you."

My little rain soaked, frizzy haired, clippy clap shoes wearing, notes retrieving self determined that this little trek through camp had done me a lot of good.

Later that night at dusk, I was sitting on my bed gazing out at a most glorious sunset while talking with God. "Forgive me for always praying, God bless me. Give me the courage to sometimes pray, God inconvenience me... so that I might constantly be reminded to draw near to you. Interrupt me Lord. Shake things up in me Lord. Reveal what's in me that's not of you, Lord. Oh Lord, more than anything, I want more of You."


At that moment, I could hear my friend Suzy yelling outside our cabin to come out and look at something. I assumed it was the sunset I'd been staring at.

But when I got outside and turned away from the sunset, the view of this glorious rainbow stretching across our cabin made my breath catch in my throat.

The panoramic view of the sky that night was unlike any I've ever seen. On one side of the mountain range, the clouds swirled and mixed with the sun's setting rays. And on the other side, a glorious arch of color and promise.

I grabbed my heart as I felt God's creation exclaim, "The Lord is not just near... He is delighting, dancing, speaking, wooing, and painting in your midst."

Restless feet

I must be honest with ya'll. I am not a big fan of pet stories.






With that being said, if you can hang with me, I have a quick nifty pet story to share...


Our 3 year old black lab named Maya usually sleeps in a crate beside our bed. The other night, we forgot to lock her in. And boy was she restless.


She'd sit on our bathroom floor for a few minutes, then walk out into the family room, then come back into our room and crawl into her crate, then back to the bathroom floor. It was a continous cycle that was beginning to drive me loony.


I was thinking that surely she should be enjoying this freedom. Surely she should want to take advantage of it. Surely she would settle down eventually. My mind was spinning lots of thoughts at 2am...


It wasn't until after I got up, put her in her crate, and closed the door that she settled down and began to slumber almost immediately.


She was happy about it.


Lysa and I were dissecting this interesting set of circumstances surrounding our ever faithful running partner.


Seems we like our boundaries developed by our Master after all perhaps?


Psalm 119:143, "I find joy in your commands."


What are your thoughts? Dissect with us and write a comment!


If you are a pet analogy lover that is...

Lysa and I with Maya - we love our morning runs!

Thanks for hanging out with me this week everyone! I kinda feel like the new girl at school. The new girl who ran the whole way home to mama exclaiming, "I met lots of nice people and I have friends!" It just doesn't get much better than that.

Happy weekend - Lysa will be back next week!

Blessings,

~Holly

Calling dad

I loved everyone's quirks yesterday! I was surprised to find that I could relate to so many of them. Marilyn, I don't use my remote to lock my car doors either! (In an effort to save the battery on my remote, I just press the lock button on my door as I'm getting out.) For some reason this totally frustrates friends and family alike.
~Holly
____________________________

My son's cell phone took a joy ride the other day.

He just happened to place his phone on the back trunk of our car. Yes, the very car pictured in yesterday's post. And yes, the back trunk. We don't know why he put his phone there...he's a boy, and he's 13. That's all I'll say about that.

The back trunk must have been a very convenient idea, place, or thought at the time. It's flat, close to my son's basketball net, and was apparently beckoning the companionship of his cell phone.

My hubby and I jumped in the car several hours later heading to a 40th birthday party.

We quickly pulled out of our development on our way to pick up another friend about 4 miles away. Driving at a decent clip, we were probably pushing the speed limit at 45 mph. We made several turns, pulled into our friend's development, picked her up, and headed straight for the big event.

As we arrived at the party, I noticed my hubby lagging behind talking on his phone. I was giving him the 'ole 'please get off your phone and come into this party with me now please' look.

That's when we discovered that our son's cell phone had the ride of its life.

It stayed on the back of our car the entire way to our friend's house, and finally fell off as we turned into her development.

Someone drove by a short while later, nearly running over it. They stopped to pick it up, scrolled the address book, and called 'Dad'.

Amazing, don't you think? It's a fun story we've told several times over the past few days. We are not only thankful to have the phone back, but we also can't help but notice the spiritual significance in this situation as well.

Like I posted on Tuesday, if I'm not learning, I'm not really living.

How did we get the phone back? Dad's phone number was programmed into it.

Is my Father's number programmed into my life each day? He promises that He is always with me. Do I look for Him? Do I call on Him? Do I praise Him? Do I depend on Him for my every breath? Do I notice Him?

Or do I hide behind my self-protecting walls, not allowing Him or anyone near, relying on me and my strength and myself.

Oh the verses I could share with you! But I will stick to this one for now. Jeremiah 33:3, "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know."

Great words to ponder today, don't you agree?

Have a 'lost and found' story? Or a great verse we can all ponder for today? We'd love to hear it!

~Holly (Lysa's Assistant)

Quirks and Issues - we all have them

Thanks to all who commented yesterday about what you've been learning. Your insights were brilliant and beautiful. Each one of you touched my heart.

~Holly

_____________________________________

Quirk confession time.

I have about a 50% success rate when I pull my hubby's car into our very narrow garage. It's true - I only clear the sides about half the time. (Please take note that I said very narrow)

Take a look at the evidence.

No matter how carefully I navigate, I still struggle. It's difficult, trust me.

Lately I settle for this nifty tactic - as I'm sloooowly pulling in, if my house slightly shakes, I know I need to back up and try again.

Is my hubby happy to see the damage increase every few months? Let's just say we don't talk about it anymore.

He sighs (heavily), I shrug my shoulders, end of discussion.

Quirk confession time:

What quirk do you have or do that drives your friends and family up a wall? (or into a wall if you're anything like me.) Please share with us!

Blessings,

~Holly (Lysa's Assistant)

Join in the fun! To post your comment or read the comments, simply click on the word 'comments' below.

If I'm not learning, I'm not really living

I am a bit curious. Is 'cheese ball' one word or two? Several of you spelled it as one word yesterday...hmmm. Spell check and I agree it's two words, but we've both been known to be wrong before. Come to think of it, why should cheese ball be different from meatball? or baseball? or basketball? But then there's soccer ball, and tennis ball...

___________________________________

I love to look for ways in which God is teaching me new things. Sometimes it's through routine happenings in my day, at times I'll learn through the tender words of a friend, and other times He'll clearly speak directly into my heart.

Regardless of the method He chooses, I'm always looking. And I try to seek the lesson in each situation I face.

I'll often breathe a quick prayer while I'm in the throes of something, "What are you trying to tell me Lord, what is there to learn even in this?"

In my mind, if I'm not learning, I'm not really living.

Now don't mistake me for being an intellect in pursuit of her second and then third master's degrees. I'm happy to be learning simple, everyday lessons that will bring me closer to the heart of God.

About a year ago, I was asked to speak at our church one evening at a women's event. I felt compelled to reveal the things God had been teaching me in recent months. I still love this list. I'll share a few of them with you.

As you read through this, ponder what God has been teaching you lately.

I've learned that there is a reason they post speed limit signs.
I've learned the importance of speaking truth in love.
I've learned to appreciate and respect parents who have a child who's living with a disability.
I've learned that when your school tells you they'll charge you for picking up your kids late, they mean it.
I've learned that a true friend offers acceptance, affirmation, encouragement, support, and is always available. If you can find 3 or 4 of these friends in a lifetime, you are blessed.
I've learned that it's much cheaper to cover my gray roots with a boxed product from Target, than to sit and have someone else do it for me.
I've learned that my teens can pick up on hypocrisy faster than I can count to three.
I've learned that people may not remember exactly what I did or what I said, but they will always remember how I made them feel.
I've learned to sit and really listen to others - it's one of the best ways to learn about life.
I've learned that God is who He says He is, and that He is more than enough for me.

And,
I've learned that what is most important in life can't be seen with the eyes, only with the heart.

How about you? What are you learning?
Lysa and I would love to know!

~Holly

Lysa's Assistant

Psalm 86:11a "Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth."

Missing Cheese Balls

Hi Sweet Bloggy Friends!

My family and I are at a Family Camp up in the Adirondack mountains this week. So, I've asked Holly to post each day and delight you with her funnies, insights and craziness.

This is why we are such great friends... crazy breeds crazy y'all.

Take for instance this post. And I'll have you know, I didn't eat a single cheese ball.

Excuse me while I polish my halo... and finish that bag of m&m's waiting for me back in my cabin. And if you think of it, pray that I won't have any unfortunate encounters with bears this week.

Of course, if I do run into said bear, I would tell him there is a much tastier girl down in North Carolina who just happens to be very full of the goodness called the cheese ball.

I'm nice like that.

Now without further ado... I give you a "Holly-day."

This barrel was was sadly full of cheese balls just 3 days ago.

My son is away for the week.

My hubby works during the day.

My daughter doesn't like cheese balls.

I was home, and I love cheese balls.

I'm fearing that they must be in my possession somewhere...

Please tell me I'm not the only one who has days like this.

(And I didn't even mention the double stuffed Oreo cookies we have in the cookie jar behind the cheese balls...they're really good too.)

Looks like I'll have to add 'watch out for stray bears seeking cheese ball bellies' to my To Do List for today! Thank you very much Lysa. I love you too. Really, I do.

~Holly

Lysa's Assistant

Food, glorious food

Thank you for your kind Oprah show support from yesterday. I think I got to most of the questions by leaving tidbits woven throughout the comments. I dreamed Beth Moore left me a comment last night and almost peed in my sleep. Not sure why I felt the need to over-share there but it is what it is.

On to other fascinating conversation.

Yesterday, after watching Oprah, I decided to scan the tube to see what other things come on in the late afternoon hours of TV land. This is a rare treat for me. These hours are usually reserved for running kids here and there and stressing over what in the world I will feed all these people.

But thanks to the goodness called leftovers, I had some time.

After a brief stop over to visit Jon and Kate plus 8 where they were having a clothes shopping date... (where can I get one of those?)... I finally landed on the curiosity called 30 Minute Meals with Rachel Ray.

Rachel, I'm sure you are all into my blog, so please don't take offense. I think you are cute as a bug and smart as a whip. But you lost me honey, somewhere between the fresh cut herbs and code language of calling Olive Oil "the E.V.O.O."--- have mercy it took all the brain cells I had left for the day to figure out what that was!

And then after the show was over, I was famished. But not famished for my crusty looking leftovers. No, I wanted some of her fresh herb encrusted chicken with the sides of perschutto wrapped asparagus and fresh from the garden 3 bean pesto salad.

If any of you are whipping together that little treasure of a meal today, will you share the love please?

Anyhow, all that to say I am no whiz in the kitchen. What takes Rachel 30 minutes would take me 3 days. By then all the food would have spoiled and I would still be found peering over the recipe cards in great fits of confusion and frustration.

So, Proverbs 31:14 says, "She is like the merchant ships bringing her food from afar."

Y'ALL... I have finally found AFAR!!!

I have found the very source from which I am convinced the P31 woman purchased her food!!!

Hello COSTCO, where have you been all my life. You are my new official "AFAR."

Seriously, they have a little section of very reasonably priced almost prepared foods that make my heart sing.

Here is a sampling of my some of my newly dsicovered meals which honestly take less than 30 and require no food processing or drizzling of freshly chopped herbs and "the E.V.O.O."

Fresh bread crumb encrusted Tilapia.

Fettuccine Alfredo with Grilled chicken and fresh Parmesan.

BBQ wings.

Steaks wrapped in Smoked Apple Bacon.

And this Costco AFAR is SOOOOOO much cheaper than my local grocery store.

I am happy y'all.

Now, I need to tune in one of those exercise shows.